End of Innocence
by Winfan2
Summary: Raylan's life is already crazy, but now with sole custody of his eleven year old son, a boy who is just like his father, life has become even more chaotic. Occasional discipline of a child and some language.
1. Chapter 1

**End of Innocence **

Nate stood there looking around; contemplating what had gone so wrong that he had been dumped in the middle of this backwoods hellhole. It, of course, like so many things for so many people, traced back to the sins of his father. His mother had escaped holler living but then she had the audacity and misfortune of being caught and killed in a cartel crossfire which then involved his father, who, while barely working within the parameters of the law managed to get himself tossed from his Florida location back to where his life had begun. There was no doubt it was a punishment for his lapse of judgment in shooting and killing a man in broad daylight in the middle of a busy and well attended restaurant. So to say that eleven year old Nathaniel Ray Givens wasn't too happy with his father as he stood at the front door of his new junior high school in Lexington was an understatement.

He had loved his old school and life in Florida. He and his mother had gotten along fairly well though he was beginning to pull away a bit as many preteenagers seemed intent on doing. His father Federal Marshal Raylan Givens had always been a part of his life despite their living arrangements. Nate had been born to a very in-love couple but when his mother Nadine decided that she had no desire to bring up her young son in the hills of Kentucky she fled to a cousin's house in southern Florida. She hated leaving her man behind but to become the mother she had always desired she placed her son first. To give Raylan credit he understood enough not to lash out at her for absconding with their son, but the disappointment was quite clear in his face and voice. But he was never late paying child support, he remembered every birthday and Christmas sending all kinds of memories of home and he visited as often as he could, snatching up any assignment that would bring him anywhere close to where his son lived.

But he did move on, marrying Winona, who refused to have children due to his dangerous career choice and that only pushed him closer to the son he did have. After six years it was clear he and Winona were heading in different directions much more quickly than they could ever rein in. Raylan ,who had been looking to transfer for years from the marshal training school in Glynco to Florida found himself e-mailing, IM'ing and texting his son regularly all things he never thought he was either capable of or would do unless a gun was to his head. But Nate was always on his mind and something that kept him sane in the insanity that seemed to swirl around him on a regular basis.

A break finally came one day though it was in a way that he had never wanted. Nadine had called saying that Nate had been feeling poorly on and off for over a year and they finally had a loose diagnosis. Raylan had been aware of his son's plight had even flown down and had taken him to a specialist at one point, but answers weren't forthcoming and he had to get back to Georgia before any specific answers were found. But finally there appeared to be some kind of discovery that proclaimed his son suffered from some kind of allergies to many foods and preservatives in the modern food chain along with an unidentified autoimmune disorder. The result of this was he felt symptoms relating to his body's rebellion that ranged from stomach/intestinal discomfort and nausea to bladder pain as the lining seemed to be disintegrating as his body attacked it. They were concerned his stomach lining and intestinal tract may be next as well as his joints. This was a mystery and one that seemed to be eating his son alive. So he got his transfer due to hardship.

Now years later Nate's condition was somewhat under control but it was tenuous at best. He took lots of little capsules and ate a very limited diet. He had good days and bad days and often it was quite apparent by the expression he wore. He was a tough kid and didn't look for any sympathy or excuses due to his illness but it certainly was responsible for wearing him down and making him moody at times.

Nate had insisted that he go into the building alone and Raylan stood back leaning against his car watching his son size up his new school. He smiled as Nate turned around for that last look of encouragement. Raylan nodded his Stetson bobbing with the motion, he made his hand into the shape of gun and fired off a fake round and blew away the imaginary smoke from the air; it had been something they shared for years when the parted ways. Despite Nate growing up a bit it still made him smile and acknowledge the action that they alone shared.

Leaving his gun slinging father behind Nate made his way inside with all the paperwork he had been mailed to them in previous days. He found the locker that matched the number on his first sheet and found the combination worked. He opened it up and stuck his backpack filled to the brim with supplies inside. His next stop was to the office, he carried his folder and its contents along with forms that he had to turn in for his medical care. He would receive extra privileges such as bathroom breaks whenever he asked as well as extra time between classes and time with nurse at his say so. Plus the absentee rules didn't apply to him as long as he kept his grades up. But what he hated was giving his medications to the nurse. He had rallied to keep the pills with him and take them between classes back in Florida but here in Lexington they hadn't granted his request stating he had to get them from the nurse. He feared it would only serve to make him standout even more than he already did. He didn't dress like these kids or talk like these kids and he just wanted to go home. It was hard enough starting school in the middle of the year, but what made it worse was that he would be the youngest sixth grader as he had tested into Kindergarten at age four in Florida. He wouldn't be twelve for some time to come.

Due to his health issues he couldn't play sports like he had when he was younger. He had loved soccer and took after his daddy on the baseball diamond. He was a great hitter and had a fantastic arm both which he would make use of on his better days, but a typical game was out as he couldn't generally run without pain. He was a smart kid above grade level in reading and a very articulate speaker but that generally didn't make him very many friends, unless they wanted him to win an argument for them. Whether his intelligence and maturity came via his illness or his birthright he struggled with it as much as he did everything else in his life.

He entered the office and stood smiling at the secretary who was having no success at getting off the phone despite her best efforts. He looked at himself in the reflection in the window and pushed his bangs, still lightened by the Florida sun, upwards. Even if the marshal wanted to deny paternity there wouldn't have been a chance in hell as the reflection revealed a young Givens all the way. Nate was a good looking boy who would have no problems wooing the girls when the time was right. He had his dad's rugged looks along with his mother's bone structure which made a perfect balance. He would most definitely turn heads.

Before the secretary could get off the phone the principal came out to greet him and invited him into her inner sanctum. "Welcome Nathaniel," she beamed.

"Nate, everybody calls me Nate."

"Okay then, Nate. I want to thank you for coming in early today so we could talk. I just want to make sure I understand everything I need to. Now you are moving here from Florida right?"

"Yes ma'am," Nate responded remembering his father's advice on how the titles sir and ma'am were used regularly in these parts.

"Alright, you're living with your father, is that right?"

"Yes."

"And he works at the Federal Building downtown, how exciting."

"If you say so."

"What does he do for a living?" she asked smiling.

Nate took a big breath, he had wanted to say lawyer, bailiff, just general office worker but he was sure somewhere in that file the truth laid waiting. "He's a…"

"Deputy Federal Marshal," she said having reached said place in the file. "Now that is real exciting."

"Not if you want him home every night," Nate mumbled under his breath.

"What's that?"

"Nothing, yeah he has an awesome hat, a cool, shiny badge and a very deadly gun."

Principal Carrington paused unsure what to say. "Well I'm sure he is very careful." It was all Nate could do not to cry, laugh or shake his head. "Now I have your schedule here and a map of the school, we can take a walk around right now just so you have an idea where everything is. The rest of the kids won't be here for another fifteen minutes or so."

With the tour out of the way he headed back to his locker just as the rest of the school began to pour inside. He took a deep breath as his fellow students milled around the hallway; he would just have to make the best of it. The move to Kentucky wasn't an easy one; he knew his father had tried valiantly to stay in Florida but was practically shown the state line and told not to come back anytime soon. They knew Raylan would always be a rebel and they had a sinking suspicion that the DNA didn't fall far from the tree.


	2. I Wanna Be Like You part I

_Warning…there will be some discipline in both parts of this chapter…Nate pushes beyond the limit of Raylan's endurance and the marshal reacts to worst fear a parent can have._

**I Wanna Be Like You part I**

"Arlo this is your grandson Nate," Raylan begrudgingly introduced. He hadn't been looking forward to this but Helen had called and had really wanted to meet Nate. He felt after everything she had done for him throughout his years he at least owed her a visit and unfortunately Arlo was part of the package. He had no desire for his son to have any type of relationship with his father and didn't plan on any regular visits.

Raylan had given his son a broad overview as to why father and son didn't get along and made sure the boy understood never to believe anything his grandfather told him. He also had no intention of ever leaving his son alone with his father. Nate seemed to take it all in stride as he sat patiently in the living room of the house in Harlan County.

"I know who he is, who else would you be toting around. The last time I saw you, you was just a baby, right before your mama lit out of here like she was on fire." Arlo stated.

Nate just stared his eyebrows shot up at his grandfather's terminology. "Spoken like a true Kentuckian."

Arlo wasn't quite sure what Nate had meant. "You look some like her but I see lots of your daddy in there too. I sure hope you don't act like him." He said giving his son a dirty look.

"How about some lemonade," Helen offered not waiting for either Raylan or Nate to reply.

"I can't drink lemonade, too much acid."

Helen looked confused. "He can't drink most fruit juices the acidity in the fruit irritates him." Raylan interjected.

"Oh, well then what would you like?"

"Nothing, I'm fine," Nate said shifting in the chair.

"Well how about a chocolate chip cookie then?"

"I can't have chocolate, the caffeine is a problem."

"He's on a very restricted diet," Raylan stated.

"So I see; poor boy. Does it help your…your condition?"

Nate merely shrugged. "They tell me it does, but my life still sucks."

"Spoken like a true man and a Kentuckian." Arlo quipped.

"Great I've already turned," Nate said sighing.

"So do you like Lexington?" Helen asked.

Nate shrugged again. "It's okay I guess."

"How about school? Have you made any friends yet? It's got to be hard to start late in the year."

"So far it's boring, no friends, not yet and yes it is hard starting late. They even start in July, because it's year round."

"Oh my, that is early. But I'm sure you'll make lots of friends soon," she assured, patting his knee.

After an hour of back and forth conversation Raylan decided it was time to wrap up the visit, Nate was about to explode if he had to sit and answer any more questions and he didn't want Arlo to feel as if he would ever truly be a part of his grandsons life. So they packed up and headed out to the yard where Nate once again paused at the miniature graveyard. "There's one for you," he pointed out.

"I know, I never liked it either."

"Are you going to be buried here?"

"That my son is up to you."

"It is?" he asked wide eyed.

"Yes it is, you put me where you think its best."

"Right by my side for a long time," the boy responded.

"Fine choice."

"But you have to try and fulfill it."

"Will do partner, will do," he said swiping his fingers over the brim of his hat.

They headed away from the homestead when Raylan got a call. He kept his answers short but Nate feared he was being called to a scene and he would end up back with Arlo and Helen. Finally he disconnected and smiled at his son. "Have to make a quick stop."

"It's Sunday, you aren't supposed to work on Sunday," Nate admonished.

"I know kiddo but they just need another set of eyes for a minute and it isn't very far from here. So I'll go take a look and then we'll go home."

"Yeah right." Nate said snidely.

"Now don't be that way."

Nate reached over and took his dad's hat and placed it on his own head where it instantly fell around the boys eyes. He looked down and kicked the dirt in frustration and then climbed into the car. "Wake me when it's over."

Raylan drove for a few more minutes and followed the winding road down to where a group of marshal's had convened. "Sorry to bring you in on your day off," Art said as Raylan got out of the car. "This was supposed to be the ATF's deal but they got hung up on another matter. Otis Guthrie and his crew are said to be in the woods not far from here. He's wanted on a warrant concerning some illegal gun running. His posse is said to be flush with weapons and the desire to overthrow our government starting with Frankfort," Art explained. "It might be helpful to have you here Raylan since you're a bit more familiar with the area."

"Sure, I just have to make a call and have somebody pick up my son," he said nodding towards the car.

"Rachel isn't far, she can take him back with her," Art said peering over at the car.

"Sure," Raylan agreed going around to the passenger side. He opened the door and took his hat back.

"Let me guess you're staying and I'm going."

"They need me here, Rachel from the office is on her way and she'll take you to our house and sit with you until I get back."

"She can drop me off, I'm not a baby."

"No you're not a baby, but I want her with you, besides what will she do if she's not with you?"

"Marshal stuff like you're gonna do."

"Just sit tight for a bit." Raylan said taking back custody of his hat.

"Like I have choice," Nate sighed leaning back into the seat.

Raylan joined Art who took out the map and had it spread out on the hood of a car. "We think the group is right around here," he pointed. "But I sure wish I had confirmation, going in blind is not a good choice out here in these woods. I want Tim towards the front with you Raylan, but the trees, while they'll help cover us will also make for a tough shot."

The group continued to discuss the best way to attack the situation and had become so involved they didn't even hear Rachel drive up. "So where's your son?" she asked walking towards the group.

"He's in the car," Raylan said.

"No he's not," she countered.

Raylan looked over at the Lincoln his eyebrows knitted together in concern. "He's probably laying down in the backseat."

"I checked; he's not in there."

"He probably just stepped out to pee or something," Tim offered.

"How long has it been since we began discussing our plans?" Raylan asked.

"A good twenty minutes I'd say," Art replied.

"Shit," Raylan said looking around. He took his hat off and sighed, a bad feeling taking hold.

"Why do you say that?" Art asked concerned.

Raylan stepped towards the tree line just as his phone rang. He looked at the caller ID and relaxed. "Where are you?" But he was met with the sound of rustling and then finally very faintly his sons voice.

"What?" Tim asked backing out of Raylan's way as he rushed over to his car and stuck the auxiliary cable into his phone and cranked up the volume.

"Hey boy what are you doing here?" A voice rang out.

"Hello, what are you guys doing, is this like a hunting camp or no, it's like an outdoor man cave right? My father wanted his in the basement but my mother said no so he added on to the garage and I'm not even invited in there," Nate babbled using his very best Floridian accent.

"Who are you?" the disembodied voice asked.

"My names Mark O'Brien."

"What are you doing here?"

"We're on a trip, we live in Florida but my mom is tired of not having all four seasons so she wants to move back to Maine but my dad says that's too far north so he is trying to talk her into Kentucky. He likes all the hills."

"How old are you?"

"Ten."

Raylan shook his head. "What is he doing?" Tim asked.

"Telling him he's younger so he is less of a threat."

"No what is he doing?"

"He took off into the woods to get a line on where their camp is. He must have overheard our concerns, so he's pretending to be some stupid lost kid while he gets a look at their set up. He has his phone on mute so we can't be heard but we can pick up his conversation."

"Are you kidding me?" Art snapped. "Just great, I get two for the price of one. Please tell me you didn't orchestrate this?"

Raylan looked as if he had been slapped and Art instantly regretted his accusation. "Shhh," Rachel said causing them all to listen once again to the conversation.

"So why are you out here by yourself?"

"My parents pulled off at a scenic overlook up the road so they could argue about the whole moving thing, I guess they prefer to yell in the midst of beauty. But nobody seemed to care what I thought so I just left. Heck they probably aren't even aware I'm gone. So what to you guys do out here? Do you get to hunt and stuff? My dad wants to hunt, that's part of the reason he want to move here. He's in computer software so it doesn't matter where we live, but I personally just want to go back to Florida."

"Kids good," Rachel commented. "He keeps them off balance by talking nonstop."

"His demeanor is so calm, likes he's been doing undercover work since he was two." Tim added.

Raylan merely glared at them.

"So I guess I better turn around and go back before they have a fit. It was nice meeting you guys, I hope you have fun without your wives and all."

"Hey kid," came a familiar voice.

"I think that's Otis," Art said.

"Be cool Nate," Raylan whispered.

"Yeah."

"Don't mention you saw us here."

"Sure, I wouldn't want to ruin your man cave experience. Have fun."

They heard a few voices rumbling in the back ground and then just the sound of Nate walking in the woods. They all held their breaths praying they didn't hear a gunshot. The air was clear of sound other than Nate's steady pace.

"Keep your same pace, don't run and don't reach for your phone," Raylan said to his son who couldn't hear him. "What if they have somebody following him?"

"Then they'll be in for a hell of a surprise when they get here." Art said. "Tim take the western edge of the trail and if anybody is following him or looking the least bit menacing shoot them."

Raylan looked pale and like he might vomit at any time. He continued to listen to the quiet noise emanating from the phone. He had sat down in the driver's seat turned so his legs were outside the car he took his hat off and smoothed his hair back. He looked up at Art who did his best to bury his anger and disbelief to give Raylan a sympathetic look. He desperately wanted to explain the similarities of how Raylan was feeling as to how Art felt when the marshal pulled one of his stunts, but he wasn't the type to kick a man when he was down. Suddenly Tim came out of the woods and announced that all was clear and Nate wasn't far behind. Raylan suddenly shot up and headed towards the trees.

Art motioned Tim over. "I want you to grab Raylan when Nate comes out; he needs a minute to collect himself before he can get his hands on his son." Tim nodded and moved towards Raylan.

Finally the small frame of the younger Givens appeared and as ordered Tim grabbed Raylan. Nate looked scared as he tried to work up a face full of contrition. He stood frozen; much like his father had been only moments before. "I'm fine," Raylan assured as he spun out of Gutterson's grasp.

Nate wanted to step backwards but he held his ground. His father looked more imposing than ever as his face was rock hard in anger and disappointment. Suddenly Raylan's hand shot out and crashed across his son's face. The sound seemed to reverberate off the surrounding trees. Before anybody could react the marshal had kneeled down and scooped his son up and pulled him close holding onto him for dear life. It was clear as the man buried his head into his son that he was doing his best not to lose it. His coworkers stepped back giving the small family the privacy they needed.


	3. I Wanna Be Like You part II

**I Wanna Be Like You part II**

After several moments Raylan stood up but kept his hand on his son's shoulder not willing to let him go just yet or anytime soon. "We need to get his statement while it's still fresh," Art said.

"Yeah, sure," Raylan agreed steering his son over to the area where they had been working before.

Nate swallowed hard his cheek red from his father's fury. He pulled his phone from his back pocket and ended the call. "Now how far did you go into the woods?" Art asked.

"Not even a mile, they are just off the main path. There are at least ten maybe even fifteen and most had shotguns and rifles. I think some if not all have handguns too."

"How do you know?"

"When I first appeared their hands went behind their backs as if they were making sure their weapon was there, like checking for your wallet. There were also several wooden boxes, long and deep, my guess was they were full of guns. They had several tents, two lean-tos and several fire pits. They had pots and pans hanging up and several dead animals waiting to be skinned. There were also several targets hanging up across a clothesline; they looked pretty well used. Nobody called anybody else by name while was there, but they all looked like locals."

"You have pretty good powers of observation," Art commented.

"My dad taught me well."

"That he did son, that he did," Art said looking from Nate to Raylan. He then grabbed a white board and had the boy diagram everything he saw. When that was finished he told Raylan to take him home.

"Rachel can take him, I want in on this," Raylan said pleading his case.

"No I don't want you down there right after your little mini-me cased the place. If you haven't noticed he does favor you and I don't want any recollections popping into place. Besides I don't think you are in the right place emotionally to deal with this."

"I'm emotionally fine Art," Raylan assured.

"No you're not, I'm telling you, you aren't and it wouldn't be fair for those guys down there if you show up with a chip on your shoulder. Things had a happy ending here and let's leave it at that. We needed you for your knowledge of the area, but since Nate filled us in we'll be fine. Take your son home and use the drive to have a nice long talk."

"But I probably know some of those guys," Raylan argued. "I may be able to talk them out."

"Or you might think of your son in possible danger due to these folks and blow a gasket. I'm doing my best to not have to call the coroner on this one Raylan. Now take your son home and talk to him about boundaries."

Raylan looked defeated but listened and took his son by the bicep and steered him towards the car. He climbed in and looked over at Nate who had slid in the passenger seat and was buckling up. He leaned forward and started the car as he glanced over at his son who was desperately trying to disappear into the seat. Raylan stayed quiet as he pulled out and left the area. Finally he blew out the air he had been holding inside.

"What the hell were you thinking? I don't even know what to say to you." Nate merely shrugged. "That's all you've got is this," he said shrugging his own shoulders.

"Sorry, I just wanted to help." Nate said looking down.

"You just wanted to help," Raylan repeated, "putting yourself in mortal danger is helping."

"I guess I didn't think of it that way."

"Which is why you are in no way prepared to jump into a group of criminals; any one of them could have killed you and made you disappear and there wouldn't have been a damn thing we could have done to help you. I would have had to kill them all."

Nate allowed the corners of his mouth to rise a bit. "But I was okay."

"By pure luck."

"I just wanted some of the action," Nate argued his case.

Raylan looked over in compete disbelief. "You wanted in the action…you wanted in the action," he repeated. "Well boy as soon as we get home you're gonna be in for some action."

Nate swallowed hard getting the gist of what his father meant. "I wanted to be like you."

"Well as flattering as that is, you are in no way prepared for what you attempted. I've been trained and had a lot of experience."

"But you trained me," Nate insisted.

"I have taught you how to handle yourself in certain circumstances that you may find yourself in, not in deadly situations that you place yourself in. There were ten US Deputy Marshals with loaded weapons waiting and praying that you came back to us. That seems like a waste of money to me. You had no right to do what you did; we were handcuffed waiting on you. If we went crashing in they may have shot you or taken you hostage before we even got close enough. There may have been trip wires in the woods to signal our arrival and that would have put you in danger; we had to wait and hope that they were in a giving mood. You gave us no choice, by the time I realized you were gone you were chatting away with them, there was nothing we could do."

"It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Well it wasn't and I have a feeling you already know that."

"Yes sir, but I did good didn't I?"

"You did great son, but that doesn't excuse your behavior. What you did was reckless, irresponsible, arrogant and disrespectful. You owe every team member out there a big apology." Nate looked over his face tentative. "Tomorrow or sometime this week that is exactly what you will do."

"If you say so," Nate replied his arms folded as he looked down into his lap.

"I do say so," Raylan responded his voice somewhat stern.

"I just wanted to do something special, something important."

"What you did was dangerous; you have to let yourself grow up. Even when you become a Marshal you can't go off all half-cocked."

"You do."

"I am always in control, Nate, it may not seem like it, but I am." He explained.

"But I can't be a Marshal, I can't do the physical stuff required you know that."

"Well then you will find another way. You have a lot of heart and you will go far, just remember that." Raylan said pulling his badge out and tossing it to his son. "It's meaningless unless you can stand behind it. You may not get a shiny badge but you will stand for something, I know that much."

Nate turned the badge over in his hands and ran his fingers over it. "Sometimes I hate this thing, it takes you away too much and one day I'm afraid you won't come back."

Raylan shifted in his seat and tightened his lips. He thought back to the day when one of the doctors had told him it was entirely possible that Nate may not have the longest lifespan and could in fact die before either of his parents. It was like being hit with a bullet straight to the heart. He cleared his throat and looked over at his son. "Well I always do my very best; I'm not ready to leave you or this earth any time soon."

The next several miles rolled by without words and when Raylan looked back over Nate had his eyes closed and seemed far too peaceful to wake up. He was still holding the badge in his hands which were resting in his lap. He shared his vision with the road in front of him and his sleeping child. He remembered how excited the boy was when he told him that he was moving to Florida and could see him every weekend. He also recalled having to tell him that fateful day that Nadine had been killed in cartel crossfire just blocks from where she was to pick him up that day. If only she hadn't stopped to look at those sunglasses she would have never been one of the many innocent bystanders that had the misfortune of simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time. But Raylan also thanked God that Nate hadn't been with her. His son's distraught face of hearing the news will forever be with him. He had held his son all night that evening and then he went on the hunt to rectify the wrong that had been done to his family.

The drive was soon over and he pulled the Lincoln into the driveway and sat for a minute more waiting to see if Nate would stir. The three bedroom ranch home was simple but it sufficed for their needs. He was a humble man and a motel room would have been plenty for him but was no place to raise a child. So he was renting the house with the garage, basketball hoop and backyard and trying to be home every night and on weekends because there was something more to live for than his job. But they both knew the battle was never an easy one.

Nate finally woke up and looked around. "Are we home?"

"Yes we are," Raylan answered smiling. The sun was quickly heading towards the horizon and he hoped that the group from the woods had all been pulled out and accounted for by now.

They both climbed out of the car and headed towards the front door. "How do you feel physically?"

"I'm okay, a decent day I guess," Nate said as Raylan nodded. His symptoms had a tendency to ebb and flow or wax and wane as the doctor put it.

He jammed the key in the lock and turned it, the door gave way and Nate stepped through it. He was barely in the house when Raylan grabbed his arm and laid several meaningful swats to the boys backside. He then spun him so Nate was facing him then pulled him close and dished out several more. His hand was stinging quite a bit by the end of the assault so he felt as if he got his point across. "If you ever pull another stunt like that again so help me God that will be just the beginning." Raylan said, his face hard, his eyes no nonsense.

Nate, now at arm's length away looked up at his father, tears streaming down his face. "I'm sorry Dad; I didn't want to make you mad."

"I am mad, but more importantly, I was terrified and you just reaped what happens from a scared parent."

"Do you understand?"

Nate nodded furiously, "Yes sir I do."

Raylan hung his hat up on the peg next to the front door and Nate put his jacket on the hook right next to it. The house had a nice sized living room that was large enough to house a dining room table. The kitchen was adjacent to the room with an opening between the two rooms and breakfast bar so that someone in the kitchen could see and serve through the window. A hallway went off the living/dining room that contained the three bedrooms and lone bathroom. Raylan liked the set up as he had taken over the dining room table with all his work gear and could keep an eye on Nate while he was watching TV or working on the lap top when he wasn't using it. Nate often did his homework at the opposite end of the table while Raylan worked on his own projects.

Raylan went over and sat down on the couch and motioned for his son to come sit beside him. Nate reluctantly did sitting down slowly and gingerly. "The sting will be gone by tomorrow, I promise. I didn't want to have to do that but I felt I had no other choice. The thought of anything happening to you is the single scariest thing I could ever think of."

"Okay, sorry."

"Come here," Raylan said reaching over and pulling his son close. He placed his chin on top of his son's head and breathed deeply grateful for the moment.


	4. Boys to Men Part I of II

Boys to Men

Raylan had no idea how things had gone so wrong. It had started out innocently; he had picked Nate up from school and brought him to the marshal's office so he could hand out his apologies. Nate started with Rachel and Tim and found several others issuing his heartfelt regrets for his disappearing act the day before. After running out of marshals he headed to Art's office. He knocked on the door jamb as the door was open.

"Come in son. What can I do for you?" Art asked.

Nate stepped into the office. "I wanted to apologize for what happened yesterday. I had no business doing what I did and I want you to know it will never happen again."

"I'm glad to hear it and I accept your apology. I'm very glad that you were unharmed during the incident." Art said looking through the window at Raylan who was on the phone at his desk.

"Did you get the bad guys?"

"Yes we did and their set up was just like you described it."

"How many guys were there?"

"Twelve."

"How many and what kind of guns did you confiscate?"

Art smiled at the inquisitive boy; he was Raylan's son through and through. "Quite a few fire arms were taken; we'll leave it at that." He said winking at Nate.

Suddenly a man in a suit was standing behind Nate. "Is this a good guy or a bad guy?" The man asked looking down at Nate.

"This guy here is one of the best. Why just yesterday he helped us take down a violent splinter group."

"He did now did he? Well we just might have another job for him. I need to use your computer, we're onto something."

"Thank you Nate, I'll see you later," Art said dismissing the younger Givens.

"Yes sir," Nate replied turning to leave.

"Wait a minute Nate, how old are you?"

"Eleven."

"Are you sure? You look young. You could easily pass for ten, maybe even nine." The man said his face deep in thought.

Art's eyebrows went up and he once again looked out of his office at Raylan who was still on the phone but was watching the small gathering in his boss's office. "What are you thinking Agent Timmons?"

"Nate is in the target group, he would be perfect."

"Perfect for what?" Nate asked suddenly interested in the conversation.

"Well Nate, I'm Jeff Timmons and I'm an agent with FBI and am working on an important case right now. Do you know what the FBI is?"

"Sure, the Federal Bureau of Investigations."

"Very good, we sometimes work on cases that cross state lines since the local police have to stay in their local areas. Right now we are tracking a very bad man who likes to be with little boys around your age."

"I'm not so little," Nate countered.

"I'm sorry you're right, but he is a man who likes to play with boys in ways that only adults should interact."

"You mean he's a pedophile?"

Agent Timmons looked back at Art who shrugged. "Yes that is right. We are having a hard time finding him."

"You want me to be the bait?" Nate asked excitedly.

"Agent we should not be having this conversation without a parent present," Art admonished.

"Right you are." He leaned over next to Art and whispered, "so are his parents pot growers, meth cookers? Why was he used? To help their case?"

"No his parent is standing behind you," Art pointed out.

Raylan had come into the office after sniffing FBI in the air. The agent turned around and smiled at the tall angry looking marshal standing there. "Marshal, how are you this fine day?"

"Just fine Agent?"

"Agent Timmons, I was just speaking with your boy here." He said sticking his hand out towards Raylan.

"Yeah I could see that." Raylan answered ignoring the extended hand.

"He said I could help them." Nate pitched in.

"Oh he did did he?" Raylan asked, glaring at the agent.

"We have been on the hunt for this man for a very long time and he keeps slipping from our grasp, we need a boy your son's age just to lure him out into the open. We would be right there our eyes on him the whole time. We would even equip him with two GPS devices in case we lost sight of him."

"But you said your eyes would always be on him," Raylan pointed out.

"They would be, we'll keep him safe."

"See Dad they'll watch me." Nate chimed in.

"No, no they won't be watching you because you won't be helping them," Raylan said with a tight smile as he looked down at his offspring.

"I wanna do it Dad, I can do it," Nate assured.

"Have you already forgotten what we talked about yesterday, about what I said?"

"What about what I said?" Nate said his voice elevated.

Raylan looked around the anger creeping into his face and voice. He grabbed Nate by the arm and looked around for some privacy eventually dragging him into the conference room.

In Art's office he shook his head at the agent. "You had no right to do that, and I shouldn't have let you. He is a little boy."

"Precisely," Agent Timmons stated, "and he is exactly what we need."

In the conference room Raylan was trying to regain some kind of composure. "How could you even think I would allow this?"

"But it will be different; I'll have lots of eyes on me. It will only take a minute and then they'll have the bad guy. I bet they'll even let you be there too." Raylan just stared up at the ceiling.

"This is not a good idea and what kind of father would I be to let you be so close to a known criminal. I would only be encouraging everything I had disagreed with yesterday."

"But this is different Dad; this is a set up; protective measures in place and all that; I'll be okay. Please let me do this. It has to be fate or something that put that agent and me in the same place at the same time." Nate said his eyes pleading.

Raylan sighed deeply and looked own at his son who was really working it; his face bunched up in an attempt to sway his father into agreeing. "Go sit at my desk and do not move."

Nate thought this might be good news so he scurried off and planted his butt in his father's chair. He watched his dad walk back over to Art's office walk in and close the door. "If you are going to use my son then I have one nonnegotiable request," Raylan began. Behind his desk Art tried to quash a smile.

"What's that?" Agent Timmons asked eager to get the details in place.

"I'm not only there but I'm with him, right next to him, the whole time…and I'm packing."

"Now Raylan I don't know how good of an idea that is," Art said coming around his desk.

The FBI Agent seemed to chew on the idea not wanting this golden opportunity to slip away. "Well I've just been online with him posing as a local man into the game and I know he is in Lexington."

"Look if I'm with my son then you can fade back a bit and not spook him, better chance of apprehension with nobody getting hurt."

"But how do we explain your presence?" The agent asked.

"Easy, he can be my drugged out father who is pimping me out," Nate said sneaking in the door.

Raylan took two giant steps towards his son. "I thought I told you to sit at my desk."

"You did, and I made use of my time there reading in article in the paper that was on your desk. It was about a woman who sold her fourteen year old daughter for drugs. You can be my drugged out father who gets money or drugs by letting guys have their way with me." The three men in the room stood silent staring at the boy whose face held nothing but sincerity. "What, it does happen, it's a good plan."

"Actually it is," Agent Timmons said. "You could be right next to him the whole time and with the exchange of money we would have even more to pin on him. You have a bright future ahead of you boy," he said smiling. Raylan once again searched the ceiling for some kind of answer.

"Okay Nate now go and sit at my desk again and if you move the deal is off," Raylan warned.

Nate looked back and smiled before he ran straight for his dad's desk. He sat down and looked as the three lawmen conversed cementing the plan.

"We can dress you both to look rag tag and marshal we have people who can make you look the part if you can sell it."

"Well as much as the thought of selling my son turns my stomach I think I can manage."

"We'll have people around the park but as you stated we can be much less intrusive. But I'm not sure about you carrying; he may pat you down fearing a double cross."

"And if he's armed then we are far too exposed and the deal will be off and no amount of my son's persuasion will get me to change my mind."

"Okay, let's get this set up so I can get back online and put this into motion. We can worry about the details later."

Nate was cruising through records on Raylan's computer while having solitaire minimized so he could switch if anybody came by. He was reading all about Boyd Crowder when Tim came up behind him.

"Looking for loopholes?"

"Nope just tired of moving cards around in the screen."

"They were buddies as children, so strange the paths that people end up on." Tim said nodding towards the screen.

"Life is full of loopholes, some fall into them, some avoid them, and some get run right over by them and sometimes you don't even know which one happens to you."

"How old are you?" Tim asked.

"Eleven." Nate said sounding defeated. He was so tired of being the youngest everywhere he went.

"Are you sure?"

Nate nodded and smiled as he speculated on what he had just said while looking at the picture of himself on Raylan's desk that had been taken a week before his mother's death. His smile slowly faded but before he could reminisce any longer the meeting broke up and Tim leaned over and quickly closed out the screen before Raylan made it over.

"We are going to meet with the FBI team in charge of this fiasco tomorrow morning for an afternoon meet and greet in the park. You'll have to miss school."

"Tragic," Nate said, feigning sadness.

"Boy, you are on such thin ice, getting us into all of this."

Tim unsure of what was going on decided to comment anyway. "He is your son."

"Don't I know it," Art added as he appeared next the group as Timmons headed towards the door.

"I want Tim there; we'll be safe if he's there." Nate declared.

"Why do you say that?" Raylan asked.

"Cause he doesn't miss."

"Of course," Raylan said dryly.

Raylan woke up in the middle of the night and at first was unsure why. But he quickly remembered what the next day was to bring. He got out of bed and walked down the hall do his son's room and silently watched the boy sleep. It seemed to be the only time Nate was ever at peace. Raylan had so many concerns about his son and the recent behavior. He would by no means call Nate suicidal but he gave in to recklessness much too easily as if the outcome to his actions didn't really matter. He had to fear that his son's quest to live was slowly melting like a snowman in early spring. He had seen a counselor regularly since his diagnosis but rarely opened up much anymore. Raylan stood a moment more before he wiped away a tear that he hadn't even known had fallen.


	5. Boys to Men II

"Feel good?" Raylan asked the morning as they pulled into the parking lot of the motel where they would be briefed and prepared for the upcoming operation.

"Not my best day," Nate admitted.

"We can tell them no and go home," Raylan said looking over at his son.

"No I'll be in just as much pain there, let's do this. Besides it will take my mind off of it."

"If you're sure then."

The two were met at the door before they could knock. "Come on in guys," Agent Timmons said backing away to make room. "This is Michelle and she has some clothes for you and is going to make you two look the part. Raylan you're going to need a bit more work than Nate."

"What's your plan?" Raylan asked.

"We need to make you look unhealthy, drug addicted and worn out. Nate we want to look resigned to his fate and Michelle will try to make him look as young as possible which really shouldn't be that difficult. I'm not even sure you really are eleven."

"Well I'm sure," Nate said scowling. It was true he did look younger than his eleven years. It made school life difficult as he was always the youngest to begin with, but his small stature and baby face made him appear even younger.

Michelle broke up the little squabble by bringing out her tools and the clothes she intended to use. Raylan was adorned in a ripped flannel shirt and torn jeans and make-up to make him look gaunt and sickly. Nate had on jeans that had holes in both knees, worn out sneakers and a clean but ill-fitting t-shirt. Michelle then handed him a windbreaker with a broken zipper and a baseball hat that when worn backwards making Nate look even younger than his tender age. The two looked at themselves in the mirror and nodded.

"Actually being father and son helps a lot, he's your mirror image," Timmons commented as he pulled out a map of a local park. "Now we have a mic in Nate's hat and will pick up the entire conversation. And Marshal though I do understand your need for a gun I fear that he will frisk you."

"Stop right there Agent, no gun no deal I already told you that."

"Well we'll figure something out," Timmons said as he pulled out the map and began to point.

On the way to the park they went over everything again and again until Nate begged them to stop. "Let me see your sad desperate look," Agent Timmons asked.

"Easy, it's the same one I wear every day," Nate said.

"Well, good enough just remember to stay in character, oh and you need speak like a local. I noticed you don't have the local drawl."

"What, you're afraid I'm going to slip and call him marshal instead of dad…I've got it," Nate assured in his best local inflection. He discovered it came all too easy for him and he knew by the end of the year he would sound like a native whether he wanted to or not.

"Okay, just relax, it will be fine. We'll be fine, he'll be fine I'll be fine," Raylan said as they got out of the car.

Timmons pointed out everybody that belonged to them and their positions around the park. The plan was for father and son to hang out on the bench by the pond until Mr. X showed up; intervention would happen when money exchanged hands. The FBI had acted as a service on a website that helped direct pedophiles to prime locations to pick up what they were looking for. Acting as a father the agent had promised he and his son would be waiting for the tourist at the park bench and if the price was right they could do business. This particular man had left a trail of victims all between the ages of eight and ten from Mississippi to Kentucky. There were witnesses and DNA samples ready and waiting for his capture. Raylan had initially become a bit hesitant about going through with it that morning but the pictures of the young victims left him no other choice. The entire idea sickened him enough to realize how important it was finish it.

Raylan sat on the bench pretending to be dozing, while Nate sat next to him with a pocket full of rocks that he kept throwing into the pond in front of him. Raylan noticed his son still had a great arm as the rocks made their way a fair distance. "You smell like booze," Nate said.

"That's because I drank some and that other agent wiped some behind my ears like perfume. I really get into my role. Hey this might be our guy," he whispered. "Remember everything we talked about."

"Mr. Jones?" the man questioned using the pseudonym that was assigned to the Givens; Dan Jones and his son Josh.

"Yes I am, are you PapaBear 409," Raylan asked using the computer codename the man went by.

"You can call me John," he said sticking his hand out as if they were at a typical business meeting. "This is Josh then?" he asked looking Nate over.

"Well yeah."

"How old are you son?"

"Ten," Nate said getting tired of being younger than his eleven years.

"Nice looking kid, pretty mouth."

The remark nearly made Raylan recoil and it was all he could do not slam the man down on the ground, but he continued to play his role. "The deal is two hours for five hundred dollars."

"I only paid four at my last rendezvous."

"Well that wasn't with us and with the repeat customers that Josh has, I'd say he is worth every bit of five hundred."

"You have regular's son?"

Nate nodded. "I make them real happy."

"And they pay well to be happy," Raylan said smiling. "Then I'm happy aren't I Josh?"

Nate nodded looking sad and scared. "They say I'm the best."

"And the best costs, he's experienced or he can act like he ain't it's up to you, he'll be whatever you want him to."

John looked around the park carefully. "Let me see if you're clean, I don't want to be ripped off." Raylan looked disgusted but complied showing he wasn't carrying a gun. "Last guy pulled a piece on me and took my money. But I find this method much better, snagging a kid off the street has caused me nothing but problems; you promise them all kinds of things that they are eager to take from you but when it comes time to perform for their treats then it's all tears. They've made it very hard for me."

"Well you give me the money and you take him and we'll all be happy."

"Will you be happy Josh?" John asked.

"If you want me to be." Nate responded looking down at his shoes.

"For five hundred I want him the whole two hours, it will take ten minutes to get my hotel room each way. I'm over at the Hilton. There's a hot tub in the room, you like water Josh?"

"It's okay I guess."

"Look buddy I'm not getting any healthier here, do we have a deal or not?" Raylan snapped.

"Stand up for me Josh," John said.

Nate stood up and looked so pathetic that it nearly broke Raylan's heart but he had to admit he nailed the part. John looked him over and smiled. "How much for three hours?"

"Like what you see now don't you?"

"Stay cool Raylan," Tim said under his breath from his vantage point behind a bush.

"I do, he has your eyes, though he needs to perk up a bit he looks kind of forlorn. Keep it up kid and you'll be a has been and no good to your daddy in a year or two. Kids need to carry their own weight in this world, earn their keep. I'll be good to you," he said reaching out to touch Nate.

Raylan jumped up as Tim nearly exposed himself from the bush he was hiding behind as he lunged forward. Raylan grabbed the man's arm, "you don't get to touch him until I have the money."

"Okay then, everything behind closed doors, I get it. Here you go then, get your fix and I'll be back here in two and half hours then, right back at this bench," he said handing over the money. "Come on Josh, let's go have a little party, you like parties right, we can even order room service if you want."

Nate turned so his back was to Raylan. John reached out to take Nate's hand when Raylan pulled the gun that he had stuck in the back of his son's waistband and aimed right between John's eyes. Before anybody could say or do anything the shouts of FBI came raining down. Raylan pulled his son behind him and stepped backwards. "You are one sick son of a bitch."

"You're using your son to catch me and you call me sick. Don't deny it, he looks just like you. I guess that's why I bought into it so easily. He's either a great actor or you're a lousy father because those eyes are what I see when I'm done with them."

Raylan stepped forward and slammed a left hook into the man's jaw. John crumpled hitting the concrete with a thud. He flicked the safety back on the gun that was still in his right hand and turned and steered Nate towards the parking lot.

Father and son walked back to the FBI van and were finally able to breathe or at least Raylan was, Nate appeared to be as calm as ever and the marshal wasn't sure if anything scared him anymore. "Do you not understand how dangerous that man was?"

"Yeah but you were with me, I knew you would protect me."

"I'm flattered," Raylan said with a sigh.

"We make a good team."

"Yes we do, but don't get any ideas," Raylan said narrowing his eyes. "I say we grab some lunch go home and watch some movies."

"Deal," Nate said his smile genuine.

Agent Timmons finally made his way up to the van. "How about a debriefing?"

"Tomorrow agent, I think we've had a long enough day already. I need to get him home so he can relax. I'll pick him up after school tomorrow and bring him to the office you can debrief him there."

"I'd prefer to do it this afternoon."

"Well, I'm telling you it's not going to happen. He's tired, he doesn't feel well and he had a man tell him he was pretty." Raylan argued.

"I think he just said my mouth was pretty, which is actually worse." Nate said looking tired.

"Okay, I'll be there at 3:30. You did great, you made a huge difference today and you should be a very proud father Marshal."

"Oh I am," Raylan agreed.

For his assistance with the gun toting clan and the traveling pedophile Nate got certificates, ball caps and official looking badges from both the ATF and the FBI. And then Raylan gave him his retirement papers declaring his undercover days were over. Nate met this decree with vocal disapproval but figured he was out of options anyway as undercover assignments for eleven year olds were in pretty short supply. But if he feared life would become boring he had another thing coming.


	6. Who Needs Enemies w Friends Like These

**Who Needs Enemies With Friends Like These**

Raylan had been trying to figure out a solution to his problem the entire drive but still hadn't found success. He was picking Nate up from a fitness club just north of the Harlan county line. There had been an early dismissal from school and Tim, who Nate had really taken to, had not only picked him up but had transported him down to this gym where the lead trainer was a martial arts instructor and did several Tai Chi classes as well. Raylan had insisted that Nate despite his health issues learn some self-defense tactics and the boy discovered that the gentle practice of Tai Chi helped him relax and focus. Since moving to Lexington he hadn't found Nate anyplace to practice but Tim came to the rescue at least for the day.

Nate was at an awkward stage; he was capable of being alone and legally allowed to do so, but Raylan was uncomfortable with his son being home alone for an undefined amount of time so he had enrolled him in the afterschool program. He had to be picked up by 5:30 which ensured that Raylan got out of the office at a reasonable time in order to pick him up. Art allowed him to bring Nate to work once a week right after school and after hours if necessary. Other than the undercover issues he had always been very well behaved and helpful while he was there. But with the early dismissal there was no afterschool care and he had been grateful for Tim's efforts, but it now had created a problem. The gym was not far from where Raylan was ultimately going and he had no time to take Nate back to Lexington nor could he leave him there as the facility was closing. So the kid was coming along for the ride and he could only pray that it would all end up okay.

Raylan pulled into the parking lot to see the instructor standing there with Nate next to him gym bag in hand. The man came around to the drivers' side window and smiled. "Sorry to be so rushed but my wife has child birth classes tonight and she gets cranky if I'm late. Nate did great, we worked on several things and I sent a couple of DVD's home with him to use. He can keep them as I want him to practice at least four times a week. He is more than welcome to come down here anytime, no charge."

"Well thank you for everything, I may take you up on that from time to time," Raylan said reaching out the window to shake the man's hand.

"Have fun?" he asked Nate as they pulled out of the lot.

"Yeah, it was great, he worked on my kicks and stuff that you wanted me to practice then we did a session of Tai Chi. I had rice for lunch, that's all he had."

"Are you hungry?"

"Not really, just tired. Why are we going south?" He asked as Raylan turned out of the parking lot.

"I have to stop by a friend's house before we go home. It shouldn't take long."

"That's what you always say."

"Yes I do say that from time to time but this time I mean it. You can just relax in the car."

"You always say that too," Nate complained.

"No I don't."

"Yes you do."

"Well the last time you didn't and it caused a big uproar so just stay in the car this time."

"Is this another gang of gun runners?"

"No, now that's enough just read a book or something."

"It's dark, I can't see." Nate argued.

"Then take a nap. You should be tired you were up at five." Due to his mother's early shift at the hospital Nate had become accustomed to getting up very early in the morning, a habit his body couldn't seem to shake. It had him up and ready for school in plenty of time but he often ran out of steam on the early side. Nate was curious and frustrated about the upcoming destination but the gentle motion of the car coupled with his early start and busy day began to rock him to sleep.

Nate opened his eyes and was disoriented wondering where he was and why he was still in the car when it had obviously reached its destination. He blinked several times and turned on the dome light to see a note balanced on the steering wheel. _STAY IN THE CAR!_ Nate yawned and looked out the window to see a house in front of him with few neighbors around. There were two other vehicles next to the car and plenty of lights on in the house. He strained to hear but was met with silence. He tried to read under the dome light but found the shadows too difficult to overcome. He then pulled his phone out and pulled up a game but it immediately beeped indicating a low battery. He blew out enough air from his mouth that his bangs jumped from his forehead. He was officially out of things to do.

Inside the house Raylan couldn't figure out Ava's gestures as she was tilting her head and making her eyes wide. But the reason became apparent soon enough as Nate came around the corner. He had entered the house so quietly they hadn't even heard him. He saw Raylan at one end of the table Ava standing nearby with a shotgun and a man he didn't know at the opposite end of the table a gun laying within reach.

"Now, I thought I told you to stay in the car," Raylan said his shoulders slumping ever so slightly.

"I got bored," Nate replied. "Besides, you said you wouldn't be long."

Ava looked from Raylan to Nate and back again and Boyd smiled. "Now this must be your boy Raylan, he looks just like you. He has your eyes both in color and intensity. Do you know that I was a friend of your mother when you were little?" Boyd asked turning towards Nate. Nate just shook his head. "As a matter of fact I even babysat you a couple of times. We played a rousing game of peek-a-boo before you got old enough for hide and seek. I almost didn't find you one time."

Raylan's eyes got wide and he cocked his head. "I don't recall any of that."

"You wouldn't have, you were busy marshaling. It was only a few times, but I will always remember his laugh. There is nothing more precious than a happy child. You know Raylan I am a firm believer in the fact that it takes a village to raise up a child and I am just pleased that I was a part of that village even if it was just for a brief time." Boyd said smiling. "Why don't you come on over here Nate and have a seat at the table."

Nate didn't move until Boyd began to stand up and Raylan moved his gun hand. "I'll sit over there," Nate said heading to the opposite side of the table away from Ava and her shotgun. He pulled out a chair just down from Boyd and felt his father's ire burn right into him. The mood in the room had shifted since Nate's arrival but nobody was quite sure where it had landed.

"Boyd you are not a part of any village that has to do with my child. And apparently we need to talk about how to follow directions," Raylan told his son, annoyance in his eyes.

"Yes sir," Nate replied meekly.

"Now Raylan you can't condemn the boy for acting just like his daddy. If I recall correctly you were a bit antsy yourself back in the day. After all, this boy is a Givens, and Givens tend to make some noise wherever they go. Is he aware of all the responsibility that goes with his surname? The burden he will have to bear? Have you discussed the dichotomy that is his bloodline?"

"Now is not the time for that conversation and to tell you the truth Boyd, I'm still known to be a bit antsy," Raylan said flexing his fingers. "It was great reminiscing but I think it would be best for my son to go back outside and wait in the car." Boyd's words had made Raylan very uncomfortable; the last thing he needed was Nate to start asking questions that he had no desire or intention of answering anytime soon.

"But I would love to catch up with him. Wouldn't that be fun Nate?"

"Well I would rather you didn't," Raylan said with a forced smile.

The tension in the room had amped up as each man stared the other down from their respective ends of the table. Nate and Ava looked at each other unsure of what they should do. They could all feel it coming and despite Nate willing it away Boyd reached for his gun. But he was still no match for Raylan's quick hands and suddenly Boyd tipped backwards blood quickly seeping from his shirt. Ava stumbled as the shotgun went off putting a hole in her dining room ceiling. Nate stood up and looked over at Boyd as Raylan marched over.

"You okay?" he asked Nate.

"Yes sir," he replied.

"Then sit down and call 911," he said his voice stern and no nonsense.

Nate pulled out his phone but found the signal weak. "I don't know if it will work, I only have one bar that keeps coming and going."

"Then use the phone in the kitchen," Raylan ordered.

He ran to the kitchen but when he pulled the handset off and wasn't sure what to think. "Dad there's no number pad, just holes in a circle."

Raylan looked up in confusion as Ava set the shotgun down. "It's a rotary dial; he's probably never seen one before."

"Stick your fingers in the holes and turn the dial," Raylan yelled.

Ava went to the kitchen and grabbed a towel from the drawer and found that Nate had figured out the antiquated phone.

"You did it, you really did it." Boyd was saying.

Nate knew Boyd would be dead if that's what Raylan had wanted but their old friendship must have come into play. Boyd himself even disputed the injury. "You must have missed on purpose."

"Sometimes you can get just a little off; it must be your lucky day." Raylan said looking back over at Nate who was looking at the hole in the ceiling where Ava had taken out a chunk of plaster. Once again just as it had been with the pedophile he didn't appear to be all that rattled with what had just happened. Raylan blew out a mouthful of air, still unsure how to feel about that. He had been told many times that he had ice cold water running through his veins and he was beginning to fear it was hereditary. Not that it was a totally bad thing, but it tended to take one into dangerous situations, which Nate at his tender age had already seemed to master.

It took a while for the ambulance to cart Boyd off and for all the necessary questions to be answered. Nate sat quietly through most of it but was more than ready to go when they were finally released. The car was silent and Raylan wasn't sure what to say or do about what had just happened.

"Do you want to talk about what just happened?" Raylan asked.

"Not really, I'm good."

"You're sure, because that could be quite traumatizing."

"Nope, I'm fine."

"Okay then let's shift gears. I want you to give me one good reason why I shouldn't stop this car right now and put you over my knee."

Nate swallowed hard gathering his thoughts. He had hoped the delay had lessened his father's anger but apparently it had only postponed it, as Raylan's face was deadly serious, his eyes a testament to his fury. "Cause the shoulder's not that big and it wouldn't be a safe thing to do. But really Dad," he backpedalled when Raylan wasn't the least bit amused; "you said you had to stop at a friend's house, how was I supposed to know everybody had guns. I mean that's just not normal and what did Boyd mean about being a Givens and the contradiction of my bloodline?"

"No changing the subject," Raylan said cursing the fact that his son had indeed understood what the word dichotomy had meant. He assumed Boyd had chosen it so that the conversation would remain somewhat over his head; but the attempt had failed miserably. He put his angry dad face on and turned to look at his son; "the fact of the matter is I told you to stay in the car; hell I even left you a note clearly stating your instructions. But could you manage to follow them? No not at all." He said answering his own question.

"I feel like I always have to wait. You don't know what it's like to wait forever and not know when you're going to get to leave."

"Oh you think I've never had to wait is that it? Well let me tell you I've waited plenty of times for Arlo while he was at the VFW. He would tell me to wait and wait I did every time."

"Every time?" Nate questioned.

"Well almost every time, I did leave once. I decided to walk home got about half way when a friend came by and drove me the rest of the way."

"What happened?"

"Hmmm?" Raylan asked after being lost in thought. "Not pleasant memories."

"Oh, was it bad?"

"What about 'not pleasant memories' did you not understand?" Raylan had never spoken much about his childhood and had no plans to share anything specific with his son. Arlo hadn't seemed to change a bit and Nate was no idiot, he could see the instability in his grandfather and that was more than enough knowledge for now.

"So why was everybody packing in there? I mean you said friends but that wasn't a very friendly situation." Nate asked changing the subject.

"Look Boyd and I go way back, we dug coal together at one time and Ava I knew from school."

"I wouldn't want to go to your high school reunion, it could be a bloodbath."

"Yeah, you're cute, you know that?"

"Yep, so why were you there tonight?"

"I'm supposed to be lecturing you, how did this get turned around?"

"Because I'm an incredible linguist."

"That you are," Raylan agreed. "Ava was married to Boyd's brother Boman."

"So where was he?"

"Dead, Ava shot him several months ago. Before you pass judgment he was abusive and she killed him in self-defense. Boyd came by uninvited and Ava was a little unsettled with what his plans might be."

"So she called you. And what are you getting in return; I mean I would think you could find safer sex than that."

"Excuse me?"

"I saw how she looked at you, there's something going on there. Whatever it's not like I care, a man has his needs. But she could have called the cops instead of you."

Raylan shook his head; Nate studied people just as he studied the written word. Everything was a project to him; something with information to be collected and assembled like a model. "Boyd wanted to talk to me and he knew I would come if he was with Ava."

"See everybody knows you're an item."

"We're not an item, would you just knock it off. Christ I don't know how you twist everything around. You are the one in the hot seat and I'm the one sweating."

"I'd prefer you to cool off but it's your choice."

Raylan shook his head and realized just how much his son was just like him. No wonder Art was so cranky.

Nate fell asleep not long after their conversation and was hard to stir when they got home. Raylan was glad at least the boy could sleep soundly despite what he had just witnessed. The clock read 1:55 AM when they finally got into the house. "Go to bed and I suggest that you let me wake you up for school instead of your usual five o'clock wake up."

"I have to go to school?" Nate asked.

"Yes you have to go, I have to work and you have to go to school. But I'll pick you up after you'll need to give your statement again. I'm sure you're getting good at them."

"Practice makes perfect," Nate said before he shuffled off to bed.


	7. Tested

**Tested**

It turned out that Raylan didn't have to pick up Nate the next day as his English teacher dropped him by so they could talk. She had called him earlier that day sounding exasperated so he agreed to meeting in person while Nate was relaying what he witnessed with Art.

Nate led the way off the elevator towards the marshal's office, Mrs. Simon trailing behind him. He pushed open the glass door and looked over at this father's empty desk and sighed; his teacher looking around at the glass bearing the five pointed marshal's star.

"Hey Tim have you seen my dad?" Nate asked.

"He stepped out for a minute but will be back shortly. Who's your friend?"

"This is Mrs. Simon, my English teacher."

"Tim Gutterson," he said standing up. "I'm guessing this isn't good?"

"A bit of both good and bad," she said smiling. "Nate is your father a marshal?" she asked continuing to take in the scene around her.

"Yep," he said looking over at Art who was giving him the 'here we go again' stare.

Finally Raylan's familiar gait appeared from the hallway. "Mr….Marshal Givens," the teacher began.

"Raylan or Mr. is fine."

"Well I'm Sonya Simon, Nate's English teacher. I'm sorry to bother you but I think it best we meet face to face."

"No problem, besides you saved me a trip. Have a seat," he said pulling up an extra chair. Before they could begin to discuss the issue at hand Art called out for Nate. "You have fun in there." Raylan called out as Nate departed.

"Did you already talk to him?" Nate turned and asked.

"Yes, earlier today, now it is your turn."

"Am I in trouble?"

"With me yes, with Art, well I would imagine that might come up in your conversation."

"But I didn't even shoot anybody," Nate argued.

Raylan just smiled and shrugged, "go on git," he ordered.

Nate turned and walked towards the inner-sanctum looking back a few times. He crammed his hands in his pockets and suddenly looked so small. Raylan had visions of Nate as a toddler laughing while playing with Boyd and it instantly made his smile fade.

"Um what did he mean he didn't shoot anybody?" Mrs. Simon asked.

Raylan refocused his gaze on the teacher who looked to be in her late thirty's long brown hair and serious look etched on her face that came from years of teaching. "Long story, but he speaks the truth, he didn't shoot anybody."

Tim tried not to laugh but couldn't quite pull it off.

"So young Raylan and I mean that with all sincerity," Art began as Nate took a seat. "Did I tell you to sit down?" Nate returned to his feet. "Okay you can sit. Do you have a problem with authority?"

"I suspect you already know the answer to that."

"Well enlighten me anyway."

"Sometimes," he replied quietly. "But he said he was at a friend's house, how was I supposed to know."

"How many of your father's friends have you met? Raylan marches to the beat of his own drummer but you my boy have your own band. You've been in Kentucky a short time yet here you are again. I'm just grateful you don't have a sidearm. Do you shoot?"

Nate nodded yes. "My dad takes me a couple times a month."

"Fantastic," Art answered dryly. "Who is she," he tossed his head towards the meeting outside.

"My English teacher, I was a bit cranky from lack of sleep."

"More trouble for you then I take it."

"Not my day."

"Well son, I like you, and I think you have a great future in front of you if you manage to live long enough, but I can't have you keep popping up in the middle of disaster."

"Now the whole pedophile thing wasn't my fault we scheduled that," Nate argued.

"True enough so we go back to having you in the woods when you weren't supposed to be and being involved in another shooting."

"At a friend's house after my dad picked me up, it was more of a personal deal."

"A deal, where you were told to stay in the car, per your father and your disregard to his request now pulled me into the middle of this mess, because when your father is in a mess I'm in a mess. And Nathaniel; I don't like being in the middle of a mess."

"Sorry," Nate said as he hung head which was his common response to hearing his full name.

"I think it would benefit us all if you could just listen to your daddy."

"And if he listened to you as well."

Art slowly blew out a mouthful of air amazed at how insightful this kid was. "That would be a miracle son."

**Back at Raylan's desk**

"Now Mr. Givens, Nate is very bright and I think that might be leading to some problems."

"Being smart is a problem?" Raylan asked.

"He gets his work done very quickly and then has nothing to do. I had all the kids pick out books from the shelf in my classroom for silent reading. Usually these books take a week or more for the kids to get through but Nate was done in two days. So I tested him on the story he read because I figured he didn't really read or absorb it; he got a hundred percent. So I had our reading teacher test him; it wasn't a state test so we didn't need to get your permission or advise you of it taking place."

"That's fine, what were the results?" Raylan asked leaning back in his chair having a good idea of what the answer would be.

"He was off the charts; the scale only goes up to the twelfth grade and Nate maxed that out. Had he ever been tested before?"

"Yes in Florida he was placed in a higher reading group after first grade and tested every year. It should have been in his records."

"I'll have to look more closely; I admit I didn't even pull his file. I was aware after his first few days that he has great command of the language but his reading comprehension is beyond mine. I had him read the same paragraph that I was and he was done first and could summarize it clearly and went on to tell me how the emotions of the characters might play out in the story."

"He knew all of his sight words before Kindergarten and was reading by the middle of the year. He can't do a lot physically so he reads all the time. He doesn't care if it is the back of a cereal box or an instruction manual if it has words he will be scanning them."

"Well I can't continue to keep things as they are. We aren't really equipped to have him in any special classes so one thing I will do is borrow other books specifically for him that are at a higher grade level and he can bring in some if he wants but I will have to approve them. Also, I discovered another boy, Tommy Morton happens to live just a few doors down from you and he could use some extra help. Tommy is nearly thirteen and has already been held back once; he is a great kid and really tries but it all comes so hard for him. I thought that maybe Nate could work with him, Tommy might respond better to a classmate than a teacher. Do you think Nate would be up for that?"

"I think Nate will be up for whatever I tell him," Raylan stated as Nate came out of Art's office and headed his way.

While Nate walked his teacher to her car Raylan sat back in his chair and sighed. He was still grasping this full time father thing. The part time role suited him well, he could work all the hours he needed without the guilt that he was ignoring his son plus he didn't have to worry about all the daily issues that he was beginning to discover were important. First thing he had come to realize was that he couldn't work late into the evening or all weekend long, nor could he jet off to other locales on a regular basis. He did have the one trip to Los Angeles, but he found that much of his attention was still focused on his son and how he was faring with the Mullen's. His whole life had shifted from focusing solely on the job to incorporating his career with full time parenting. Now he not only focused on warrants and fugitives, but homework and field trips. He feared he was lacking in both areas.

The next day at lunch Tommy Morton and Nate were summoned to Mrs. Simon's classroom. The sixth graders were grouped into several classes and each class changed rooms and teachers with each period but remained together as a group so both Tommy and Nate were together from homeroom till study group at the end of the day.

"Now boys I'm going to try something new with the two of you and I believe if you try hard it will benefit you both. Tommy, you and Nate live just down the block from each other did you know that?"

Tommy shook his head no that he didn't. "Well it is a stroke of good luck because I'm going have the both of you work on your homework and projects together. Now I've spoken to each of your parents and your other teachers who all think it's a great idea. You can spend you study group together as well as a few nights a week at your houses. It's a great chance to learn and become good friends. Now why don't you guys take your lunches and have a seat over there and get to know each other." Mrs. Simon said with a big smile.

Tommy and Nate looked each other over and headed to the seating indicated. Tommy was quite a bit bigger than Nate with shaggy brown hair and a perpetual look of confusion on his face. He wore jeans and a blue polo shirt. Nate's dark eyes were as intense as ever his stature smaller than his counterpart but that was pretty typical. He wore jeans as well and a light blue striped shirt that his mother had bought him the day she had died.

They ate in silence; Tommy his selection from the cafeteria and Nate his brown bagged choices from home. Finally Tommy spoke. "How come you don't buy your lunch?"

"Cause it looks like that," he said nodding his head toward Tommy's tray which held a variety of piles, none of which looked like any of the food groups.

"Yeah, that is true."

"So you live with your parents?" Nate asked.

"Yeah my dad works on an assembly line at a factory just outside town and my mom works part time as a receptionist at a doctor's office. She gets off in time to be at home for me after school. What about you?"

"I live with my dad," Nate said, it still sounding odd. There hadn't been much time set aside for adjusting as he and Raylan had been catapulted into a partnership as suddenly as it took that bullet to kill Nadine.

"What happened to your mom?"

"She died," he said quietly looking down at his shirt.

"Oh sorry. I know your new here, where did you move from?" Tommy asked pushing his food aside as planted his elbows on the table and looked at Nate.

"Florida."

"How come?"

Images swept through Nate's brain. He wanted to say; my mother was caught in a hail of bullets between the cartel and some thugs and she died instantly on her way to pick me up; guilt which will never let me go. My dad, bent on justice or perhaps it was just simply revenge, ordered the one he felt responsible out of Miami but he was forced to shoot said man when he didn't leave and that didn't go over well with his boss so he was transferred here. It was obviously a punishment as this was the very last place in the world his father wanted to be and since arriving back to the old stomping grounds things haven't gone all that smoothly and the body count was rising rapidly. But in the end he simply smiled and said, "job transfer."

"What does your dad do?"

Nate wanted to say anything but the truth because it seemed once he shared that knowledge it somehow got out of control. He opened his mouth unsure of what would come out of it when Mrs. Simon came to the rescue. "How's it going boys?"

"Fine," they answered returning to their lunches.


	8. Friends and Guns

**Friends and Guns**

Tommy had been watching out the window for the last hour waiting for Nate to come home. He had an idea in which house they lived because he already knew the rest of the neighbors. Finally a black car came up the street as Tommy turned to run out the front door he bumped into his mother. "What is the hurry?" she asked. "Is your new friend home? I'm so glad you have somebody close by that you can play with."

"Yeah sure Mom," Tommy said trying to get to the front door. By the time he made it both the Givens were gone. Now he had to knock on the door and hope he had the right house. He had always struggled with everything; he struggled with reading, writing, math, sports and making friends. He was a good kid but just seemed to say or do the wrong thing all the time. He made his way up to the front door and rapped his knuckles against the wood.

Nate set his back pack down while Raylan went to the table and set his gun and hat down. He ambled off to the bathroom and shut the door. Nate had been trained on how to respect a gun since he was old enough to understand English. He knew how to dismantle, clean and fire a gun and he knew that if he ever touched Raylan's gun without permission or supervision, punishment would be swift and severe. In all his years Nate had respected this, so Raylan never gave a thought to setting his weapon down unattended or leaving it loaded as he always did. In his mind an unloaded gun was 'damn near useless.'

There was a soft knock at the front door and Nate, as he was taught, asked who it was before opening it. "It's Tommy from school." Came the reply.

Nate opened the door and Tommy marched inside. "Hey I thought I would come over and say hi."

"Hi," Nate answered as he watched the boy walk past him into the house.

"I live in the yellow house just three down from here."

"Great, did you want to do any work tonight?" Nate asked.

"We could, I brought my book home and homework page too. Do you have yours?"

Nate opened up his backpack which was a disastrous mess full of papers of the past and present. "I have a different book to read, but we can work on yours," He said pulling remnants of important assignments to the top. Consumed by his paper trail he hadn't even noticed what Tommy was up to.

"Hey," Raylan shouted out as he came back down the hall.

Tommy jumped a mile. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry I just…I didn't touch it I swear I didn't. It's just I've never seen a handgun this close before." He stammered as he stood next to the table his hand inches from Raylan's gun.

Raylan looked at Nate his expression a cross between fear, anger and exasperation.

"I don't mind showing it to you son, but you have to ask first. Now who are you?"

"Tommy from school."

"Oh the one Mrs. Simon mentioned."

"Yes sir," Tommy said his face flushed with embarrassment. He looked over at the hat on the table and Raylan's badge still attached to his waistband. "You some kind of cowboy?"

"Yep he's a cowboy," Nate said snidely.

"I am a modern day cowboy also known as a Federal Marshal," Raylan explained looking over at his son. "Do you want me to show you the gun?"

Tommy's head bobbed up and down wildly. "Please."

"This type of gun is known as a .45 caliber Glock," he explained taking the clip out and giving the full price tour.

"You know his parents might not like you introducing him into the world of weapons," Nate said after Raylan finished.

"I've seen guns, my dad and uncle hunt. Have you ever shot anybody?" Tommy rambled

"A lawman never shoots and tells," Raylan said winking.

"Thank God," Nate said under his breath.

After eating at Tommy's house Nate had come back and joined Raylan who was working on some paperwork at the table. Nate was not masking the fact that he was clearly upset about something as he slammed his book down and flipped it open, nearly tearing the pages.

"Easy there son, I thought you got your work done when you were at Tommy's house."

"No we did his; every time I got started on mine he had a question."

"Is that what has you so upset?"

"No sir," Nate answered biting his words.

"Then what?" Raylan asked his voice soaring to higher octaves.

"He thinks you're some kind of cowboy hero…he's already objectified you." Nate said, folding his arms across his book and setting his chin down peering over his arms.

"Well I'm sorry about that," Raylan said pulling his head back his face showing confusion.

"I decided not to fill him in on your shooting the other night."

"Is that what's bothering you? Do we need to talk about it?"

"None of it makes sense Dad. This whole place is like another planet. A woman shoots her husband and then his brother shows up and she's scared so she calls her high school crush to come save her. I walk in and it's like the old west, gun on the table, your trigger finger itching, Ava with a shotgun pointed at some generic spot on the wall. I mean does any of that work anywhere else but here?"

"Maybe Texas," Raylan offered.

"What do you think Boyd would have done if he had the chance to shoot?"

"I don't know and that's why I made sure to shoot first. I wasn't going to risk you or Ava or myself to his whim."

"Who would have ever thought that moving from Miami to Kentucky would have made my life more interesting?" Nate said shaking his head.

Weeks went by with Tommy and Nate spending a lot of time together and Lynn, Tommy's mother even offering after school care to Nate. "Please, I can come home after school, then we can get all of our homework done early."

Raylan smiled at his son's request but denied it. "I think the afterschool program works out best for us right now."

"Maybe for you but not so much for me, I get bored."

"Then do your homework, you already told me you and Tommy get his done during study group so use your after school time to get yours done."

"It's because you feel I'm safer at school isn't it?"

The statement hit Raylan in the heart because it is exactly why he wanted his son in the program. He didn't genuinely feel that Nate was in danger but he very much liked the fact that he was behind locked doors in the afternoon. "I like picking you up from there, it gets me out of the office on time. Now I don't want to hear any more about it."

"It's not fair," Nate yelled.

"Hey watch your tone. I don't know why for whatever reason you think this is a democracy but here's a newsflash; it's not. Now I'm new to this full time single parent realm and I'm doing the best that I can here."

Nate just shook his head and whispered, "Nazi."

"Now you can go to your room," he answered calmly.

"Fine Herr father," he said stomping off and slamming his bedroom door.

Raylan sighed and was grateful for the knock at the door to break up his tension. He opened it and was pleasantly surprised to see Winona standing there. "Bad time?" she asked.

"No, it's the perfect time," he said stepping back to let her in.

"I need my backpack," Nate said reappearing.

"Nate this is Winona."

"As in your ex-wife Winona?"

"Yes as in my ex-wife."

"Pleased to meet you," Nate said shifting his backpack and extending his hand.

"Now he's Mr. Charming," Raylan commented.

"Of course I am, how can I not be charming to a pretty lady."

"Room, now," Raylan said pointing. Nate turned and tromped back down the hallway disappearing into his room once again.

"Wow, is he ever like you," Winona said as they both laughed.

"So I've been told," Raylan answered with an uneasy smile.


	9. Always Prepared

**Always Prepared**

"Do these pills have your name on them?" Tommy commented moving the bottles around on the counter.

"Yes they do." Nate said stepping into the kitchen.

"Is this why you don't come to gym class?"

"Pretty much."

"Are you going to die?" Tommy asked concerned.

"One day but hopefully not for a while, though some days I feel as if it won't be soon enough." Nate said pushing the pill bottles to the back of the counter. "I have some health issues that cause some problems."

"Is that why you look tired all the time?"

"Yep, here's your workbook, I put little marks by the ones you missed, and this one you got right but you spelled heard wrong. You have it herd like a group you need heard…hear with a d."

"Oh okay thanks. What's your first name; it doesn't say Nate on the bottle."

"Nathaniel, Nate is my nick name."

"Oh like Tommy and Thomas."

"Exactly."

"I wish I was smart like you."

"We all have our strengths and weaknesses"

"Thanks for not picking on me and being my friend." Tommy said.

"Same here," Nate said. The boys were waiting for Raylan who had to run a quick errand. Tommy's parents were out shopping.

Tommy made his hand into a gun and pretended to shoot. "I wish my dad would take me to the range sometime."

"You wouldn't shoot with one hand; the gun's too heavy. You would do it like this," Nate said pantomiming holding a gun with two hands.

"Does your dad always wear his gun?"

"Always."

"Does he have another one?"

"Yes but if he ever found out I had taken it out he would kill me."

Tommy looked disappointed but before he could say anything further someone knocked on the door. Nate looked concerned and put his arm out stopping Tommy, not too many people made social calls to the Givens household. He put his other hand up and placed his fingers in front of his lips and said, "shhh."

"Raylan, you in there?" Boyd called out. Nate kept his fingers to his lips. "I just want to talk to you for a minute. How's your boy, doing? I thought it would be good for him to see me alive and healthy."

"What's he talking about?" Tommy asked.

"Nate I just want to let you know I'm not mad at your daddy. He was doing the right thing by protecting you. I wasn't gonna hurt you or Ava though, you believe me right."

Nate moved to Raylan's bedroom and flipped over the trashcan and used it to stand up on so he could reach the top shelf of the closet and get the very gun that Tommy had been asking about. He brought the box down and set it on the bed opening the lid and taking out the weapon. He checked the clip to find it fully loaded with the chamber empty. He ensured the safety was on and took a deep breath. Tommy just stood there his mouth wide open; his eyes wild.

"Who is that guy?" he whispered.

"A friend of my dad's."

"A friend?" Tommy questioned.

"Yeah, it's complicated."

"I guess so, why does he want you to see him alive and healthy?"

"Long story," Nate said as he crept towards the front door where Boyd was still knocking.

Outside Boyd knew Nate was in the house and since he didn't see the car he figured Raylan wasn't around. He had no intention of hurting the boy as he just wanted to talk. This kid could be the key to a lot of things. He had hoped to nurture Nate's interest in his familial history as there was a lot for him to learn. But he knew Raylan would never allow any type of relationship but Boyd thought if he could just have a brief conversation he could perhaps build some kind of rapport and peak the boys interest in his heritage. But a car entering the driveway postponed all of his plans.

"Boyd what are you doing at my house?" Raylan asked as he tipped up his hat.

"Why it's just a social call Raylan." Boyd answered with his signature smile.

"Well here I'm am, so let's socialize."

"You're not going to invite me in? Why where are your manners? Have you been gone so long you have forgotten how to be polite?"

Before Raylan could answer the door opened a crack revealing Nate on the other side. He peeked out his hand down at his side. "Go back in the house Nate," he ordered. Nate hesitated trying to get a better look at the action outside his front door. "Now Nathaniel," Raylan said taking a step towards the door. Nate quickly shut the door. He looked at the gun in his hand and then at Tommy. "I should put it back."

"What if something happens and you need it?"

"My dad is always armed, he'll handle it. We should get away from the door."

"I like it at your house, it's fun," Tommy said grinning. Nate just shook his head.

"Now if you want to socialize you know where you can find me and it is not at my home; my private life is off limits as is my son. So I won't be telling you again to stay away." Raylan explained as he stood near his front door wondering what his son was up to.

"Well now, you have forgotten good etiquette. I guess I won't stay where I'm not wanted. I just wanted the boy to see that I was okay."

"I don't think he was all that worried," Raylan assured.

"Well you pass on my greetings anyway," Boyd said returning to his car.

Raylan watched Boyd pull away and opened the front door to see the boys like deer in a headlight. "What's up fellas?"

"Nothing," they mumbled.

"What's behind your back," he asked his son. Nate made a face indicating he had no idea what his father was talking about. "Let's see," he asked reaching out towards his son.

Nate took a step backwards. Raylan was quickly losing patience; he had used most of it with Boyd and the well was nearly dry. "I'm not asking you son."

Nate brought his hand around complete with gun. "I wanted to have it just in case, I have the safety on."

Raylan sighed. He looked at his son who was pointing the barrel down at the floor as he had been taught and he looked terrified. "I can understand that. Did you keep the front door locked?"

"Yes sir, until I opened which I only did because I heard your voice."

"You shouldn't have opened it then. I can take care of myself. Is there one in the chamber?"

Nate shook his head no. "Why was he here?"

"I really don't know," Raylan said wondering the very same thing. "Tommy you had better head home now…and Tom you might not want to mention this to your parents."

"Yes sir," he answered taking one last look at the firearm in Nate's hand as he departed.

"Have a seat kiddo," Raylan said pointing towards the couch. He stepped over and took the gun away and checked to ensure the chamber was clear and then set it down on the table.

"How long was Boyd out there before I showed up?"

"I don't know maybe five minutes."

"And in those five minutes did you ever think of calling me?"

"Um, I guess not." He admitted.

"That needs to be your first step, you call me and then we can go from there. But I am glad you didn't unlock the door and you stayed hidden and I don't even have a problem with you getting the gun out, but you remember what I always tell you."

"Yes sir; don't have it if you're not going to use it."

"Do you think you could have used it?" Nate's face contorted into something unreadable causing Raylan to look closely. "Well?"

"I think so." He said without conviction.

"There's no thinkin' about it son, you have to know it."

"Do you think Tommy can keep a secret?" Nate asked changing the subject.

"I imagine he will if he ever wants to come back over here. He looked quite fascinated with the gun; I think I might need to have a little talk with him. Curiosity and guns are rarely a good mix." Raylan said in all seriousness.


	10. Spanning the Generations

**Spanning the Generations**

"Hey Tommy my dad texted that he was back home, so I'm going to head out." Nate said grabbing his coat from the chair and putting it on.

"Okay, I'll keep working on my diorama," he said with a grin.

"Yeah it looks great, take your time on it and you should get an A."

Nate made his way skirting the edges of his neighbor's lawns on his trek home. He opened the door and his mouth dropped open as Arlo stood front and center in the living room. "Does my dad know you're here?" He said eyeing his grandfather suspiciously.

"Who do ya think dragged me in?" Arlo responded his hand stiff at his side slightly behind his back. "Stuck here all day waiting, bored to no end."

"Yes I know he's here, and before you ask don't; it's complicated." Raylan answered his back to them both.

"Are you also aware that he is holding a gun?" Nate calmly added as Raylan spun around his gun out and aimed at Arlo.

"Come over here Nate," Raylan ordered.

"Sure just don't shoot me," he retorted as he quickly shuffled over towards his father.

Once Nate was next to him, Raylan ordered Arlo to put the gun down which he did ever so slowly, carefully watching his son. "So what's the plan?" Raylan asked.

"For me to shoot you in the leg, Bo wants to take you alive," Arlo was saying as Raylan unloaded a round just skimming his father's arm. Arlo screamed like a wounded animal and Nate after initially being startled raised his eyebrows to new proportions and knew there were some good stories his dad needed to share with him about his grandfather.

Raylan never taking his eyes off of Arlo asked, "then what happens? Nate will you please go and get me some bandages and so forth from the hall closet."

"But I want to hear," he protested.

"Do as you're told," Raylan stated his eyes still glued to his father who was bleeding all over the couch where he had fallen backwards.

Nate made a discernible noise that sounded like a snort and headed off down the hall and began to rummage for whatever might get his grandfather to stop staining the living room red. He could hear voices but nothing he could understand. He loaded up with all that he could find and headed back to the scene of the crime when there was a knock at the door. He stopped dead in his tracks and looked at his father who put his hand up palm towards him indicating he should stop. Raylan walked over to Arlo and grabbed his gun which was lying on the floor and tucked into his back waistband. "Who is it?" he yelled towards the door.

"Tommy, I thought I heard a gunshot I was wondering if your friend was back?"

"No Tommy, that was just a car backfiring, you need to go back home now," Raylan yelled through the front door.

"Is Nate okay?"

"He's just fine," Raylan answered tilting head to indicate that Nate should answer.

"I'm fine, it was just a car."

"Okay then, text me later then Nate."

"Okay I will," Nate shouted in return.

"I'm going to patch Arlo up while you try and clean this mess up." Raylan stated.

"I've had first aid how come I don't get to fix him up?"

"Cause I'm never leaving you alone with him even for a second. Now get some rags and use cold water."

Nate scowled but went off to find some cleaning products. Each Givens was busy with their task, cleaning, attending and mending that nearly a half hour had passed. Nate finished and went to dump his bucket in the tub. "Looks good, you'll even have a cool scar." He told Arlo who was perched on top of the toilet.

"I already have plenty of scars."

"Don't we all," Raylan said looking his father in the eye. "Nate I left the ace bandage in the living room can you get it for me. Nate nodded and headed back to the living room.

"He's a good kid that one, better than what you deserve," Arlo commented after Nate departed.

"Better than what you got?" Raylan asked tilting his head as he looked up.

Nate had grabbed the bandage and was returning to the bathroom when he heard the door jiggle and then open revealing two men who looked like classic back alley killers. The bald one aimed his gun at Nate and gruffly asked, "where is he?"

Nate for one of the first times in his life was speechless. He wasn't particularly afraid he just couldn't make his mind move forward. His eyes roved over the two intruders as they stood still with their intimidating demeanor projecting across the room.

"Drop your guns fellas," Raylan ordered quietly as he entered the room. Nate had frozen in his tracks as Raylan quickly made his way towards the gun toting intruders. They made the mistake of lowering their weapons for a moment giving the marshal the opportunity he needed. In seconds both men were dead or dying on the floor, blood pooling around them.

"Now I am not cleaning that up too," Nate stated a frustrated look on his face.

"Go over to the table and sit down," Raylan ordered calmly.

"What are you going to do?"

"Call the coroner."

"Good plan." Nate responded appearing unfazed by what he had just witnessed.

A few minutes later flashing red and blue light began to decorate the street. Arlo had his shirt back on with the bullet hole taped together and was trying to look casual while Nate was being shooed back into his bedroom by Raylan. They couldn't shut the front door because one body was blocking the way. People in varying uniforms began to mill around and Tommy was back at the door again.

"You can't tell me it was more backfires marshal cause I can see the bodies, what happened?" Tommy asked.

Raylan paused blew out a mouthful of air and screamed for Nate who came rushing from his room. "What?"

"Take Tommy to your room and lie about what happened here." He whispered directly into Nate's ear.

"Okay," Nate said enjoying being in the middle of this adventure.

Raylan had Tommy go around and come through the garage door so he wouldn't disrupt the crime scene. The two boys headed off to the calmer confines of Nate's room. "So dude what happened?"

"Bad guys picked the wrong house, that's all there is to it," Nate explained keeping it light and simple, smiling as he lied.

"Were they trying to rob you?"

"I really don't know what their intentions were," Nate answered truthfully.

As Tommy thought about that his phone rang. "Dang it's my mother," he said as he pushed the button to answer. He listened for a minute and then nodded and said, "yes ma'am." He disconnected and slid his phone back in his pocket. "I gotta go, try not to get shot."

"Will do," Nate replied glad that he didn't have to explain any more especially since he didn't know any more. "See ya," he said as he was guided back through the house.

Before he would return to the sanctity of his room he was snatched up by an investigator who wanted his statement. Raylan looked over and covered the room in four strides. "He needs his parent present."

"No, not really, but you can stay," the man said. "What happened son?"

"Those two guys walked into the house with their guns drawn and then my dad came into the room. They raised their guns and he shot them, end of story."

"Well that seems rehearsed."

"No it's not rehearsed it's just that I'm really good at giving statements and I've whittled it down to the basics without any extra melodrama. No I don't know who they are or what they wanted all I know is that I was fearful for my life."

"How old are you Nathaniel?"

"It's Nate and I'm eleven."

"Are you done with him, I'd rather he not be in here," Raylan said as the bodies were still present.

"Sure, if need anything else we'll be in touch."

"Go back to your room, finish your homework and then go to bed."

"Dad..."

"Please don't argue with me," Raylan begged.

"Thanks for not hesitating." Nate said.

Raylan looked at his son's face and allowed for a small smile. "You saw my words in action, don't have it if you're not going to use it; hesitation kills."

The next morning brought a whirlwind of activity. Raylan was relieved the bodies were gone but found Nate standing over the taped outlines of where they had fallen; the bloodstains still thick and taunting, not allowing anyone to think that perhaps they had dreamt it all. Arlo's color was better but Nate looked exhausted, dark circles under his eyes. He often had those as sleep wasn't always easy for him but they seemed much more pronounced this morning.

"Tough night kiddo?"

Nate merely raised his eyebrows, "did you really just ask that?"

"Stupid I know. How do you feel?"

"Like crap."

"You need to eat something."

"Not hungry."

"Eat anyway. I need you to go to school, I don't want you at the office with everything going on and I'm not comfortable leaving you at home. Do you think you can make it?"

"What difference does it make; I won't feel any better in bed or on the couch."

Raylan looked down at his son and smiled at Nate's efforts to deal with the difficulties of his life. "We need to talk to your doctor about some new pain meds."

"They never work," Nate replied.

"We need to find some that do. Do you want to talk about last night?"

"Who were those guys?"

"I think they work for somebody that has some kind of issue with me."

"Who and what, and was Arlo on their side?" Nate asked looking at his grandfather.

"Arlo is always on his own side," Raylan said glaring at his father. "Look this goes back a few years and is…"

"Complicated, I know everything is always complicated."

Raylan softened his eyes and looked at his son. "I'm sorry this happened, it's not fair, you already have enough to worry about without gun toting strangers showing up at all hours."

"Well it does provide a distraction."

Nothing more specific was forthcoming from the powers that be and Nate found himself looking at the world with a suspicious eye. He couldn't even trust his grandfather and his own father's past was full of dark shadows that had only begun to reveal themselves.


	11. Medicinal Mayhem

**Medicinal Mayhem**

Time passed with Raylan able to keep the violence from work at work and the disasters that followed Arlo far away from his son. His relationship with Ava had been short and sweet and was now over taking with it complexity and confusion that he could ill afford right now. He had had a few run-ins with Gary as he and Winona continued to cross paths, but other than that his calendar had been clear for his son. He had taken him to his new specialist who had decided more tests would only be uncomfortable and wouldn't give them any more information than they already had. They discussed speaking with a pain doctor but in the end decided not proceed down that avenue yet. Treating children for pain was tricky and difficult so with a brave face Nate decided to try a new medication that may or may not work for him but would take months to find out.

"You can try the other drug too," Raylan said as the doctor sat there listening.

"But it's a steroid and I don't want that."

"He has maintained his weight and that's great." The doctor said looking at Nate's chart. Whether it was the limited diet, the disease itself or just genetics, Nate had always been small for his age taking after Nadine who had been a very petite woman. The doctor continued, "He's right these are powerful drugs and the side effects are something to think about it. Nate you have tolerated your current meds well and you can try to add another to help with your discomfort."

"It's not discomfort it's pain." Nate clarified.

"I'll give you a prescription and you can try it, if you have negative side effects then you can discontinue. I'm going to start you at a lower dose and up it slowly, that may help. The two new meds are very different and have different side effects so you need to read up on each one so you know which one might be causing problems. This one he'll take once a day and this one will be when the pain is intense. It will turn your urine blue so don't panic when you see blue in the toilet."

"Kind of like the one tried that turned my pee orange but did nothing for the pain?" Nate asked.

"Something like that except hopefully this one will work for you. But only use it as needed when the pain is the worst. I'm only prescribing you a few to see if they actually work."

"What does the first one do?" Raylan asked.

"It should help calm his never endings. I'm hoping it can take enough of the edge off that he can have a much easier time."

"I think it's worth a shot," Raylan said taking the two slips of paper. "This is the one we decided for sure right?" Raylan asked.

"Yes," the doctor nodded.

"Okay, let's make your next appointment and go do something fun."

"I need some new clothes," Nate said as they stood at the receptionist's desk.

"But shopping's not fun," Raylan countered.

"I know but neither are pants that are too short for me."

"You grew?" Raylan asked surprised.

"A little bit," Nate admitted.

"Yeah, I suppose you have," Raylan said looking at the jeans that were beginning to creep up Nate's ankles.

"A few new long sleeve t-shirts and another hoodie would be good too. It's still cold around here."

"Well, sure we can. I know the weather is a bit colder than you're used to. Wait until your first winter; you'll get to see snow."

"Gee, I can't wait."

"It will be warming up very soon, don't worry," Raylan assured.

With a bag full of long sleeve shirts a couple of hoodies they headed to the pharmacy and then home; Raylan grateful for his federal based health insurance. Even so he had to allocate a certain sum of his check to cover the cost of Nate's healthcare. He had no problem with it at all he just wish his boy could feel better and he hoped maybe these new magic pills might give him some relief.

"Okay this one says take on an empty stomach and this one says take with food." Raylan said looking at the labels.

Nate was scanning the long print outs that come with each new prescription. "This one says the side effects are weight gain, dry mouth and fatigue and this one says dizziness, confusion and hair loss."

"Well you may do just fine and not suffer from any of the side effects or maybe just one temporarily."

Nate looked up at his father horrified. "So they may make me feel a bit better but I'll be fat, stupid and bald."

Raylan couldn't help but laugh but soon realized that his son's concern wasn't a joke. "I know this is a pain in the ass, but one day we will find the right combination and you'll get some relief."

"Are you a betting man?" Nate asked.

"I'll bet on you any day," he said pulling his son close.

Nate embraced his dad thankful for the solid foundation. He generally dealt well with everything but it always caught up with him at some point where he just needed to vent, cry and feel sorry for himself before he got back to the reality that is life. Since it had been Nadine who had held Nate's hand in the most difficult times Raylan had never been put on the spot as the emotional caregiver but he surprisingly enough he had been up to the task; fatherhood does change a man in every aspect.


	12. Meet and Greet

**Meet and Greet**

Raylan had been heading to Harlan much more than he had ever envisioned. It seemed to cast its net northward and caught him every time, entangling him into its ever tightening restraint. He wasn't quite sure how he was supposed to feel about being back in his old stomping grounds, but he wasn't as revolted as he had thought he might be. His relationship with Ava had ended and that was for the best. It had caused as much trouble as Raylan had expected and why he had allowed it to begin in the first place only showed his weakness. Nate seemed to like her and asked about her when she stopped coming to Lexington. "We have decided to go our separate ways," Raylan said setting his coffee down one morning.

"How come…oh let me guess, you're still friends. Right?"

Raylan took another swallow of the bitter brew giving him time to think of an answer. He had never given much thought to the brevity of many of his relationships since Nate hadn't been in his daily life. But now he realized he would have to approach things differently. He couldn't drag his son through the women in his life and not expect it not to affect the boy.

"Well it wasn't destined to last and I apologize if I gave you the impression it was. I guess I shouldn't have brought her up here."

"No big deal, it's just that I would like a heads-up you know. Mom wouldn't introduce me to anybody unless they had been dating for several weeks and she thought he was going to stick around for a while."

"Oh," Raylan said setting his coffee down hard enough that it splashed over the top. He had never thought about Nadine having relationships.

Nate smiled reading his father like a book. "Never thought about her having fun huh?"

"No, it's not that," Raylan said trying to cover his surprise.

"Sure it is. She only had a few steady boyfriends, the rest she kept me out of the loop on. I never saw strange men running around the house."

"Well that's a good thing. I guess I should be a better example."

"Whatever, I have to catch the bus," Nate said successfully rolling his eyes to new proportions.

Full time fatherhood was definitely going to be a learning experience, with many aspects that he was going to struggle with. He had stepped into a whole new world and there were no instructions on how to deal with it. Nate needed him and Harlan was calling and he quickly needed learn how to balance the two. But seeing people he had hoped to never cross paths with again only caused mild disruption to his life and he felt somewhat empowered by his badge and gun and the term federal marshal in front of his name. He had gotten out; made something of himself and could now hold it high over those that succumbed to their natural habitat.

"Well Dickie and Coover how are you boys?" Raylan asked with a big smile as Dickie was joined by his younger brother outside their home.

"What are you doing around here? Last I heard you was in Florida shooting people that were just tryin' to eat." Dickie said as Coover examined the gun he was holding that he had just been using to shoot rats.

"Well I was, but now I'm back here cleaning up what needs cleaning. Do you boys need any of that?"

Dickie unsuccessfully tried to stifle a laugh. "Oh Raylan you always were good for a laugh." He drawled.

"Well that gun there is no laughing matter, now Coover if you don't put it away right now Deputy Marshal Brooks has permission to shoot you." Raylan answered looking back at Rachel.

"And that won't be a problem if you'll move just a step to your right or left," Rachel said taking her gun from its holster.

Raylan took one big step to his left while keeping his eyes on the Bennett's.

"Hey now boys is that anyway to welcome a person," Mags said appearing. "Well it's Raylan Givens, now it has been a very long time since I've last seen you."

"Yes it has Mrs. Bennett," Raylan said lifting his hat.

"You've been gone too long to call me Mags?" she asked.

"I didn't want to presume."

"Well come on up to the store. You two go off and find something productive to do," Mags ordered her sons.

Raylan followed her up to the store meeting Loretta on the way. "What's her story?" Raylan asked once they were inside.

"Ah that's Loretta McCready; her daddy's workin' down south so she's staying with me."

"Well that' mighty kind of you."

"Not really, I enjoy having her around. Not having any daughters myself it is nice to have a girl around. Now how old is that boy of yours?"

"Hmmm, oh he's eleven now," Raylan said.

"Nathaniel Ray am I right? He had your eyes if I recall."

"Yeah, there's no denying my fatherhood to that boy," Raylan said fishing a picture out of his wallet.

"Oh my, he is a handsome one. I remember keepin' an eye on him from time to time when Nadine needed a hand. He would run around the store and help me stock things. He was just the tiniest little thing."

This, once again was the first time Raylan had heard someone watching his son outside of the family. "I didn't know that you had watched him."

"Oh my yes, several times. You were a busy man and up in Lexington and beyond, it's hard being a single mom. I was thrilled to do it too; you could tell he was going to be so smart. There was so much depth to his eyes. Is he smart?"

Raylan smiled proudly, "yes he is very smart."

"See I just knew he would be. You should bring him down here so I can see him. I bet Loretta would like to meet him too."

"Well I just might do that," he answered.

"Now tell me again why I'm spending my Saturday in Harlan?" Nate asked as they pulled into the parking lot.

"Because I want to show you off," Raylan said spying Loretta in the middle of a crowd of kids.

"It's Five-O," one boy said as they scattered.

Nate smiled, "guess you won't be going undercover anytime soon."

Raylan returned the smile and shook his head at his son. "Hey there Loretta how are you today?"

"Well I was better before you scared all my customers away. Who's the kid?"

"This is my son Nate, Nate this Loretta."

"Hey," Nate imparted while Loretta looked him up and down.

"Little puny isn't he?" Nate looked himself up and down. "How old are you?"

"Eleven," he answered. "I'm not that small."

"Well you got a long way to go to be as tall as your daddy. What brings you back here other than to ruin my day?"

"I wanted to give you this," Raylan said handing her the cell phone he had bought earlier that day. "I programmed my number in there and I want you to call me if you find yourself in any trouble. I'll drop everything and come get you. Do you understand?"

Loretta took the phone and examined it as if it might bite. She looked at Raylan, disbelief on the edges of her face. "You think I'll be in trouble?"

"Just sayin' that if you are you can call me."

She looked over at Nate and seemed to appreciate the sincerity on his face. "I can give you my number too if you want it." He offered.

"Okay," she whispered. She opened the phone and together they figured out how to store contact information and typed in Nate's number. Satisfied with the exchange they parted ways with Raylan leading Nate into the store.

"This is a real store?" he asked, used to the large grocery and box stores of the metropolitan areas.

"Yes, you don't remember working here?" Raylan joked.

"What?"

"Oh Raylan you brought him. Hi Nate, do you still go by Nate like you did when you were little?" Mags asked as soon as they entered the store.

"Yeah," he said looking around.

"I was a friend of your mama's, I felt just horrible when I heard what had happened to her. Did you know that I used to watch you sometimes?"

"Doesn't seem to be that uncommon," Nate answered thinking of Boyd and his babysitting duties.

"You sure grew up handsome and your daddy says you're smart too."

"I get by," Nate said looking around.

"Come on over here and get yourself a piece of candy."

"I can't, but thank you anyway."

"I'm sure your daddy will let you have one piece."

"It has nothing to do with me, dietary restrictions. Nate has some health issues."

"I'm sorry to hear that, how serious?"

"Depends what day it is," Nate said as Coover walked in.

"You're back," he said his voice steeped in disappointment as he looked at Raylan.

"Hey don't you take nothing you aren't going to pay for," Mags snapped at her youngest son.

"Who's that?" he asked nodding towards Nate.

"Why that's Nate, Raylan's son. Don't you remember him from when he was little?"

Coover was quiet as if he was trying to summon the distant memory to prove to his mother he wasn't a total idiot, but it became apparent nothing was forth coming.

"Coover you in there?" Dickie yelled coming into the store. "Come on man we got stuff to do." He paused seeing the marshal. "Raylan what brings you back here so soon?"

"Just visiting with your mother," Raylan said.

Dickie finally noticed Nate standing there. "What's with the kid? He ain't yours is he?"

"Yes Dickie this is my progeny, I take it you don't remember him either from the old days."

"Oh yeah, his mama would drop him off once in a while. I recall one day he threw a small can of olives at Coover and hit him in the knee cap," he chuckled. "Had a pretty good arm too."

"Hey I remember that, you told him to do that, then you both laughed," Coover said pulling the memory from deep within the recesses of his brain.

"I'm pretty sure I was a toddler," Nate reminded.

"Meaning?" Coover said.

"Meaning I think I should be absolved from an act that occurred nine years ago when I was two."

"What?"

"He said you need to get over it you big sissy," Mags said.

"Oh yeah well you want to know a story, I'll tell you the story of why Dickie walks like he does…you want to hear that story," Coover blabbed. spitting as he did.

"Coover I don't think that is an appropriate tale to tell my son," Raylan said.

But Raylan's warning had no effect as the man launched his tale. "They was playing baseball on opposite teams Dickie was the pitcher and Raylan had pissed him off by gettin' two hits off of him so when he came up the third time he threw right at your daddy's head. He dropped like rock; the two teams swarmed the field and while your daddy was still on the ground he took a bat to Dickie's knee. He hit him so hard his knee went the wrong direction…and he ain't never walked right since." Coover finished with a flourish.

"Charming," Nate said nonplussed. "So you're telling me since I'm a Givens I have a thing for knees, that there is some kind of genetic link?"

"Huh, no I was just telling you something."

"Can I talk to you two fellas outside right now? Nate you stay here," Raylan said herding the Bennett's outside.

The three men trooped outside as Nate shrugged his shoulders at Mags.

"Now Coover what the hell was that about?"

"I was just tellin' a story."

"One that he did not need to hear, that isn't the kind of thing you go around telling a child."

"Well with all due respect Raylan it was my knee and the kid didn't seem to be the least bit bothered about it – or is that you didn't want your boy to know an angry and violent man you are. Maybe that is what is genetic," Dickie stated.

"Why does everybody insist I'm so angry," Raylan said looking at the Bennett boys.

"Probably has something to do with being raised by Arlo," Dickie said.

Back in the store Mags smiled at Nate and handed him a bottle of water. "Can you have this?"

"Yes ma'am, thank you." Nate said taking the beverage. He uncapped it and took a big drink.

"Boy you look like your daddy. But I do see some of your mama in there. She was such a pretty girl, you have her lips and chin, not sure about your nose, but you sure got your daddy's eyes and hair," she said with a laugh at Nate's thick brown mop that always lightened up in the summer sun. "All in all a great mix."

"Thank you," Nate said embarrassed.

"She had such hope for you; she hated leaving you here or anywhere in Harlan."

"Then why did she?"

"Because she needed to, your daddy took a lot of trips back then and daycare isn't cheap." Mags said her eyes betraying the thoughts she kept internal.

"And what else," Nate asked picking up on it.

"You are a smart one, you read people like a champ. I can't say for sure it's just my opinion."

"Well what's your opinion," Nate asked looking back at the door hoping Raylan wasn't going to come through it anytime soon.

"Well Harlan never forgets her sons and daughters and you being a part of it even at an early age is better than not at all."

"What's that mean?" Nate asked his head whipping back in the direction of the door. "What do you mean Harlan doesn't forget? Was she setting something up, was she trying to protect me?"

Mags gave a slight smile just as Raylan walked in alone. "Some things just never change. Mags it's been great, what do I owe you for the water?" he asked noticing the bottle in Nate's hand.

"On the house, you need to bring him around more often Raylan; I would love to see him."

"Well, we'll see what I can do about that. Come on kiddo, Helen wants to see you."

Nate kept looking back at Mags as he followed his father to the door. He needed to know more about what she had meant, she had wanted him to understand something, but he just hadn't gotten enough to figure it out.


	13. Schools Out For The Summer

**School's out for the Summer**

Raylan had been so wrapped up in the Crowder clan's issues as well as his quick trip to Miami that he had lost all sense of time. He had been dumbfounded by the offer to return to his old Florida office. If it had happened a month earlier he would have surely jumped on it, but now – now it just didn't feel right. And he couldn't believe Art was so eager to get rid of him.

"So you're ready to ship me back so easily?" he asked his boss one morning.

"I figured it was what you wanted, return to the big city. Nate could go back to what he considered his home. You know it's not just you that I've been dealing with."

"Oh, so now you not only are done with me, but my son as well. I didn't see any complaints when you stepped up to keep him while I went to Miami, but now you don't like him anymore?"

"No, it's not that, I love that kid, he's great, but, like you he is a gigantic pain in my ass. I spend more time with him than I do my own wife and that's because he is constantly in here due to one adventure or another that went awry. He reminds me just a bit too much of you."

"Well he always says he wants to be like me," Raylan said with a smile.

"Wants to? Wants to – Raylan he is you, just two feet shorter, but at least he hasn't shot anybody…yet. I'm too old for this shit. I take it you didn't share the job offer with him?" Art asked cocking an eyebrow.

"No, he wouldn't take the news of my declining the offer all that well. I'm actually surprised myself to tell you the truth. But apparently I don't mind being where I'm not wanted."

"Oh you're wanted; it's just that you come with so many issues that seem to trail behind you. That and the fact you have problems listening and separating common sense and the job at hand," Art said thinking of Raylan's relationship with Ava.

"It's just that suddenly this seems like the right place to be, that my background in Harlan is important. Knowing how holler living works, my ties to the community, it seems to make a difference."

"Oh it makes a difference," Art said sighing.

Raylan had thought of returning to Miami and how happy it would make his son, but all he could focus on was what he had accomplished in Harlan; helping Loretta out of the trunk of that car when she had been kidnapped made so much of it worthwhile. Also, his knowledge of what made Harlan tick, might just be the difference maker. He had a history with the people and the place in this corner of the world and that just couldn't be replicated. Also the thought of raising Nate on his own in the place that took Nadine just didn't seem right, like he was trespassing on something he had no part of. Kentucky was home, Kentucky was his, his and Nate's. Whether it made sense or not didn't matter, he had no plans to go anywhere soon.

Since they had moved to Kentucky in March, the school year was quick to end, causing Raylan to scramble in finding summer care for his son. He found a day camp forty-five minutes south of Lexington but Nate wasn't the least bit interested in the program. He attempted to cajole, beg, plead and coax his son to take on the challenge of the camp but Nate had no desire to take on the wild, even during the daytime.

"I don't want to!" he said for the tenth time.

"They have swimming, boating, fishing, nature walks, archery; don't you want to shoot a bow and arrow?"

"No, shooting my gun is fine; I don't need a bow and arrow. I hate the woods, insects and nature."

"Oh you do not. Look I need to have you somewhere this summer and this is the best thing I could find."

"Well it sucks. I want to stay at home. Tommy's mother is home around one o'clock every day why I can't I stay here until then and head to their house after she gets home?"

"Because you'll be at camp," Raylan said.

"Give me one good reason I should go to that stupid camp?" Nate asked his arms folded his face reflecting his frustration.

"Because I'm the dad and I said so."

"Well it's stupid and I'll hate it," the boy said spinning around and heading to his room.

"Well it's up to you if you hate it or not," Raylan called after him. "You could always go to camp Arlo and spend your summer in Harlan."

"I'm not a baby, I can stay by myself," Nate yelled back down the hallway

"I know you're not a baby but you are still too young to spend all day alone."

"Just cause people are intent on killing you doesn't mean I'm in danger and besides I'll be twelve in a few months."

"In five months," Raylan emphasized. "If you want to continue to talk about this then come back into the living room where we can have a civilized conversation."

"What's the point, you won't listen to me anyway," Nate yelled and then slammed his bedroom door.

Raylan was ever so grateful that Winona was on her way to brighten his evening. She had been around more and more and even though she had come around for some nighttime recreation she had yet to spend the entire night. They had discussed it and even though he was more than ready, she was still hesitant where Nate was concerned. Raylan having learned his lesson with Ava decided not to argue and followed Winona's lead on this one.

"Trouble in paradise," she asked upon her arrival. "You look a little stressed there darlin."

"Oh just an almost twelve year old who thinks he knows everything," he said before he went to explain his decision and the ensuing argument.

"Ah the camp debate; I bet you that once he gets going he'll change his mind and love it," she assured.

"Hmmm, I hope so."

Nate hadn't taken to camp at all, complaining all evening how stupid it was so in exchange for silence Raylan promised him that they would spend time together that weekend. He had a plan that he couldn't believe he hadn't thought of before. As a lawman he was much more aware of what went on around him and as a father who was a lawman he drilled these same things into Nate. But he had lapsed in one area and decided that on Saturday they would work on a certain survival skill.

After tracking Loretta down and pulling her from the trunk of her kidnapper it got Raylan to thinking of a father son activity, he couldn't believe he had never worked on a trunk escape plan. But little did he know the fall-out that would greet him on Monday.

"Mr. Givens I have some serious concerns regarding your son," Head Counselor Williams told him that afternoon. "According to your son he spent much of his weekend locked in a trunk and when he was asked how this happened he said you threw him in there."

"He told you all this?" Raylan asked.

"Well, Kevin his counselor overheard him telling another camper that he had gotten out of the trunk on his own. When he asked him to tell her more about it he clammed up so he sent him to me. I finally got him to tell me what happened."

"And he told you it was an exercise we were doing?"

"Yes, he said something about escape drills, but then he told me I just didn't understand and wouldn't say any more."

"Ms. Williams, I did have Nate climb in a trunk this weekend, actually two trunks and it was for an escape drill."

"Why in the world would you do that? Do you have any idea how dangerous that is?" she practically yelled.

"First of all I am a federal marshal and yes we do view the world differently and for good reason. In fact my reason for doing this was the fact that I pulled a fourteen year old girl from a pedophile's trunk not long ago. So yes I thought it was a good idea to teach my son to get out of a trunk, to face the darkness and be able to think clearly and do whatever he needed to get out of the dark confines of a locked trunk. And you know what, he impressed the hell out of me," Raylan said his voice getting louder and beginning to attract attention.

"I see, well it appears you have your reasons though I don't agree with your methods I'm glad I know what was going on."

"I assure you that he was never in danger, I was there the whole time and had the ability to get him out at any time. "

The conversation finally ended and Tim was just staring at Raylan. "Oh you've got to fill me in," he said smiling.

"What are we doing again?" Nate asked as Raylan pulled into the salvage yard.

Raylan didn't want to give Nate the details of Loretta's kidnapping so he had been vague as to the reason they were visiting the graveyard of cars. "I thought this would be an important thing for you to learn. You never know one day we may be taken hostage and they might stuff you in the trunk and I'll need your help so you'll need to know how to get out," Raylan explained.

"Right, whatever," the boy said rolling his eyes.

"Now first I'm going to put you in the trunk of our car. It has the emergency release so it shouldn't be too hard. But it will be dark and hot and small and you need to learn not to panic and keep your breathing even. I'll be right here the whole time and I won't leave you. If you get too scared and can't get out I will open it for you okay?"

Nate nodded and walked over to the trunk and waiting for Raylan to open it. Once the lid popped up he pushed his dad's hands back, declining the offer of assistance, saying he could climb in himself. He put one leg in then the other. Raylan once again reminded him to stay calm and that he would be right there. Nate got situated and then Raylan winked and shut the trunk. Raylan stood still and listened to his son moving around inside, he suppressed the urge to ask if he was okay. Less than a minute later the trunk popped open and Nate sat up with a smile.

"It took a minute for my eyes to adjust, I didn't want to flail around in there and get hurt," he said calmly.

"Well good for you that is very smart thinking. Do you think you could do it if your hands were tied?" Raylan asked bringing out his handcuffs.

Nate smiled. "Bring it on!"

"That's my boy."

And so it went, they did it several times until it was no longer a challenge. They then moved on to an older model. "Okay this car doesn't have the release so you know what you have to try and do?" Nate shook his head no. "You have to try and kick the brake light out, it won't be easy and honestly I'm not sure if you're strong enough. But you are small enough that you can maneuver your body around and get some good leverage and push with your feet. Do you want to try it?"

"Yes sir," Nate said biting his lower lip.

"It won't be as easy and don't worry if you can't get it. If it happened for real you would have a lot more adrenaline."

"I want to try it. What about the trunk release. I mean if there is one for the driver it has to have a cable to the trunk right?"

"Ah. such a smart boy, true enough, it would and probably worth a try if you can find it. Pull up the carpet and feel around for it on the driver's side. But be aware it will be a wire cable and not easy to hold and pull. I don't want you to cut your hand."

"Okay, duly noted," Nate said resolutely.

"Now I have the latch blocked so it won't really catch and it will never be truly locked. I also checked and it does have a driver side release that I already checked and it works, plus the backseat goes down so you can get out that way."

"Well then latch the trunk," Nate said.

"No, I think we'll stick with it the way I have it set up. Safety first times three," Raylan said smiling. "Now get on in there."

Nate climbed and nodded as Raylan closed the lid on him and plunging him into darkness. He wiggled around and found the seam of the so called carpet and pulled it up. The vehicle was older and some of the carpet crumbled into tiny pieces as he tugged on it. He felt the cable but found that his father had been correct in saying it wouldn't be easy to manipulate. He couldn't get a good grip on the thin cable and his sweaty hand just slipped with his efforts. He felt around for any kind of tool that might be useful but came up empty. He then felt around for the tail light; his fingers felt the edge of the cover and though it was far from easy he eventually pried the back off exposing the wires. He pulled a handful of wires out and then maneuvered his body around so his foot was against the light. Nate then began to push hard and found there was some give to it. His foot was small enough that it fit inside the well but he feared if he tried to kick he would miss and hurt himself so he stuck with steady pushing against the red light. He finally heard a crack and found his toes were in the daylight. He kept at it but found the other piece stubborn and unyielding.

Raylan saw his son's toes briefly and heard his renewed efforts at the remaining taillight. He heard Nate shifting and grunting with his efforts and finally pulled the trunk open. "Great job kiddo," Raylan praised.

"I only got half of it out," Nate complained as Raylan helped him from the dark hole.

"Well that's enough for you to stick your hand out and draw attention and besides I bet if you kept after it you would have broken that part off as well."

"Then let me try Dad," Nate complained.

"No I think that's enough for the day. You did great."

"Not as good as I could have. I found the cable but you were right it was too hard to grasp." He said as he bent down examining the damage to the taillight. He began to pull at it with his fingers but found it still wouldn't budge.

"Nate leave it alone, come on let's get you home so you can shower and get something to eat."

The boy looked disgusted and looked into the trunk for anything that might have helped him in his efforts. He was still searching when Raylan pulled him away. "Time to go, be proud of your efforts son."

"But I didn't meet the objective," Nate complained.

"Sure you did, you could have stuck your fingers through there, maybe even your whole hand."

"But we don't know that and we don't know if I would have eventually kicked out the rest of the light because you wouldn't let me try," Nate said stubbornly.

"That's right; it was my call and I say you did enough, now let it go."

Nate crossed his arms and grudgingly and climbed into the passenger seat.

"So that was my weekend," Raylan finished the story with a sigh.

"Wow, so did Nate get over his tizzy about not meeting his goal?" Tim asked.

"Eventually, but it took a while. He wants to go back this weekend."

"You going to take him?"

"Nah, I'm afraid of the damage he might inflict to the car and himself. He can be a boy possessed when he wants to be."

"Hmm, wonder where he gets that from." Tim said smiling.


	14. About Today

**About Today**

His failure at escaping from the trunk didn't help Nate's mood despite Raylan encouraging words and now that he was several weeks into camp he found he hated it more than ever. He complained every evening, the heat, the bugs, the food, the ride, the other kids. He just wanted to stay in Lexington. He begged for a membership to the local pool promising he would spend the day there, but Raylan wasn't about to give in.

"Come on Dad, these kids have no use for a transplanted Floridian," Nate complained.

"Are all the kids from Lexington?" Raylan asked.

"They are from all around here, the surrounding counties."

"Well you're from here." Raylan said absent mindedly.

Nate realized that his roots were indeed local. The next week he mentioned his native origins and found that many of the kids suddenly looked at him differently; some refused to come near him while others feared not befriending him.

"What's your last name again?" A boy named Dayton asked.

"Givens," Nate answered.

"Oh Arlo Givens lives down the road from my grandma," Tate gasped. "He scares me."

"What was your mom's last name 'fore she got married Dayton asked.

Nadine had never married Raylan or any other man and her last remained Campbell until her death. It never was a decision for her to give Nate, Raylan's last name of Givens and it had never been questioned, but she had had her reasons.

"Campbell," Nate said slapping a mosquito off his arm.

Tate nearly tripped over his own two feet as he backed up. Dayton's eyebrows suddenly joined together as he inhaled. The boys looked as if they had seen a ghost leaving Nate at a loss. "What?" he asked.

"Nothing, how about we eat lunch with you today?" Dayton asked.

"Sure," Nate answered making a mental note to talk to his dad that night about exactly what connotations the name Campbell had.

"Kay, we'll see ya," Dayton said as he and Tate walked away.

"What ya tell him we'd eat with him for?" Tate asked after they were out of earshot.

"Cause I think it's better if we're nice to him, that's why," Dayton said.

Raylan had been hip high with the Bennett clan. The pot trade had kept them all busy and it looked as if there was a possible fraudulent check cashing going on as well. He also had to deal with Winona taking money from the evidence locker. Tension in Lexington and Harlan County was ratcheting up and it was not a good time for Nate to come home and start asking about his maternal grandparents.

"But Dad, they practically went cross-eyed when I told them Mom's last name." Nate said his eyes staring into Raylan's.

"Hmmm, who knows what the problem is. Stories abound down there."

"You said I should mention I was from here, now you need to tell me why they reacted the way they did." he said his foot tapping expectantly.

"Answers about what?" Raylan asked, distracted.

"About today."

"I guess I figured if you told them your local roots they would be more likely to think of you as one of their own. I really told you to tell them you were originally from here?"

"Yes, but obviously you weren't paying much attention to the conversation. Well they know something and I'm going to ask them what it is," Nate stated.

"Don't bother son, they won't know anything real. Fact and fiction get confused down there, nothing they tell you can be thought of as truth."

"What are you afraid of?"

Raylan was surprised by his son's statement. "Nothing, I just don't want you to be fed lies and half-truths."

"I'm asking, so if you don't want me to then don't send me there," Nate said standing up and turning to leave the room.

"Don't threaten me son, you have two weeks left of camp and I expect you to complete them without any problems arising," Raylan said sternly. Nate who had been walking away stopped in his tracks but didn't turn around. "Am I clear son?" Raylan asked his son's back. Nate remained quiet standing still. "Am I clear?" Raylan asked again. Nate bit his lower lip and continued to walk to his room never having answered his father.

Raylan debated about going after his son but his ringing phone stopped him. It appeared that his brilliant, but preoccupied idea to help Nate blend in to Harlan society had backfired. He looked at the caller ID and saw it was Art calling so with a sigh he answered.

Nate wanted to slam his door but knew if he did it would simply be an invitation for his father to track him down and reiterate once again what he wanted.

"Who and what?" Raylan asked Art over the phone.

"Carol Johnson, she is from Black Pike, they want to buy up a bunch of land and she will need protection while she is in Harlan and she personally requested you. Your rapport with the folk will come in might handy in this assignment. You pick her up tomorrow and expect to spend the weekend with her including overnights so if you need help with Nate let me know. He is always welcome at our place."

"Okay then," Raylan answered not particularly happy with the timing of all this. He looked down the hall at the closed door and sighed as he hung up the phone. It was Thursday night and he had no doubt that his stubborn child would undoubtedly ask everyone in sight tomorrow what they knew about the Campbell clan. He hated to send him but at the same time he didn't want to cave in to his eleven year old. He had once again underestimated his son.

A knock at the door pulled him from his jumble of thoughts. Winona was due at any time but she had been with them long enough she wasn't knocking anymore. Raylan walked over and opened it to see Tommy standing there grinning up at him. "Hey Marshal, is Nate home?"

"Why yes Tommy he is and how are you this evening?"

"I'm good, my mom sent me down here cause we're going to Lexington History Museum tomorrow cause Mom says I need to do something educational this summer and since its almost over we had better to do it soon."

"Well that sounds like a great plan Tom," Raylan said smiling at the rambling teen.

"So can Nate come too?"

"Well," he hesitated realizing this was the answer to his immediate problem, "why sure he can, in fact I think that is a fantastic idea."

"I know he'll miss camp, but I was hoping he wouldn't mind."

"He won't mind at all, I'm sure he'd love to go. You wait right here while I go get him."

Raylan knocked as he opened the door and saw Nate set his phone down. "What?" he asked tersely.

"Hey now, watch your tone," Raylan warned.

"Okay, what?" he asked much more softly.

"That's better, Tommy is at the door and wants to know if you want to go to the history museum tomorrow. I think it would be a great idea for you to go."

"Only because you don't want me to go to camp."

"That may be true, but you still have two weeks left so this would just be a little break for you."

"Are you asking me if I want to go to the museum or are you telling me I'm going?"

"I think you should go, broaden your Lexington experiences."

"Ha, hard to do if you don't like horses or bourbon."

"True enough, so you should take this opportunity then."

"Well sure I will, if you let me go take Loretta up on her offer to go to a gathering this weekend." Raylan wasn't sure what to even think about this request. "Quid pro quo, father."

"Ah, the old something for something ploy. When and where is this gathering?"

"Sunday and Harlan of course."

"I know Harlan but where in Harlan?"

Nate shrugged his shoulders, "Bennett's I think. You promised Mags that she would get to see me more."

"I didn't know you and Loretta had grown so close."

"I texted her after her kidnapping to check on her and we stayed in contact. I think she just wants to make sure there is somebody else there that she knows."

"Well I have to work all weekend and can't take you down there."

"I'll find a ride," Nate stated with the look his mother often wore when she set her mind to something.

"Okay, you find a ride you can go as long as you call me every hour and stay away from all Bennett's that aren't Mags, and you do not say another word about the Campbell's. Deal?"

Nate thought about it for a minute but finally agreed.

"And don't think I won't find out about it if you do."

"Fine, where are you working this weekend? Out of state?"

"Nope Harlan," Raylan said smiling.


	15. Weekend in Harlan

**Weekend in Harlan**

Nate had a rousing time with Tom and his mother touring the museum. He liked museums for the most part but he had ended up spending the better part of the day trying to get a hold of Helen. He had hung up on Arlo several times in his effort to speak with her. He had originally asked for her but Arlo unpleasantly had told him she had crawled off and died so in his subsequent calls he simply hung up when his grandfather answered. He was running out of excuses for being on his cell and patience with his grandfather for continuing to answer the phone. He finally gave up while that ate lunch at a small café near the museum. He felt his phone vibrate from his back pocket but resisted the urge to see who had texted him until they were done and heading back to the car.

"Well?" Loretta had asked. He had told her he was working on getting to the picnic/gathering/hootenanny or whatever you wanted to call it.

"Still trying" he typed back

"Everything okay?" Lynn Morton asked.

"Yes ma'am, thank you so much for including me on the trip, I really appreciate it."

"You're very welcome Nate, I'm so glad you could come. Now you are going to stay at our house until your…um…"

"Winona comes home," Nate offered.

"Yes, Winona."

"His dad's girlfriend," Tommy said shaking his head, "she is his dad's girlfriend. And I think she is very pretty."

"Yeah, whatever Tom." Nate replied, unsure of how he felt about the whole arrangement between his father and his ex-wife.

"She seems very nice," Lynn offered.

"She is I just don't know how they expect it to work out this time."

Lynn looked at him in the rearview mirror but decided it best to keep her mouth shut.

Nate was walking home after Winona had pulled in when he tried calling the house in Harlan once more. This time Helen finally answered.

"Helen, it's Nate, hey I was going to ask if you if it was possible that you could come up and get me tomorrow so I could spend a little time with this weekend."

"Oh, well that would be nice but I'm not sure if your father would be all that thrilled with the idea. I know he really doesn't want you around Arlo."

"Well you see, a friend of mine invited me to a barbeque of some sort and I need a ride down there so I was thinking I could spend the morning with you and the afternoon at the cook-out and then since my dad will be working in Harlan and should be done by Sunday night he could give me a ride back."

"Well I'll have to talk to Raylan about it and make sure it is okay," she said hesitantly.

"Okay, just let me know soon please."

Nate wasn't sure just how his father would answer Helen but he hoped he would keep his end of the bargain.

Down in Harlan Raylan was tailing Carol Johnson around as she tried to wheel and deal those who weren't all that interested in what her company had to offer. It didn't start out well as he began his babysitting detail hung-over unable to deal with Winona and the money issue along with Art's suspicions and Nate's rebellion and ever questioning ways, sober. Then in the rough state he was in, he unwisely decided to take on Coover in a battle royal, losing badly, his only saving grace being Mags who for whatever reason had a special spot in her heart for him and stopped her youngest from beating him senseless. Then Carol's speech at the local church hadn't gone all that well even with Boyd's theatrics and the firecrackers putting an exciting end to the antics.

Even with Mags giving her hometown speech rallying the troops to stick to their guns and turn aside any offer they get from Black Pike, Carol still felt it worthwhile to try and sway Arlo and Helen into signing over their land. Raylan again forced to tag along with Carol pulled into his father's house and was immediately cornered by Helen.

"What brings you here?" She demanded.

"My job," Raylan sighed. "Ms. Johnson wants to speak to you about your land."

"Arlo will never sell," she stated.

"Yeah I know that, it's not me you have to convince."

"Raylan, if I give you the money that Arlo owes the federal government, the money you all fronted him, for whatever scheme you cooked up then will you stay away from us, from Harlan?"

"Sure, that's a deal I'm willing to make," Raylan said. "Look I have to get back to Carol before Arlo completely freaks her out." He said walking towards the house.

"Raylan, Nate called me. He asked me for a ride to spend some time here tomorrow before he went to a barbeque."

"Did he tell you where the gathering was?" Raylan turned and asked.

"I already know it's at the Bennett's. Mags told me about it, we came to a truce Raylan and the only way that will truly take hold is if you stay away from here. Let Nate have his day, children have a way of righting the world, but then don't come back."

Raylan nodded, his hat bobbing in unison. "You sure don't know my child," he whispered on his way to the house.

The meeting was supposed to be short and simple but due to a complication that had begun in a Lexington courtroom earlier that month it took a sudden turn for the worse. The Kirby's, who had fallen victims to an accident that they blamed on Black Pike, never gave up on vengeance and gunfire erupted, aimed at Carol. One of them had managed to wiggle their way down to Harlan and followed Carol and Raylan to the house. Apparently the marshal hadn't given them quite as much credit as they deserved and Arlo's leg fell victim to their hatred as a bullet pierced his calf.

With his father lying on the floor complaining and Helen going for the shotgun, Raylan had Carol hide while he managed to outflank the shooter and end the whole ordeal. Arlo had been shot in the leg and was no happier with Black Pike, blaming them for his current pain and discomfort as well as harassment for wanting his land. Raylan was about ready to really take Helen up on her offer.

"So you'll stay away?" she asked as he got ready to leave.

"Now Helen, you know I can't do that."

"But you promised," she said.

"Well, not promised just implied. Drive safely tomorrow," he said waving goodbye.

"Well I don't quite know what to think of your family," Carol said as they pulled away.

"Yeah me either," Raylan sighed. "But that is nothing compared to what you will face tomorrow at the Bennett's."

"Yes I do believe you're right." She agreed.

Nate had arrived safely in Harlan and was with Helen at the house. Arlo hadn't yet been released from the hospital but was expected to be home by Monday. Raylan wasn't sure what to expect from the get-together which was going to be awkward enough even without Carol around.

"Okay cowboy, so you push away my romantic overtones but I don't see a ring on your finger, so I want the story." Carol demanded to know, not at all pleased at being snubbed.

"No story, not really. I'm just trying to figure things out myself."

"Yeah, that's what they all say," she sighed. "Well shall we go?"

"Let's," Raylan said checking his watch. He followed the winding roads up and around.

"I don't know how the hell you know where you're going in this county."

"Practice, lots of practice," he said checking his phone.

"Expecting a call?"

"No just like to make sure I didn't miss anything. Service can be spotty out here," he said thinking of Nate.

Helen dropped Nate off with mixed emotions. She liked the kid, he was bright and sweet, but had that look deep in his eyes that Raylan often had. There was much more to the boy than he showed on the surface and that worried her.

"You made it," Loretta said as soon as she saw Nate.

"Told you I would."

"Thank God, these older boys keep hanging around me giving me the creeps."

"Well I'll be twelve soon," he boasted proudly.

"Yeah well you'll always be nearly three years younger than me no matter what," she reminded him. "When's your birthday?"

"October," he answered quietly.

"That's months away," she laughed.

"I suppose." He answered with a sigh.

"Well let's find you something to eat," she said dragging him off towards the food.

Mags was happy to see the young Givens. She had always like Raylan despite the feud and found the same affinity for his son. Loretta was so pretty and Nate a handsome little doppelganger of his father, they made a great young couple. She abruptly excused herself from Coover and made her way over to them.

"Hey there guys how are you doing? Nate it's great that you're here."

"Thank you, Loretta invited me."

"I'm so glad she did, is your daddy here?"

"No ma'am, at least I haven't seen him."

"Well you have fun and if you need anything you just let me know," she said putting her hand on his head.

"So, I heard the Bennett's and the Givens don't like each other much," Loretta said after Mags was out of range.

"Yeah, but for some reason she likes me and my dad. Or at least she acts like she does."

"Young Givens," Boyd said his smile huge. "It is so nice to see you here back in your family's old stomping grounds."

"Thanks, I guess."

"You remember Ava right?"

"Sure I do, how are you?" Nate asked smiling, thinking it funny that Ava had now landed in Boyd's camp.

"Fine thank you," she said looking uncomfortable.

"You ever dance, like we do down here in the hollers?" he asked nodding towards the clogging area.

"I can't bounce around like that, but I'll watch you," Nate said.

Boyd smiled. "Well I'll take that challenge." He climbed up and began his moves looking well practiced. The three watched until he convinced Ava to join him while Nate explained his illness to a questioning Loretta.

"So there's all kinds of things that are wrong with you?" Loretta asked.

"No easy way to describe it, except totally fucked up."

"Will it kill you," she asked, concern written all over her face.

"Some days – not soon enough," he said with a sigh walking away before Loretta could respond.

Finally Boyd excused himself and met up with Mags and they both disappeared into the house. Nate looked over and saw the still on the side of the house and couldn't help but take a closer look. "Is this real?" he asked Doyle.

"Of course it is, what else would be a lawn ornament?"

"Not really lawn ornament territory is it?" Nate said following the tubing around and around with his eyes.

"Who's your friend Loretta?" Doyle asked.

"Nate Givens," Nate said extending his hand. "And you are?"

"Doyle Bennett," he answered dryly. "Your dad here yet?"

"Just pulled up," Nate said looking across the yard.

"Now, we won't be welcomed warmly but I don't expect a lot trouble here," Raylan said as he helped Carol out of the car.

"Charming," she said looking around.

Nate walked over to his father and looked at the representative from Black Pike. "Hi," he said quietly.

"Well hello there, what's your name?"

Nate smiled realizing that his father had remained quite mum about his personal life. "Nate Givens."

"Well that's…"

"Yep that's my dad's last name too," he said continuing to smile.

"Carol Johnson this is my son Nate," he said with a forced smile. "I see Helen got you here alright," he said as Carol looked at Raylan's ring finger again.

"He's not married, my mom's dead and he's trying to figure out which direction he wants to pursue romantically."

"I see," Carol answered obviously uncomfortable.

"I saw Boyd and Mag's go inside a several minutes ago," Nate said.

"Thanks, we'll check it out," Raylan said steering Carol towards the house.

"Cute kid," she managed to say.

"He has his days." Raylan said as Dickie made his way over to them.

Loretta and Nate finally found a quiet spot to watch the festivities wrap up. They found solace in the similarities they shared. "It must have been hard to lose your mama so fast," Loretta said.

"Yeah it was a shock, but I knew she didn't suffer. One minute she was trying to decide whether or not to buy some sunglasses the next…well the next thing is a mystery, one that she now knows but we remain shrouded in ignorance."

"I guess I never thought of it that way," Loretta pondered. "Not sure if that makes death easier or not."

"Guess it depends what they mystery entails. Sorry your dad isn't around; I know how hard that is. I had a long distance relationship with mine for years. You just keep feeling like you're missing out; growing up without him."

"I'm just concerned because he hasn't called, I would have thought he would have been in some kind of contact by now."

"I'm sure there's a good reason."

"Hey you two, come over here and help me," Coover barked out to them.

"Help me load this up here," he said rolling a keg towards the truck.

"Nate can't lift stuff, he's sick." Loretta said grabbing one end of the keg.

"Don't look sick to me."

"Well I am, it's a rare autoimmune disorder."

"Oh whatever," Coover said. "Lift girl," he ordered Loretta who suddenly looked as if she had seen a ghost.

Nate began, as he did so well, to study Coover. It didn't take long before he realized what was out of place. He hadn't been wearing that watch when Nate had seen him in the store earlier that summer. It was also the only thing that stood out that Loretta would have keyed in on so quickly. If Nate was a betting man he would put money that the watch had belonged to Loretta's father.

Unsatisfied with the help he summarily dismissed both Loretta and Nate. "Let me guess that's your dad's watch?" Loretta just blankly nodded that it was. "The whole reason he wanted you to help was to show it off, that was a threat Loretta."

"What do we do?"

"Tell my dad," Nate offered.

"I want to look for more clues first. I'm afraid if we just tell him there won't be enough evidence."

"That could be pretty dangerous, have you seen the size of that man?"

"Please help me."

"Tonight?"

"Yes, I have to know."

"I can understand that."

"Hey you two, sorry to break this up but come on Nate I have to get Ms. Johnson to the airport." Raylan said.

"But I just called Helen; she's on her way to get me. She has to pick Arlo up from the hospital tomorrow so she can drop me off at home."

Raylan thought about that for a minute and though he would much rather have Nate come home with him, but keeping him out of camp with his questions for another day wouldn't hurt. "Okay, but call me when you get back to the house. And I want to hear from you tomorrow.

"Yes sir, thanks," Nate said forcing a happy smile.

"Wow, you are good," Loretta complimented.

"Yeah, champion liar that's me."

"He'll find out, I mean it's not full proof."

"I know, but hopefully we'll have some answers by then. Besides maybe he'll ground me from camp."

Once back in her room Loretta threw the hair comb down and did her best not to cry in front of Nate, but couldn't totally pull it off. "I'm sorry about your dad." Nate said putting his hand on her shoulders.

"Thanks for being here," she whispered.

"Got nowhere else to be," he said smiling. "Besides I know you would do this alone and I can't let you do that. So what's the plan?"

"This," she said holding up a bag of pot.

"Weed, you're planning on taking down Godzilla with weed?"

"It's strong stuff."

"Only if you crush up some horse tranquilizers to stuff in there."

"You won't tell your dad that I have this will you?"

Nate chuckled. "Right, cause that's the part that will concern him; never mind the possible murder and cover-up."

Nate made himself scarce while Loretta changed into something more suitable for their adventure. "Do you have the phone my dad gave you?" Nate asked when he came back into the room.

"Yeah right here, here's a flashlight." She said handing him a small light.

Nate, glad he brought his coat, zipped it up. "It gets cold up here at night."

"Life in the mountains."

"I'm used to life on the beach."

"Well suck it up boy cause your back to your Kentucky roots now."

"And how," Nate said following Loretta into the dark.

They got to the house that Coover and Dickie shared and while Nate stayed outside, Loretta went inside to share her gift. It took about a half hour for Coover to go down for the count but finally he appeared to give in to the powerfully rolled herb. Loretta waved Nate inside and the two of them tiptoed to the back bedroom. "Look for anything that might not belong," Loretta whispered.

"Duh, son of a lawman." Nate teased as he began to paw through Coover's dresser. "You might want to call my dad now, just in case King Kong wakes up."

"What should I tell him?"

"Your suspicions and that you are looking for further evidence." Nate said as he found the watch and handed it to Loretta who squinted at it under the light of Nate's flashlight reading the inscription on the back.

Loretta began to shake and could barely dial the phone. "Raylan we're at Coover's I think he or one of the Bennett's killed my father. I really need your help," she said barely keeping it together.

"Okay just stay calm, um by we do you mean you and Nate?" Raylan asked wincing as he did.

"Yes sir, he didn't want me to do it alone."

"Okay I want you two to get out of there and wait for me down by the road at Mags house okay? I have to turn around and come back."

But as Raylan finished his sentence the only thing he could hear was a scream and shuffling around along with Coover's booming voice. He yelled into the phone but got no response. He looked at Carol as the phone was disconnected. "I have to go back; I need to drop you off at the gas station. I'm sorry but Loretta and Nate are in trouble."

"No problem, I'll be fine you just go get the kids."

Raylan screeched to a stop and helped her with her luggage and apologized once again before he raced away retracing his steps back towards the Bennett's.

Loretta tried to get away with the aid of Nate tripping Coover up, but she didn't get very far. And size does matter as neither of the kids could escape his powerful grip. He threw them both in the truck and threatened that if either one tried to leave he would kill the other.

They bounced around in the cab of the truck over the back roads. Nate had no idea where he was as the blackness surrounded them. Loretta had lost her phone but Nate still had his, but had no way of using it or know if could even get a signal. He knew Raylan would be on his way but would have no idea where they were, and unfortunately Nate wouldn't be of much help. They finally slowed down as they chugged up a hill, the moonlight providing very little in the way of assistance. Coover climbed out of the truck and while waving a gun around ordered the kids out of the cab.

"I have tried so hard all my life for her to notice me and you come in and just a few weeks you get a hair comb and a special place in her heart. Now I'm going to give you two a dose of reality."

"Coover just take a breath man. You can't compare yourself to Loretta, that's like apples and oranges," Nate said looking up at the man.

"What are you talking about?"

"Look, your mom had three boys, any mom who has three children of the same sex wants what Coover?"

Coover stood there unsure what to say. He looked down at Loretta's scared face. "A girl?" he asked unsure of his answer.

"Exactly, if she had three girls she would have wanted a boy, but since she had three boys, Loretta is the answer to her prayers. A pretty girl she can dress up and give hair combs too; it's every mothers dream."

Coover stood there quietly contemplating what Nate had said before he shoved him to the ground. "That might be true, but she has always treated me like dirt. I bet your daddy don't treat you like that." Nate stood up and brushed himself off. Coover didn't allow him to answer as he continued the march up the hill.

Raylan had gone to Coover and Dickie's house to discover the dropped and forgotten phone but no kids. Luckily Dickie was able to be revived from the fracas he had had with Coover, and with a little persuasion gave up the information that Raylan needed to recover two over-curious and naïve kids. He ran to his car and jammed into drive and drove much too fast for the curvy dark roads.

"You know what this place is?" Coover asked.

"Dude I'm from Florida," Nate said keeping Loretta behind him. Since she was several inches taller than him she could easily feel a part of the whole nightmare despite Nate's protective measures.

"Old mine shaft," Loretta whispered having a good idea of the message Coover was trying to send.

"Listen to me man, I know what it's like to have a parent disappointed in you. Like Loretta said, I'm sick. We don't even know exactly why or what my future will be but I do know what it's like for your parent to look at you differently, wish you were something else. He tries to hide it but I can see it in his eyes, the hint of contempt, frustration that he is sitting in the doctor's office instead of the bleachers of the ball game you were supposed to be playing, if you were only healthy. That somehow this weakness is intentional and if you just try hard enough you can make it go away. Being the son of a marshal is hard enough but to be weak is inexcusable."

Coover stood quietly and motionless. "I want to show you what's down there," he said finally finding his voice and shoving Nate towards the shaft.

Raylan was trekking up the hill as fast as he could without drawing attention to himself. He had heard Nate's voice but couldn't make out too many of the words he had spoken. He could just see the figures up ahead and prayed that he could take Coover by surprise. He really wasn't sure the best way to tackle this, he hated it when potential hostages were involved.

Coover waved the gun around to gain Loretta's compliance. She shuffled near the opening of the shaft privately berating herself for thinking she could handle this. She didn't know what she had been thinking and now Nate was in serious danger as well. The panic had swelled inside her until she thought her head was going to explode. Nate seemed so calm as if he knew at any minute it all be okay. She didn't know if he was deluded or just that comfortable with the possibility of death.

"Hey there Coover, you taking these two on a field trip?" Raylan asked.

The youngest Bennett spun around and suddenly the two men were wrapped up in a brawl. Coover had the advantage of size and anger, but what he didn't know was that he had lost his gun as he had dropped it when he lunged at Raylan.

The two jockeyed back and forth as the kids looked on. Loretta took a step back and felt the gun at her feet and stooped to pick it up. Nate was watching the action around him edging his way towards the battling men. "Nate get out of the way," Raylan growled losing ground.

Coover had managed to push Raylan over to the edge of the mine shaft and was doing his very best to shove the marshal over and down into the darkness. Nate couldn't stand by and watch his father be murdered and he had no doubt that he and Loretta would be right behind him. It was not going to end like this. So when Loretta raised the gun and shouted for them to stop it he knew what he had to do. He gave no warning just grabbed the gun from her as Coover parted with his threats. "You're dead girl."

"No I don't think she is, Gomer," Nate said taunting him. "I've gone to the range for years and finally I get to shoot at a human target," he said moving over to change the angle as to not kill his father as well.

Raylan had no doubt his son meant it. Despite the darkness he saw a look in Nate's eyes that reflected his own. Nate had easily stepped into the role of protector. Coover's grip relaxed as he turned to face Nate and that was the only window he needed. "Coover," Raylan yelled just as he pulled the trigger.

Raylan moved and assisted the body into falling down the shaft to join Loretta's father below. Nate looked disappointed as he lowered the gun missing out on his chance to shoot. Raylan holstered his gun and ordered Nate to hand over the gun he held. "You guys okay?"

Loretta was breathing hard, trying not to cry while Nate looked defiant. "Yeah, we're okay." The boy answered looking over at the blackness that had just consumed their threat.

Loretta looked like she was about to fall over so Raylan stepped forward and met her with an embrace as Nate looked on.

The ride back to Lexington was long and too short at the same time. Once Raylan got a good enough signal he worked the phone reporting what had happened and discovering what he had to do with Loretta. He looked into the backseat; Loretta's face held a blank stare while Nate held her hand and looked angry and lost.

When Raylan pulled up to a building; a tired and perturbed looking woman was standing there waiting for them. "Marshal Givens I presume?"

"Yes ma'am," Raylan answered looking back inside the car. Nate and Loretta looked exhausted and unhappy. He waved at them to get out of the car. Loretta was clinging to Nate who looked as if he was going to need some kind of serious decree to get him to let her go. "You know she is a friend of my son, so why can't she just stay at my place tonight and we can figure all this out in the morning."

The social worker shook her head slightly. "That's a lovely offer, but she is a ward of the state now and must be in our care. You don't happen to be a foster parent do you?"

"No, I'm not," Raylan admitted.

"Well I'm sorry then," she said reaching out for Loretta.

"That's stupid, she has had a hell of a day and night and needs to be around friends not strangers," Nate argued.

"I understand, but rules are rules young man."

"It's stupid," he spit out as he held fast to Loretta's hand.

"It's okay, I'll be okay." Loretta answered, her voice bereft.

Raylan pulled his son over to him and ordered him to get into the car. "I'll be by in the morning to pick her up so she can make her statement at the Marshal's office." He turned to Loretta, "Nate will be with me and we can get some breakfast before we go."

"Sure," Loretta said looking ahead, her shoulders slumped admitting defeat.

Other than asking Nate if he was okay the two remained silent the rest of the ride. When they got home Nate went straight to bed leaving his father wondering exactly what he had been thinking. Raylan lay down in bed and wondered exactly what he himself was thinking. His mind was contorted and confused and he had no idea of what he would eventually say to his son.


	16. The War of Authority

**The War of Authority**

They rode in silence to pick up Loretta at the group home. Raylan really wanted to impart some words of wisdom but none were forthcoming so he embraced the silence along with his son. He left Nate in the car while he went to retrieve Loretta. She came down from upstairs with a new set of clothes on and a subdued manner. She looked down at the floor while Raylan spoke with the case worker. Finally after he agreed to all the rules and restrictions on where she could go and when she had to be back they made their way to the car.

Nate was leaning against the car staring off into the distance. "Hey Loretta, life sucks huh?"

Loretta finally lifted her head and despite her best efforts a tear slid down her cheek. Nate stepped over to her and gave her a hug. She responded by wrapping her arms around him. Raylan stepped around the car and slid into the driver's seat. He was glad one of them could help her in her moment of need. They finally parted and both climbed into the backseat. Raylan, as he did last night, felt like a chauffeur. He drove a few miles and pulled into a pancake house and ushered his charges in, where they found a comfortable table.

Once the waitress came by for the orders, Raylan cleared his throat and prayed for assistance that he not say the wrong thing. "I'm truly sorry Loretta."

"If you hadn't come, I'd be dead too," she said quietly. "Don't be mad at Nate, I asked him to come and he knew if he didn't I would have gone anyway."

"Well don't you worry about Nate, but I do wish you would have come to me before you went after Coover. What you did was very dangerous."

"Yeah and it almost cost you your life." She agreed feeling bad that she had placed both Givens in danger.

"Coover wouldn't have stopped with my dad," Nate said matter- of- factly.

"You were going to shoot him weren't you Nate?" she asked.

Nate was quiet and opened his mouth and then closed it again as the waitress brought their drinks. Once she departed he tried again. "I think I was, all I could envision was my father getting shoved into the abyss. Why shoot him after when I could save three lives instead of only two. Vengeance is one thing but I prefer be more proactive."

"But I can't be proactive, my only option is vengeance," Loretta said sipping her milk.

"Okay guys enough talk about revenge, we need to talk about your statements," Raylan said moving his coffee cup around.

"I'm good," Nate assured.

"I'll just tell them the truth," Loretta said.

"Good place to start," Raylan agreed as their breakfast arrived.

Art wore his 'here we go again' look when Raylan arrived with the kids. Everybody was separated and spoke their piece. They needed to get down to Harlan and meet up with those on the scene, and it was decided that Loretta could return to the group home to finish getting settled while Nate accompanied the crew down to the site. They hadn't been there long when Mags and Doyle showed up.

"Nate go wait over there by that tree," Raylan ordered.

He hesitated but when he saw Mags' face he relented and turned, walking away quickly. He sat down under the tree he had been directed to, allowing the shade to cover him. He saw the agony in Mags' face as what she feared had been confirmed. Her youngest son was dead at the hands of the man standing in front of her. Nate realized if it had gone a different way Nate would have been bearing the burden of Coover's death. His father had protected him by wasting no time and shooting first.

Doyle looked at Raylan with anger in his eyes but Mags seemed to accept what had happened and lay no blame. They had just brought the bodies up and Mags identified her son even though Doyle had attempted to spare her by doing the ID himself. But being the matriarch of the family she had no desire to shirk her responsibilities now. She glanced up at Nate, her face shrouded in the agony of one who had lost someone dear. Nate knew that look as he had also worn it once not so long ago.

He continued to watch the scene below as it wrapped up. Mags was busy pumping Raylan for information on Loretta, in an attempt to see her. But Raylan was emphatic that no such visitation was possible leaving Mags angry and suddenly eager to leave. With the Bennett's departing, Nate lay down and looked up at the sky and studied the clouds until he heard his father's footsteps coming. "Let's go," Raylan said squinting up at the same sky that his son was gazing intently at. "See anything interesting?"

"I was just thinking," Nate sighed as he sat up.

"And dare I ask what you were thinking about?"

Nate brought himself to a standing position and looked at his father. "What would happen to me?"

"Come again?" Raylan asked cocking his head.

"What would happen to me if you died? Do you have a plan, any ideas or would I just get an adjoining room with Loretta?"

"Son, I can understand why you would be thinking about this but now is not really the time."

"Then when?" Nate snapped.

"Hey watch your tone young man," Raylan warned, unhappy with his son's attitude.

"You always avoid the hard subjects, it's my life I deserve to know," Nate said his voice rising.

Raylan looked behind him where the techs were loading the last items into their cars. "You're right you do deserve to know, but now is not the time. We can discuss this later."

"No, tell me now. You'll just put me off again," Nate yelled his anger clearly visible.

"No, where I am going to put you is over my knee if you don't knock it off."

Nate shook his head. "I'm almost twelve Dad, not gonna happen."

"You might not like the odds of that threat," Raylan said moving towards his son. "And you still have several months between you and your birthday, not that it matters."

Nate backed up unsure of what his father's intentions were. "This is the United States; a civilized society," Nate argued.

"You might want to take another look around about the civilized part."

Nate saw the crime techs driving off; the bodies hadn't been too far in front of them. The isolation of the area sent a shiver down his spine as did the memories of last night. "Good point," Nate said swallowing hard.

"Now the way I see it is that I'm the father, your father as a matter of fact, and that title means I get to call the shots."

"Fine, but I want to know what those shots are."

"And I told you that was fine, but when there is a more suitable time," Raylan said stepping closer to Nate. "And guess what? What I say goes, even if you don't like it. Now let's go."

"That's a cop out," Nate said his voice even. Raylan who had turned around and had taken a step away now turned back towards his son. He took two giant steps forward and grabbed his son's arm.

"Look around, we are alone and you know I don't hesitate on much, make your choice right now; keep your mouth shut and come with me or this can go a different way, it's your decision."

"Let's go," Nate mumbled.

"I'm sorry what was that?"

"Let's go," Nate repeated.

"New rule; you look at me when I speak to you, and you look at me when you answer."

Nate looked up despite his efforts his face was strained. "I said let's go."

"Fine choice, you are as smart as they say," Raylan said continuing to hold Nate by the elbow. He steered his seething but defeated son back to the car.

Corporal punishment had come calling with some frequency to the Givens family. Raylan had certainly been familiar with it as Arlo was never one to let anything slide and never lectured; only yelled, belittled and hit. Raylan vowed never to be like that and had never even been on the fringes. He decided early on he wouldn't be a pushover but would never venture in Arlo territory.

While Nate had never suffered as his father had, he was still not a complete stranger to physical punishment, though it had been far from commonplace. Nadine didn't take any crap, and her son knew when he had stepped over that imaginary line that all kids attempt to straddle as they test life and their place in it. She was more than capable of driving a point home when she needed to. One of her 'mom' looks would often put Nate right in his place. Now it was time for Raylan to back up his 'dad' looks. Other than Nate's punishment after his trip into the woods when Raylan had acted out of fear that had turned to anger; he hadn't laid a hand on him any time recently. There had been times in the past, but not often, as generally he had played the part of the Disney Dad quite well in making the most of their visits. But now that Nate was his twenty-four hours it was time to not only lay down the rules but enforce them without blinking.

Nate sat with his arms folded and scowled in the general direction of the glove box while Raylan felt the fury float over to his side of the car as he pulled out onto the road. "Okay, so I get that you're mad at me but if you keep looking like that your face is going to freeze and you'll be forever stuck with that expression."

"Dad, I'll say it again; I'm nearly twelve, not a baby."

"I see, well I never thought you were a baby, and I haven't treated you like one, but if you want respect you have to earn it by showing respect. That means you can't act like a total snot when you don't get what you want."

"I'm just tired of you pushing me aside."

"I'm not pushing you aside son, it's just that there are appropriate times and places for certain discussions and that was not the time or place. I know it must be fresh on your mind after seeing Loretta's predicament, but having a tantrum isn't going to sway me, it will only serve to piss me off."

"So when's a good time then?"

"When I decide."

"See, I knew it. There will be no good time," Nate snapped as he kicked the glove box in front of him.

"Hey now, that's enough," Raylan yelled pulling the car over.

"I just want the truth is that so much to ask for? I'm tired of you putting me off. The Campbell's, my own mother's family are never to be spoken of, a legal guardian is hush hush, this should not be so damn complicated."

Raylan sat quietly while his son ranted unsure of how to respond. "I will tell you one more time son, forget it for right now. When we get home you can spend a couple hours in your room calming down as I'm going to cash this up to all the emotions of the last twenty-four hours. Then if you feel like you can have a civilized conversation we can have a discussion."

"A discussion where you won't answer any of my questions," Nate shouted, anger etched in his young face.

Raylan looked up and down the quiet road and silently asked Nadine for guidance from beyond the grave. He knew what his father would do; there was no question there as Raylan had suffered that humiliation more than a time or two. He so didn't want to be Arlo, but he also didn't want an uncontrollable brat as a son either. There were going to be times when Nate was going to have to listen and do as he was told when he's told to do it, no questions asked. But here he was testing and it was Raylan who was going to fail if he didn't act.

Raylan once again looked up down the road which remained vacant other than their lone car. He unlatched his seatbelt and got out of the car causing Nate to look up his eyes following his father's path around the vehicle. Raylan got to the passenger side door and curled his finger indicating that Nate needed to get out of the car. Suddenly his son didn't look so tough and Raylan was instantly losing his nerve.

"Let's go son," he said holding up the keys in case Nate had any ideas of locking the door. As slowly as possible Nate got out of the car, he avoided looking up at his father as Raylan began to pull his belt through its loops. He took his holstered gun off his belt and opened the back door and lay it down gently. "You may be eleven," Raylan said placing emphasis on the fact that he was still very much eleven and not yet twelve, " but you are also in Kentucky and we have our own rules," he said pulling Nate back by the very trunk he had learned to climb out of earlier that summer.

"I can't believe this," Nate said quietly as he put his hands on the side of the trunk.

"Well you'll be believing it very soon," Raylan assured. "I gave you several chances, but you allowed your anger to dictate your actions along with your mouth, both of which led you here. I have no choice Nate, you didn't give me one."

"Sure you do, you don't have to do this."

"Yes I think I do, your demeanor has told me I have to. You're a good kid and I want to keep it that way. You can be mad at me, you can hate me, but if you don't have respect for me then I can't do my job."

"And you think this will get you my respect?"

"I'm going to take a chance on it."

"And if it doesn't?"

"Then we'll see what else I can find to connect to your ass," Raylan said as he steadied his son and brought the belt down.

The last thing he wanted was to break any of Nate's spirit or gregarious personality, but if it wasn't tempered when it needed to be it wouldn't take much for it to be out of control. Raylan had to establish his role as father and supreme leader of the family.

After they climbed back into the car and Raylan had gotten belted and holstered up they headed back to Lexington. Thankfully the road had remained abandoned and had provided no passing audience. Nate wiped his face of the quiet tears that had fallen. He reminded him so much of himself as a boy trying to be tough after Arlo had gotten done with him. Raylan by no means was as well schooled in driving the belt as his old man was and he kept his concentration on not only location but strength of the blows. He was pretty certain he had remained even throughout the ordeal and had been fair. He was sure Nate didn't see it that way, but he was confident in his actions. He was glad it was over but he was just as glad he did it. His once insolent son was now a bit deflated and hopefully ready to embrace the hierarchy that he had been questioning.

"I'm sorry it had to be this way."

"Whatever," Nate said quietly.

"Son let's not start up all over again."

"I'm not."

"Good, when we get home I think you need to chill out in your room. I need to make some phone calls anyway. Then I promise we can talk."

"I know you'll promise and I know you'll mean it, but it seems like something always gets in the way," Nate said his tear stained face imploring Raylan to see it from his viewpoint.

"I know my job can cause a lot of chaos and I'm sorry about that."

"Are you really thinking about going back to Glynco? I heard you and Winona talking about it."

"Well we have discussed it, what are your thoughts?"

"It would be fine with me I guess."

"No decisions have been made and there has to be a spot for me and Art has to recommend me too. So it's far from a done deal."

"I know, but can you at least keep me posted?"

"Absolutely," Raylan said.

Nate turned on the radio and lost himself in the music and the scenery outside of his window for the remainder of the trip. Raylan eased the car into the driveway noticing hoping that Tommy wasn't going to come running down the street. He was a great kid but he just didn't have whatever was needed to deal with the boy right now.

"If you're looking for Tommy he goes to a tutor during the week." Nate pointed out.

"What happened to you helping him out?"

"It's a summer program so he doesn't lose what he learned last year."

"And you complained about camp."

"Yeah, and he complained about the tutor."

"Nobody's life is perfect," Raylan said smiling as he led them into the house. "Since you seem fairly calm now you can sit and watch TV while I make my calls if you want." Nate turned around and looked up at his father his face sad and his lower lip quivering. "What's wrong bud?"

Nate suddenly embraced his father as his whole body shuddered. "Hey now, what's going on?" Raylan asked rubbing his sons back.

But only Nate's sobs could answer. Raylan just stood and held his son tightly and let him cry it out.

Finally Nate let go and pulled away. "I'm sorry," he said his voice still unsteady, his eyes bloodshot."

"Don't be sorry, just tell me what brought that on?"

"Losing Mom was so hard, the hardest thing ever, but I thought you were going to die last night; that I was going to lose you too. Dad I couldn't stand that thought. I couldn't get the picture of Coover trying to push you down that mine shaft out of my head. Then seeing Loretta's dad's body and Mags face today was too much. All I could think of was that it could have been you." Nate said tears once again falling.

"I'm sorry; sometimes I forget that you are just a kid. I shouldn't have brought you down there."

"No, I had to be there, I had to finish giving the statement there so I could point everything out. And I certainly couldn't expect Loretta to do it. It just hit me in the heart and I couldn't hold it in anymore."

"And that's why you were so adamant about who your guardian would be?"

"I'm on emotional overload, I guess."

"I would say so. I'm sorry about the side of the road."

"No, don't be. It distracted me, I tried to be mad at you so I wouldn't cry and I did hang on…" Nate stopped giving into tears again.

"It's good that you cried, you needed that release."

"I just don't want you to get hurt or worse," Nate said regaining his composure.

"I'll do my best not to, I promise. Come on over here," he said directing Nate to the laptop.

"What about your calls?"

"This time they can wait." Raylan said as he fired up the computer. He went to Facebook and pulled up a man named Cade Campbell. "This guy right here is somebody that your mother and I trust enough to look out for you."

Nate sat down in front of the computer and clicked on the man's profile. "It says he's from Harlan County."

"Some things it may not say are that he is your mother's twin brother and he adored you. He visited you a few times in Florida, but he got deployed to Iraq and thought that he should step aside as I was trying to be a part of your life."

"Is he still in the Army?"

"Yes he is. It was his ticket out of Kentucky. Something he needed as much as your mother did. He is stationed down in Louisiana right now. We e-mail back and forth all the time. I keep him apprised of what you're up to. I was going to introduce you two via electronic magic soon. He said he has a few weeks of leave accrued and maybe he could come up for a visit."

Nate sat and studied the pictures of his uncle on the screen there were lots from Iraq and more from a deployment in Afghanistan. Raylan watched his son take it all in. "Those are the true heroes."

"You are too; you hunt the bad guys here, while they hunt the bad guys over there. What if he had gotten killed in the war, then what?"

"No worries he is alive and well. He couldn't come to her funeral but got back stateside about six months ago."

"What if something happens to him? Is there a plan B?"

"Let's just focus on what's in front of us right now."

Raylan excused himself as Nate took in every nugget he could find about his uncle. He walked to the bathroom and closed the door behind him. He put his hands on the sink and looked at himself in the mirror. He inhaled deeply and then just as Nate had earlier, he began to sob. He did so quietly but his whole body shook as the emotion struggled to come out. He hadn't slept much the previous night and he knew exhaustion was feeding this breakdown but it had been long overdue. He had literally bitten his lip not to cry while Nate had wept earlier. It was important that he stay strong for his son. But he would be lying if he said he wasn't terrified on a regular basis that he would end up dead and leave his son alone. When Nadine was alive he knew his death would be a tragedy and difficult for his son, but now it would be devastating.

Cade had still been in Afghanistan when Nadine was killed and he prayed every night the man came home alive and whole. Once he did, he and Raylan were in regular contact, the relationship was still kept secret until he was sure Cade was truly up to the possibility of fatherhood. He didn't regret keeping it to himself as Nate needed a strong and stable foundation. But he did have a plan B, though it was relatively recent and was somewhat tenuous but the thought of his son going to either set of grandparents or foster care was enough to convince him to act. It was a conversation he had a hard time starting, but once Tim met Arlo and learned of what surrounded Nate he reluctantly agreed to sign the papers. Raylan had noticed Tim began to look at Nate differently after that day but nobody else seemed to notice. He knew a fellow marshal probably wasn't the best choice but his options were few and Tim seemed to understand that. So a Raylan-less future had Cade at bat and Tim in the on-deck circle. Both of which he hoped would never be needed.

"Dad," he heard Nate yell out. "Winona's here."

Raylan splashed some water on his face and flushed the toilet before he left the sanctity of the bathroom. He walked into the living room and saw Nate typing away on the computer with Winona watching him.

"Hey there, how are you this evening?" he asked his ex-wife as brought her close for a hug.

"Better than you, I think. Are you okay?" she asked looking at him.

"Yeah, fine, just tired."

"I can see that." Winona said massaging his shoulders.

"What are you doing Nate?" Raylan asked looking at the laptop.

"Sending a private message to Cade and asking if he'll be my Facebook friend. Is that okay?" Raylan stood quietly as Winona stopped massaging. "I explained that you just told me and I wanted to say hi."

"That's fine, carry on."

"What's he talking about," Winona asked.

"Let's move this to the couch where you can get better leverage and start on my neck." Raylan said pulling her behind him.

"So a soldier is your answer, what if he gets deployed again?" Winona asked after Raylan had explained.

"Look I don't have too many choices here. This was a mutual decision that I hoped we would never need."

"But now you realize it is a strong possibility."

"I never thought Nadine would die before me," Raylan explained keeping his voice low. "Cade is nearing retirement, he's already done two tours, chances are he can get out before he is deployed again."

"Retired? How old is he?"

"Almost thirty-seven, twenty years equals retirement if one so desires in the military. His plan was to do twenty then get out and get another job."

"What's he do in the Army?"

"He's a mechanic, kid could fix anything. His dream was to open his own business."

"Where?"

"Wherever he wanted. He's lived in several states, but I know what you're thinking and no it wouldn't be anywhere near here."

"Wow, it just kind of hit me in the heart, the thought of you, well you know, not being around."

"Yeah, it's been that kind of day."

"Look I'm so sorry about this money fiasco," Winona said quietly speaking of the counterfeit money she had stolen and put back into the evidence locker. She had unfortunately involved Raylan and it had been like a cloud hanging over their head the last few weeks. She knew Nate was suspicious that something was going on and she was sure it had fueled his questionable demeanor of late. Now the whole Loretta/Coover ordeal had only served to push them to the brink.

Harlan County continued to plod along knee deep in its criminal element. Boyd had rallied his crew and had cornered the market on Marijuana. Raylan was keeping a half an eye on it while trying to keep out of Art's crosshairs. Awkwardness abounded whenever they were alone and the silence spoke volumes. Nobody quite knew what the other did or knew and it became clear they weren't going to talk about it.

"When does Nate start school?" Art asked to break up the silence.

"He started this past Monday, year round school." Raylan said relieved that nothing more came from Nate's questions at camp.

"How old is he?"

"He's still eleven; he won't turn twelve until October. He's always hated being the youngest, which is one of the biggest reasons that he begins to say he is almost, whatever his next age will be."

"Hmm, to be young again," Art said with a sigh. "How is it that he is so much younger than his classmates?"

"The district he was in Florida allowed kids to be tested if their birthdays were within three months of the cut-off day."

"And he aced the test?" Art surmised.

"He knew his numbers, sight words and was socially adequate."

Art nodded not the least bit surprised that Nate already had taken the world by storm at age four.

But other than that conversation and a few direct orders the two steered clear of one another focusing only on what was right in front of them. Raylan was convinced that if he asked to go to Glynco, Art would have no issue with saying yes.


	17. Fight and Flight part I

**Fight and Flight part I**

Raylan sighed as he hung up the phone. He wasn't quite sure what to think, he certainly shouldn't feel happy but he had to admit he did feel a tiny bit of pride rising up. He didn't have long to think about the conversation though as Winona suddenly appeared. "Can you give me a ride, my car won't start."

"Sure, I have to go out anyway. Where am I taking you?"

"The lawyer's office, Gary and I are proceeding with a divorce."

"Well I am sorry about that."

"No you're not," Winona said with a smile.

"Well, no I'm not, but it seemed like the right thing to say. " Raylan said as they headed to the car.

"Beautiful day," she said as they drove through town. "How's Nate doing?"

"Oh, he's been busy."

"It sounds like he's adjusting to life here in Kentucky. He seems like a great kid."

"Oh yeah, he has his moments," Raylan said glancing once again in the rearview mirror.

"What are you doing?"

"I think we're being followed."

"You are such a lawman."

"True but there is nothing wrong with being careful. I'll be right back," he said getting out of the car after they had stopped for a red light. He walked back to the car that was directly behind them. "Hey you have been following us for miles, now that is quite a coincidence. I'm going to go right when the light turns green and I suggest you turn left. Oh and have a nice day." Raylan then returned to his car just as the light changed and was relieved to see the mystery car follow his instructions. "Will you need a ride back?"

"No I'll take a cab," Winona said giving a small wave as she headed towards the law firm.

Raylan watched her go and then pulled away from the curb to pick up his next rider.

He parked in front of the school, locked his door and allowed his long strides to take him to the front entrance. It was hard to believe that it had been several months that he had stood across the street and watched his only child take his first steps into this building. Now he had been summoned, due to that same child's wrongdoing. Nate had apparently embraced his seventh grade year by starting it off with a bang.

He was buzzed inside where he walked down the long hallway following the signs that pointed his way to the office. Memories of his own school days began to emerge as he walked. The smells and noises all seemed to transcend time and take him right back to his own days of yore. He wasn't even clear anymore as to his own experience in school; it didn't ever seem to rate high or low; it was just a part of his history, now his son was starting his own history.

He walked into the front office to find the two secretaries conferring over piece of paper in the far corner. The attention they were giving it made him feel as if he had stumbled into a meeting of the utmost secrecy and importance. They continued to huddle and whisper even after he had thought they had seen him enter. "I'll be right with you," the one finally said.

"That's him, Raylan Givens, the marshal that Joanne said she knew from high school," the shorter one hissed in hushed tones.

"He grew up nice, very tall and cowboy looking. The new kid is his?"

"Yeah, that's what I told you, he apparently moved back to the area."

"They do have the same eyes. I'll help him."

"No, I sit at the front and it is my responsibility."

The small summit broke up and the short one whose name according to her name tag was Mrs. Waggoner. "Hello there and how can I help you?" she asked her smile ratcheted up to high beam.

"Um, Raylan Givens," he said smiling back as best as he could though he could never compete with her clown-like grin. "My son Nate got into a fight and I'm here to pick him up."

"Oh Nate, yes, he is in with Mr. Teller, the Vice Principal of discipline."

"Okay and which way is that?"

"Just follow me," she said though it wasn't far and he could have easily been pointed in the right direction with a single finger. She knocked on a semi-closed door and was waved inside where she presented the marshal and then backed her way out and disappeared back to the main office.

"Mr. Givens," he said standing up and extending his hand while his eyes fell on Raylan's side arm. He was probably around 6'2" and in his mid-thirties, young enough the kids might be able to identify with him but old enough to make them realize he wasn't their pal, buddy or to be called dude. His voice was also deep enough, that without much effort he could capture the attention of a room if need be. They shook hands and he sat back down indicating that Raylan take the chair next to Nate. "We generally don't allow weapons in the school." He said his gaze resting on Raylan's sidearm.

"And that's a great policy, but I don't leave mine anywhere but on my hip," Raylan explained as he showed the man his badge.

"That's for sure," Nate whispered.

Even though it was barely audible Raylan had heard it and gave his son a quick look. Nate looked down at his sneakers and waited for the vice principal to list his misdeeds.

"Nate was caught in a conflict with another student. Now I have spoken to the other boy and he has already gone home with his mother. I also spoke with several other students who witnessed the melee, and they all seem to side with your son. "

"Okay," Raylan said continuing to look at the school administrator.

"Apparently, Dylan Jenkins was teasing a friend of Nate's and wouldn't stop after Nate asked him to and then Dylan shoved your son and…"

"And I hit him in the gut and then a right cross across his chin which landed him on his ass," Nate finished.

"Thank you for your explanation," Mr. Teller said with a tight smile. "That is pretty much all the details. Dylan is a frequent flier and will be suspended for five days for his involvement and instigation, but since Nate threw the first punch I have no choice but to suspend him for three days. His teachers are getting his work together so he can keep up during his absence." He looked at Nate and said; "be sure you do all your work, you won't get extra time unless there are extenuating circumstances. Do you know what that means?"

"Yes I know what it means; I am after all a scholar and apparently now a pugilist as well." Both men's eye brows rose nearly hitting their hairline. "Missy Harrington said I was as a good as a prizefighter so I attached my own word."

"Pugilist?" Raylan asked.

"Yeah, I just read it in a book."

"What books are you reading?" Mr. Teller asked.

"He has been put in a higher reading group this year," Raylan said.

"I can see that, the one that meets at the college?"

"Not yet, maybe next year," Nate commented looking bored.

"He reads a lot," Raylan said standing up. "I've spoken to him about his language, but I figure he'll eventually grow into it. I'll make sure he does his work; we'll also have a talk about proper school etiquette as well."

"Thank you for coming in Marshal and I'm sure we won't be having many more problems with Nate anytime soon. Norma at the front desk should have all of his work."

They gathered up his papers and made a trip to his locker to get the necessary books and headed out to the car. "Pugilist, that's a pretty damn fancy word," Raylan said.

"Yep, I like learning new words."

"Who were you defending?"

"Tommy, he always picks on Tommy. Dylan picks on lots of kids but none of them defend themselves, I couldn't take it anymore. I watched it in sixth grade, and I'm done standing around doing nothing."

"So you clobbered him."

"Yep, and I'd do it again."

"Did you give any thought to what might have happened had he hit you back?"

"I did, I've watched him, and found that at no point has it ever occurred to him that anybody would fight back. I knew a good shot to the solar plexus would knock the wind out of him leaving him wide open for whatever I chose to do next."

"And now that he knows what you're capable of, do you think he'll go so quietly next time?"

"I think he is a typical bully and won't try anything. Besides, I do practice the kicks that you had me learn. I'll be fine." Nate explained as they pulled away from the curb.

"Well I'm glad to hear it," Raylan said focusing on the road.

"Where are we going?"

"Back to the office, where did you think?"

"I don't know, can't you take me home?"

"I don't think so killer. You can work on your homework while I work. Did you eat lunch yet?"

"Nope I have it right here," Nate said patting his backpack. His restricted diet didn't allow him to eat anything the school had to offer. He hated having to bring his own lunch from home, even while everybody else was griping about their sloppy mush filled trays. It's not that he wanted to eat what they had; it's just that he hated standing out. There were always questions as to why he brought his lunch which then led to his health and he felt even more ostracized.

Back at the office Raylan set him up in the conference room where he diligently ate and worked on his homework. He then pulled out a large book and it looked as if the boy practically climbed into it. The tension in his face eased; his body language changed and his eyes seemed to chew up the words as if they were dessert. It was as if he had stepped into a better world. Raylan could only wish that he could lose himself in a book like his son did and had to admit he was somewhat jealous. Raylan watched as Nate scribbled notes onto a piece of paper and every so often would tap away on his phone; lining up words for his next run-in with the principal he imagined.

"What's the boy doing here?" Art asked.

"Fight at school."

"Really? Didn't know he had it in him."

"Yeah, well he did and now he has three days to live with it."

"Well I have no problem with him being here as long as he stays like that, but Raylan three days is a long time in an eleven year olds life. And what will he do if you are out of the office. I can't have you toting him around with you and I know that boys predilection for finding trouble. I'm afraid if you leave him here I'll find him downstairs taking over for the prosecution in one of the courtrooms."

"I know Art, I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet," Raylan sighed.

"I can call my wife; she loved having him over when you were in Los Angeles. Besides that ought to bore him out of his mind and he'll never get suspended again."

Raylan smiled. "You go ahead and ask her for me."

"Besides, maybe he can get all that last minute yard work done so I don't have to do it," Art winked.

As the day wound down and most left Nate came out and plopped down in Tim's empty chair. "When are we leaving?" he asked.

"When I say so," Raylan said. "Since you're here and are not in any position to complain I think I'll finish up a few more things."

"Hey who's sitting in my chair," Tim said in a deep voice as he headed towards his desk.

"Hey Tim," Nate grinned.

"What you doin' boy?"

"Got into a fight today and am suspended for three days."

"No way."

"Way," Nate declared raising his arms and showing off his biceps. "I put him down for picking on my friend."

"Good for you, stand up for your buds. You gonna be here tomorrow?"

"I'm not sure I don't think Art is comfortable with that. I saw my dad talking to him."

"Well I have an empty closet at home I could store you in," Tim said putting his hand on top of Nate's head.

Nate got up out of Tim's chair. Tim sighed and took the opening slumping down into it. "Long day?" Nate asked.

"Not too bad I suppose, so you gonna give me details or what?" Tim asked.

Raylan was back over speaking with Art about tomorrows specifics. He would drop Nate with Art's wife for the day as she had happily agreed to be his chaperone for his time off from school. He looked over to see his son demonstrating the battle that he had taken part in earlier. He seemed to show the same moves he had described to Raylan earlier; no embellishment. Tim smiled and pulled the boy into his lap as they continued to talk. Nate had really taken to Tim and Raylan was glad the two had formed such a close alliance, as Nate could use any and every distraction offered.

"Did you take your afternoon pill?" Raylan asked as he arrived back at his desk.

"Yep, I got them back from the nurse since I won't be there. I need a refill on the white one." Nate knew all the official names of his medications but liked to refer to them by their color as if that would somehow lessen the seriousness of his illness. Nate's reasoning seemed to be that if the pills necessary to rein in his symptoms were simply little yellow circles and white ovals then he couldn't be all that different than everybody else. Conformity is the partner that every middle-schooler wants to take to the dance.

"Any side effects from the latest addition to your menagerie of drugs?" Raylan asked.

"Not so far, well not that I can tell anyway. I do have a harder time waking up though, so maybe that's one. I haven't been on it long enough to determine some of the others."

"Any relief?" Tim chimed in.

"Not having a great day today," he said.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Tim said his face concerned.

"Me too," Nate agreed.

"Anything I can do for you?"

"Nope, just find a cure for a disease that doesn't really have a whole lot of sufferers, then world peace," Nate said.

"Hmmm, maybe tomorrow, for now I'm out of here; I think there are a few beers with my name on them someplace." Tim said. He then looked at Nate and amended his statement. "Or I'll just go home and watch TV for a while, I'm sure PBS has some good documentaries on."

Nate snickered. "Right, read a book while you're at too."

"See you when I see you," Tim said as he departed. "I left my computer up if you want to play around but no porn!" he said smiling. Nate saluted him as he sat back down in the marshal's chair. Tim was young, good looking guy who had yet to find his niche in the normal world. He put on a brave face but inside he felt awkward at best outside of the confines of the military. He just didn't feel like a typical model civilian and knew his quiet nature often made others suspicious. But Nate Givens had the ability to notice none of Tim's fears and seemed to embrace him for what he was, and gave no thought to what he wasn't. Tim felt not only human but quite normal when the preteen was around.

"When are we leaving?" Nate asked as the office was quickly emptying out.

"In a bit so find something to do. Search for a new book to read or find a game but do not go into any files. And remember everything you do can be traced back to Tim since he signed on, and he's a good shot so I wouldn't piss him off."

Nate sighed and headed to youtube. For over the next hour Raylan busied himself and even left for a brief time only to return and sink down into his chair and put his feet up on the desk. "Are we leaving yet?" Nate demanded.

"Shortly," Raylan answered without opening his eyes.

"I'm ready now," Nate complained.

"Don't you have somebody you can text or something? Or what about that game with the irate birds?"

"Angry birds?" Nate asked rolling his eyes. "I've already beaten all the levels." He held his phone in his hands and thought for a minute before finally getting up and snapping a picture of Raylan in his quiet repose. His fingers then danced across his keyboard and then fell silent. Raylan shook his head and sighed. Nate's phone clanged in response and the boy was off to the texting races his fingers flying in his reply and so it went for the next fifteen minutes until Winona showed up.

"You wanted to see me?" she asked after she pushed at Raylan's feet to make him aware she was there.

"I did," he said smiling.

"I thought so; all those notes and post-it's leading to the original note was a great tip-off as well."

"Just making sure," Raylan answered getting up.

"Hi Nate how are you?" Winona asked seeing the boy as he furiously tapped away on his phone.

"Ready to go home," he replied.

"And that we will do right now. Go shut down Tim's computer and get your backpack." Nate jumped up and did as he was told while Raylan and Winona talked for a few minutes.

"I'm ready," Nate said standing there watching the two adults look far more comfortable with each other than ex-spouses ought to.

"Okay then, oh I have something for you," Raylan said picking up a bag. He pulled out a navy blue hooded sweatshirt that had the marshal's seal on the front. "I have one for you and one for your buddy," he said tossing them to Nate. "Put one on, it's getting chilly outside," Raylan ordered.

Nate shrugged and set his backpack down and pulled on the smaller of the two over his head. "I'm ready," he said tugging up the sleeves so he could find his hands.

The three trooped down to the parking garage and to where Raylan had left the Lincoln. "How come you aren't driving your car?" Nate asked as he slid into the backseat.

"It wouldn't start earlier today; I had it towed to my mechanic. Hopefully I'll hear something tomorrow." Winona explained. "So you and your dad are kind enough to give me a ride home tonight."

"Okay," Nate said stuffing his head phones from his MP3 player into his ears.

The two adults looked at each other and smiled as they heard musical bits and pieces float their way. "He is officially in his own world," Raylan said.

"Suspended for three days huh?" she asked.

"Yeah, he gets to spend three rousing days with Mrs. Mullen's raking leaves and trimming bushes."

"Sounds great," Winona said glancing back at Nate.

They continued to chat when suddenly the car was no longer moving in its intended direction. Raylan fought to control it as it spun on its own accord after being violently bumped by another car. It finally ran out of momentum and he knew this was no accident; flashes of the fellows he had met earlier in the day assaulted him as he yelled at Winona to stay and down. He opened the back door and waved for Nate to crawl his way. "You okay?"

"It hurts where the seatbelt held me."

"Could be worse, stay down and stay with me," Raylan snapped at both of his passengers. They complied as Raylan fired off a couple of shots over the car. "Move, now," he barked.

They all moved as one unit ending up in some generic building. Raylan was on the phone describing their location and the events that had landed them there while they all moved deeper into the structure, leaving the front office behind and entering the cavernous warehouse. The panic was not the least bit hidden on Winona's face and although Nate was a little distressed, he simply looked to his father for guidance, his face registering nothing but resignation of the situation they were in; cool and calm just like his dad.

Raylan looked around and sat both Winona and Nate down and pulled out his gun as he cradled the shotgun. "Do you remember how to shoot?" he asked his ex-wife.

"Yeah but it's been years."

Raylan hesitated a minute and then handed the gun to Nate. "I took him to the range last week. Listen, stay here unless you get a clear path to the exit, and if they get between me and you, you shoot to kill. Do you understand me?" Nate nodded emphatically as he once again pushed up his too long sleeves. "Where do you aim?" Nate pointed to the chest. "Good boy, breath and squeeze, don't jerk the trigger."

Nate nodded again. "I got it pops."

Raylan raced off to get himself situated mouthing the word 'pops' as he did.

The marshal disappeared into the darkness. They could only hear the scuffle of feet, unsure of whom they belonged to. There wasn't much time to get alarmed as the festivities began instantly. Winona had grabbed onto Nate's arm and held on tightly as she looked around. Nate searched the area for movement as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. He would have to be certain of who he was shooting at before he pulled the trigger.

"We should go towards that exit," Winona whispered.

"No, we need to stay here, they'll see us if we move and besides we don't know if that door will even open," Nate hissed back pulling his arm from her grasp. He looked up and saw his father moving around on the other side of the room. He heard a noise nearby and saw a foot with a shoe he didn't recognize. Nate took a deep breath and lay down on his side with his arms supporting the gun. He tracked the shoe as it moved and when it hesitated he exhaled, he thought of his missed opportunity with Coover and squeezed the trigger. The scream was instantaneous and suddenly, as if he possessed super powers Raylan swooped in and finished the man off.

"One down," Nate said crawling back over to where he had been to find Winona was gone. The clatter of feet moving on concrete and metal echoed off the walls. The gun felt heavy in his hand and the smell of gun powder was strong. His heart was pounding but the beat remained even, he wasn't afraid, he knew this intruder didn't stand a chance with Raylan on the prowl. He looked up and saw the remaining hit man look ahead of where Nate was and raise his gun towards Winona. Nate got to his knees and aimed but before he could follow through the man had entered into the past tense falling forward into death. He looked up and saw his father standing there gun in hand a satisfied look on his face.

After the police arrived and secured the scene they drove back to the office for the venerable statements to take place. The mood was super charged and words were flowing in different directions. Nate had shot a man this time and even though it hadn't been the kill shot, there was a lot to explain and deal with.

"Is this your idea of father son time, a shootout?" Art asked with disbelief.

"No of course not," Raylan answered in a loud whisper. "I was on my own time driving a…a friend home and my son was in the car, something that happens every day." Raylan stated. "I gave him a weapon so he could defend himself if necessary and that is what he did. I wasn't going to leave him helpless. I did nothing wrong here and neither did he."

"I had the shot and I took it; these men only wanted to kill us and the only thing that would stop them would be to kill them first. We couldn't hesitate or we'd all be dead. I was glad I could help. Instead of looking into what happened you need to look into why it happened." Nate argued having come up to the conversation. "We don't even know who it was they were after."

Art opened his mouth and closed it again; Nate had raised a good question. Since there had been some trouble with Gary and his business dealings it had originally been assumed that they were going after Winona but now that it had been mentioned, Raylan had shot up to the top of the list.

"Now, that makes more sense," Art said looking over at Raylan. "How many people have you pissed off this week?" he asked the marshal.

Raylan's face reflected the disgust he felt but before he could answer Gary Hawkins walked in and began to shout his unhappiness at the whole ordeal. He railed on, accusing Raylan of putting his wife in danger and being careless. As the fracas headed for a free-for-all Gary noticed Nate standing several feet away. The boy was studying Gary as if he was reading an encyclopedia, taking in every word and its meaning.

"Who is that?" Gary asked.

"That's Nate, Raylan's son," Winona said.

"He was with you?"

"Yes, why would it be so odd for my son to be with me in my car?" Raylan asked.

Gary didn't seem to have an answer. "Come on Winona let's go home."

"Who says I'm going with you," she countered.

"Why don't you two talk about this in the elevator, Rachel you stay with Mrs. Hawkins," Art directed as the group broke up grumbling in their own directions.

"Tim, I want you to stay with Raylan and Nate. Nate I guess I have to tell my wife that your plans are cancelled for now. And you," Art said pointing at Raylan are not to give Tim a hard time."

Tim stood and looked at Raylan's damaged car. "Wow, bummer dude. Nate do you want to ride with me?"

"No he's going to ride with me, I'm his father and he's my responsibility," Raylan snapped.

"Sure, I didn't mean anything by it," Tim replied a bit surprised by the outburst.

"No, I'm sorry, that didn't come out right. It's been a long night." Raylan sighed.

"He's a bit touchy, I think I better calm him down," Nate said smiling at Tim.

"So how's the trigger finger?" Raylan asked.

"Terrific, I can't believe I got to shoot somebody," he said grinning.

"Yeah great aiming Tex, what would you have done if I hadn't been there to put him down?"

"You sound like your slaughtering a cow. I guess I would have shot him in the chest. But I have to be honest and say I'm glad that I didn't kill him. What does it feel like to take a life?"

"That is a loaded question if I ever heard one. First of all I only take a life when I'm in fear for mine or any other innocent person; taking a life is the biggest decision anybody can make and it is often made in a split second and obviously there is no going back. Each person deals with it differently and each shooting has its own set of circumstances."

"Do you ever think about the ethical issues? What this might mean for your after- life?"

"Wow," Raylan said smiling, "you've gone all religious on me. Well I don't think what my future brings has ever been totally up to me; I only hope I have done the best that I can in the situations I found myself in. But you need to go only as far as your conscious allows you to. Sometimes things happen for a reason but you need to be ready for anything and everything to happen and if you can't then things may turn out very differently."

"I just wonder about the big picture sometimes. I'd like to think there is some kind of control in the midst of the chaos."

"Hey why were you staring at Gary back at the office?"

"It's what I do…I study and learn."

"And what did you learn from Gary?"

"He did know you had a kid didn't he?"

"Yeah he's aware of your existence."

"Then why was he so surprised I was with you? If it was such a shock then he must have expected you to be alone with Winona feeding his fantasy that you two are having an affair; a fantasy that would make it okay for him to take a proactive action in getting rid of you."

"Well shit," Raylan said with sigh, "you might be onto something kid."

"Maybe, I'd watch your back. You stepped into his life in a bad way from the beginning and he's probably pretty pissed off at you now. I don't know if hitmen advertise in the paper, but as you already uncovered he has been involved with some unseemly characters."

Tim pulled into the driveway behind the Lincoln. "Your bumper is barely on, every bump you hit I thought it was going to fly off."

"And yet you stayed so close," Raylan replied as he tossed the keys ahead to Nate who unlocked the front door.

"The good news is we have a guest room, but the bad news is it doesn't have any furniture. The couch isn't too bad," Nate explained.

"I have a sleeping bag I generally do better on the floor anyway. I'll get it out of my trunk," he said heading back to his car.

"You get ready for bed," Raylan directed Nate.

"But I'm not tired," he complained.

"Then stare at your ceiling."

Nate headed off for the bedtime ritual leaving Raylan and Tim in the living room. "Since you don't mind sleeping on the floor could you sleep on Nate's floor? I'd feel better if you were in the same room as him."

"No problem, wait does he snore?" Tim asked smiling.

Raylan laughed, "no, but he does usually get up at least once to use the bathroom in the night and tends to get up on the early side."

"Not an issue, I'm an early riser myself."

Nate was in bed reading when Tim came in and unfurled his sleeping bag. "Guess I'm in here with you tonight kid."

"Do you snore?" Nate asked a serious look on his face.

"Don't think so, but why don't you stay awake all night and let me know in the morning," Tim said stuffing the pillow that Raylan had given him under his head. "Don't read too long, you need your beauty sleep."

"Funny," Nate said closing his book and tossing it at Tim. He then reached over and turned his bedside lamp off.

TBC


	18. Fight and Flight part II

**Fight or Flight II**

Raylan walked into the living room the next morning stretching as he went. Tim was sitting at the table reading the paper and drinking a cup of coffee. "Morning," he said after taking a sip.

"You are an early riser," the senior marshal said heading towards the coffee pot in the kitchen.

"Ahh yes, but not as early as your son which would have been good to know. I thought he was just getting up to pee except he never came back. It was barely five. I got up to find him doing Tai Chi in the living room."

"Sorry about that, I forget he falls beyond the realm of normal in that capacity."

"Yeah, well I got my chi in order so it wasn't all bad."

"Good to know," Raylan said grimacing after tasting the hot coffee. "Um, Tim, where is my son?"

"I walked him down to his buddy's house so he could help him study for his spelling test. I'm going back to get him in five minutes. I checked the area and put a machine gun in his backpack. The neighborhood is quieter than death in the morning."

"Fine, why don't you go get him now so I can make a phone call without having to pretend to take a shower."

Tim smiled and reached for his jacket. He and Nate got back to the house several minutes later just as Raylan was finishing up his phone call and shower. "Good morning son," he said buttoning his shirt.

"Hey," Nate responded.

"How was studying?"

"Fine, I had to fight off a platoon of evil doers with grenade launchers to get there but I made it," Nate joked.

"Good for you, there's nothing like starting the day off with a little competition."

"They said to tell you hi," Nate said keeping his face serious.

Raylan smiled and nodded and Tim just grinned enjoying Nate's humor.

"Okay gang, it's time to buy some ice cream. I'll drive my car so I can get some estimates while we're out," Raylan explained. "Nate make sure you have your pills because I'm not sure when we'll get back; Tim, Nate can go with you."

"Why do we need two cars?" Tim asked.

"Well I may have to leave mine at the garage and without yours how will we get around?"

"Of course," Tim smiled knowing that at some point Raylan was going to take off. He had already been fairly warned so he could only do his best to keep the man within his sight. It was going to be a long day.

After the third convenience store Nate was wishing he was in school and Tim was wishing he was with him. "I'm going to go use the restroom," Raylan said handing the ice cream and some money to Tim. "I know what you're thinking and do I look like a guy would slip out the window of a restroom?"

Tim stayed quiet and shook his head at Nate who was absorbed in a magazine totally ignoring the adults. "Wait a minute; does this store have a bathroom?" Tim asked.

Nate turned and smiled, "you must have missed this class in marshal school." He put the magazine back and took the ice cream from Tim's hand and put it back in the freezer. "So we can go to a movie, go carts or the mall."

A half hour later they trekked across the massive parking lot. "Help me remember where we parked the car," Tim said as they headed towards the entrance of the mall.

The two went through a side entrance and passed by the movie theater. They went towards the middle and found a map. "Let's walk this way and then go upstairs," Nate suggested.

"Sure kid, whatever you think," Tim said winking, hoping that Raylan wasn't getting into too much trouble.

They had checked out several stores and Nate had Tim laughing in most of him with his playful actions; putting on hats, modeling skirts and finding all kinds of crazy bumper stickers and posters. They stopped to get some ice cream since they had both been in the mood since the convenience store.

"What kind kiddo?" Tim asked.

"Vanilla, it's the only flavor I can have."

"Two vanilla," Tim told the clerk.

"Awww are you two playing hooky?" she asked as she began to scoop the ice cream. "Your son is adorable."

Before Tim could correct the clerk Nate jumped in. "Yes I am," he interrupted. "Every so often Dad pulls me out of school for some quality time."

"That's great," she cooed handing Nate his cone.

They walked and ate until they came to a pet goods store that had several puppies and cats from a local animal shelter.

Nate looked up and licked his lips as he finished the last bit of his cone.

"Which do you like better, cats or dogs?" Tim asked.

"They both have their benefits. Cats are easy but dogs are more fun, but they take a lot of time and room in the bed."

"Would you like to hold one," the woman from the shelter asked.

"Sure," Nate answered.

"Is it okay with your dad?"

"Is it okay Dad?" Nate turned and asked Tim.

Tim unsure of how he felt continually being confused for Nate's father merely nodded and watched as Nate pulled the puppy to his chest. The woman began to talk about how fantastic the puppy was and what special relationships dogs and boys have while Tim kept smiling. Suddenly Nate looked like the eleven year old boy he truly was. He wasn't the boy who had marched into the woods after an armed faction or helped put a pedophile away or the kid that witnessed his father shoot an old friend, his grandfather and several strangers or was under the protection of a federal marshal due to being chased down and nearly shot the night before. He was simply a boy playing with a puppy.

"Please Dad," Nate whined holding the puppy up.

"Not in a million years kid, we need to move along," he said looking at his watch.

Nate handed the puppy back and followed Tim to the stairs. "Can you take me to the range?"

"Your dad takes you there."

"I know, but you can show me things he can't."

"Maybe one day with your dad's permission." Tim said.

"What was it like in Afghanistan?"

"It was war, and war is never good."

"Did you kill a lot of people?"

"My fair share I suppose, what's with all the questions?"

"I don't know, just curious I guess."

"Look we'll figure out who was after you last night, you'll be safe."

"I know, it's just that my life is so different from everybody else's. First off I'm sick and can't do a lot of stuff or eat what everybody else does and then to top it all off my dad runs around and shoots people. Some days I just want this to be my life; the simplicity of the mall. My mom would take to the mall in Miami and we would suck up the air conditioning and just relax and have fun."

"You can have fun with Raylan," Tim countered.

"I know, and I do, but it's like he is always looking over his shoulder instead of at me."

"He has a lot on his mind, we all do, it's just the nature of the job."

"Well I don't like it; I don't want to think about anything happening to him. I mean if it can happen to my mom then it can certainly happen to him."

Tim wasn't sure what to say as they continued their march to the car. They climbed inside, Tim wishing he knew what to say. This kid just poured his heart out to him and he was clueless as to how to respond. Nate was staring at his phone looking at the apps that colored his screen while Tim navigated the parking lot that like so many high traffic spots was full of chaotic bedlam; cars going every which way and not paying the least bit off attention. He looked over at his charge and pulled the car into an empty slot. He had no idea what to say but he knew he needed to say something, so he turned and looked over and just started talking.

"Bad things happen to good people all the time, but you found that out the minute your mother died. I have no idea why the world is the way it is and I have no idea how to find the words that will make your day better. What I do know is that your dad loves you very much; I can see it in every part of his day. Sometimes it just seems as if unseen forces pull you in directions you have no choice but to follow."

"Like you being a great marksman?"

"Right, it's what I am and sometimes it doesn't seem as if it was my choice. Your dad is an amazing lawman; he has a rapport with people and can handle situations that would consume everybody else in their attempts."

"He can't be anybody else other than what he is." Nate mumbled.

Tim inhaled and looked over at the very insightful boy and gave a weak smile. "Right and it doesn't mean he loves you less or doesn't care; it's just that there's a job to do and he is the one to do it."

"Even though it's dangerous," Nate added.

"Sometimes it is, but I've never seen anybody draw on a person faster than your daddy. I know life is scary and full of horror, much of which you've seen firsthand, but none of us can stop living or doing what we were meant to do out of fear or we've already lost."

"I'm supposed to die first, the doctor didn't think I could hear him but I did. He said that chances were good that my body would give out one day and that it might be before my parents," Nate said calmly.

"I'm sure he didn't mean for you to hear that. Well any one of us could die at any time; I personally prefer to remain blissfully ignorant."

"Yeah if I had to guess the parent that would die by gunfire it wouldn't have been my mother."

"It is all a mystery," Tim said putting the car back in drive.

"Life is a mystery, but most especially when it's all over," Nate said causing Tim to hesitate realize no truer words were spoken.

"So gang,we are meeting up and hanging out at Winona and Gary's place tonight," Raylan said as Tim and Nate got back to the house. "Did you two have a good day?" he asked kissing Nate on the top of his head.

"Yeah we went to the mall." Tim answered looking to Raylan for an update on his day. "Your kid is one of the best drivers of all time; he got into one of those simulators and had the highest score." Tim shared.

"Apparently I drive with reckless abandon," Nate said grinning.

"Well that's just awesome, you're driving then," Raylan grinned tossing Nate the keys.

"I remember when I was little and you let me sit in your lap and steer."

"You remember that?" Raylan asked secretly pleased.

"Yeah, I do," Nate said thoughtfully.

A half hour later the trio showed up at the Hawkins home Nate carrying a small pizza with his favorite toppings sans the sauce and a small jug of milk.

"Come on in guys, hello Nate how are you?" Winona asked smiling. "I'll show you to the kitchen. Gary you remember Nate, Raylan's son."

"Yeah how are you?" Gary managed to squeeze out, looking very uncomfortable.

Nate took a long look at the man before following Winona into the kitchen. She set him up at the breakfast bar and sat down next to him. "How are you doing?"

"Fine," Nate said taking a big bite out of his pizza. "You?"

"A little shaky actually. I don't know how you can act so calm," she said hugging herself. When Nate didn't respond she asked, "What kind of toppings to you have there?"

"Hamburger, mushrooms and black olives, extra cheese and no sauce."

"No sauce?"

"Can't have it in my diet, too acidic. I think I give your husband the creeps."

Winona looked momentarily confused. "What makes you say that?"

"He gets nervous whenever I look at him."

"Why would he do that?"

"Because he has something to hide," Nate said as he chugged some milk.

"Nate," Raylan barked from the doorway. He smiled at his startled ex-wife. "Sorry, just need a minute with my son."

"Sure, I'm going to tidy up a bit," she said leaving the two Givens alone.

"Hey, I thought we were going to keep this between us."

"We were?" Nate asked.

"Well we are, we don't know anything for sure so zip it, the less they know the better," Raylan explained.

"You don't think she might want to know she is married to a man that wants her ex axed?"

"Nate just do as I ask."

"Fine," Nate snapped.

"And Nate that order goes for now and into the future."

The awkward evening had stretched to epic proportions as the entire group sat around on the ginormous couch and all stared at the TV that none of them were truly watching. The televised offering not nearing the drama they were all intimately involved in.

Nate had slumped against Raylan as he finally gave up his fight to stay awake. Winona had gotten up and found a blanket to cover him with as Gary did his best to look anywhere but at the father and son unit taking up residence in his house. With Nate's earlier conclusion and Gary's agonized facial expressions Raylan had no doubt that there was something to the theory his son had put together earlier. Finally they decided to end the torturous evening and call it night.

"Tim or Raylan whichever of you wants it, we have another guest room upstairs; it's the first door on the right, next to the bathroom." Winona explained as she headed upstairs completely ignoring Gary. Rachel, who had already been guarding the house, had gone up to her resident room an hour earlier, tired of dealing with the awkwardness.

"I'll take the first watch while you get some shut eye and you can relieve me later," Raylan said getting up gently laying Nate on the couch.

"And I can count on you being here when I come down to relieve you?" Tim asked with his eyes wide.

"Yeah, I'm telling you I'll be here so I'll be here. Hey, I told you I what I was going to do today."

"And now you're telling me you are going to stay."

"Yeah so I'm going to stay," Raylan stated honestly meaning it.

"Fine, I'll take Nate and put him in the bed and take my new customary spot next to him on the floor."

"Sounds great, I'll go get your sleeping bag," Raylan offered. Tim pulled his keys from his pocket and tossed them to Raylan as he picked up the sleeping Nate off the couch.

"You need to feed this kid, he doesn't weigh anything," Tim said cradling the boy in his arms.

"I try but he can't eat anything. Be careful don't bang his head into the wall; he has enough problems already without brain damage."

Tim looked at Raylan and gave him a fake smile then turned and carefully maneuvered his way up the stairs with no body parts hitting any inanimate objects.

Raylan decided he was very grateful for Nate embracing Tim and vice versa. As a single parent he was realizing the necessity of a strong network of friends and babysitters. As soon as he stepped outside he saw the idling vehicle across the street. He did his best to study the scene while looking as if he hadn't even noticed the intrusion. Raylan grabbed the ever traveling sleeping bag, turned and walked back into the house. He ran upstairs with numerous scenarios going through his head.

"He never even woke up," Tim announced as Raylan entered.

He looked at his son who slept on as if he didn't have a care in the world. Tim took the sleeping bag and unfurled it and then grabbed a throw pillow from the chair in the corner. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Whenever Nate wakes up is fine."

"You'll be here?" Tim asked.

"Yes, I'll be here." Raylan assured.

But of course Raylan wasn't. It soon became clear after abducting the lurking intruder that Nate had been absolutely right about Gary masterminding his demise. He had hired Winn Duffy to make all his problems go away; those problems being Raylan. But apparently he had a heart after all and tried to call it off; his lost conscience found once again when he saw the face of the future orphan or perhaps the realization that Raylan most likely wouldn't be the only one dying; no witnesses is generally the hit man creed. But it was that face that had stared at him and deduced what Gary had been up to that had been his undoing. Raylan had taken his son seriously and it had paid off. He had a head start on the theory and where it led and was quite prepared to pick up the necessary game pieces and finish this diversion. By the end of the night Gary was heading several time zones away and Duffy was hoping to never see the marshal again.

"Thought you were going to be here; you said you were going to be here. So imagine my surprise when your son and I come tromping down the stairs at the ungodly hour of five o'clock to find an empty room and your car missing. Try explaining that to an unhappy eleven year old who wants to know where the hell his father is."

"I am sorry about that, I had fully intended to be here but something came up." Raylan defended.

"Something came up," Tim said nodding his head. "Always with the excuses." He accused acting like an angry wife.

"Where is my son?"

"In the kitchen trying to find something he can eat without dire consequences."

"Consequences life is just full of them isn't it?" Raylan asked nobody in particular.


	19. Farewell

**Farewell**

Nate walked out of school to see his father standing there waiting for him. He knew from the look on his father's face, this unexpected reunion held nothing positive. "Hey Dad, what's wrong?"

"What makes you think anything is wrong?"

"Because you never pick me up and I can see it in your eyes."

Raylan put his arm around his son and began to walk him towards the car. "You are perceptive. I do have some bad news."

"It's not about Cade is it? He doesn't have to go back to Afghanistan does he?" Nate asked his voice unsettled.

"No, Cade is just fine. It's Helen."

Nate instantly looked more relaxed. "What about her?"

"She was shot and killed last night?"

Nate looked like he had been kicked in the stomach. "By who?"

"We don't know yet."

"Where was Arlo? Why wasn't he there? Was the bullet meant for him?" Nate asked in a rush.

"We don't know much of anything right now. But I promise you, I will find out who did this and they will be punished for it."

The next few days were a blur as the funeral arrangements were made with Raylan going back and forth between Harlan and Lexington. Nate unhappily went to school, mourning the woman he was just getting to know. He knew how important she had been to Raylan as a child, as well as into his adulthood and she was doing her best to give Nate the feminine touch that he lacked. Now she was gone and he felt tossed in that same vortex of despair that had consumed him after his mother's death.

Raylan watched his son's sadness with anger; frustrated that once again violence had infiltrated their world and taken someone close. There was no time for grief right now as Raylan's eyes were focused on vengeance and on vengeance alone. And it was with that in mind that he had found and dragged Dickie Bennett to the middle of the woods with every intent on killing him. But while Dickie cried and begged for his life he could hear Helen telling him this wasn't the way to solve the problems of the world. That revenge was best left to bitter old fools like Arlo and those had no shred of decency like the Bennett's.

Raylan looked down at Dickie, on his knees crying like a child who was denied his favorite toy and suddenly none of this made sense. He was supposedly above this; he had a badge that proved it. He and Nadine had left the backwoods judgment far behind to give their son something better. But now he was in danger of falling into the ways that he had tried so hard to depart from. He had always stood behind every death he had caused as justified and necessary, but this, this was retaliation pure and simple. No judge, no jury, simply home grown retribution. He could do this and it would be all over, but could he ever look at his son in the eye again? After a moment he decided the answer was no.

The funeral was held at the house where Arlo had been successful at keeping his feelings internal, showing Nate exactly where his father got it from. There was no doubt they all felt the hole that Helen had left but few could really show it. History ran deep in this part of the state, and your history said death would call and claim those you loved and you would remain stoic and sort things out when given the chance. Arlo remained hard, but finally Raylan showed a crack in his exterior whether it was for the benefit of others or true to himself was uncertain.

Nate stood and studied those around him, he didn't know most of the Harlan contingency so he found his eyes on Arlo much of the time. The old man stood, his eyes unblinking, giving off a combination of rage and disbelief. Nate saw Winona continually look at the gravestone that sat waiting for Raylan. This day served as a reminder that it doesn't matter how far you run or where you go; you are who you are.

After the service as the adults milled around and began the awkward conversations that follow such circumstances, Nate began to wander off the property. He needed to get away from the toxic atmosphere, unsure if it was his sadness or the surrounding apathy that bothered him the most.

Not far from the house was a concrete bridge that spanned across a swirling creek that had swelled to the size of a small river. Nate made his way over to the edge, leaning against the guardrail as he peered down at the churning water. It never ceased to amaze him as to how easily a life could be lost, just an error in judgment, a slip, bad timing, or simply bad luck could all be responsible for the final blow that reduced you to dust. His mother deciding to kill some time only to have it kill her. Helen walking into her own kitchen to be met with enough hate that her death somehow was a necessity. If he leaned just a bit further he could join the masses that had gone before him, so much, could be lost so easily.

"You planning on jumping?" Arlo's voice asked from behind him.

"Shouldn't you still be at your wife's funeral?"

"Had to take a break."

"You could at least pretend to be interested that your wife is dead."

"You think I'm not?"

"I think that you are indifferent. I think that the bullet was meant for you and you are relieved that it didn't find you. I think that there is nothing in the world that can change you, including Helen's death. And I think everything I have heard about you is true. I don't think you are capable of feeling anything beyond yourself."

"Don't tell me how I feel."

"I'm not telling you how to feel, I'm telling you how I feel."

"You are your father's son." Arlo said his blue eyes ice cold.

"And he is your son. I would like to think that when I die, he will mourn me and I believe he will."

"It wouldn't be natural for you to die first."

"Chronic illness clouds ones quest for self-preservation. Anyway it is nice to know one is loved, it is just unfortunate that you no longer have that."

"You are an even bigger smart ass than your father," Arlo commented as Nate began to head back to the house to find Raylan.

"At least I have achieved something in my lifetime," Nate said his back turned to his grandfather.

Raylan finished a conversation with another well-wisher when he noticed that Nate was coming up from the road. He sauntered down to meet him, noticing that Arlo was nowhere to be seen.

"Were you with Arlo?" he asked.

"Why would I ever be with him," Nate replied as exhaustion began to creep over him.

"Absolutely no good reason whatsoever," Raylan said as he saw his father tracing Nate's recent steps.


	20. Changes

**Changes**

"So what is going on?" Nate asked both Raylan and Winona one night over dinner.

"What makes you ask?" Raylan questioned.

"You two have been acting weird, speaking in hushed tones, secretive. What's going on?"

"Well we do have some news," Winona said putting her fork down.

She had finally told Raylan the other night that she was pregnant. She wasn't sure how he would react but he was genuinely happy. "I haven't been this happy since I heard those words the last time," he beamed.

"Really, I wasn't sure if it would be good news," Winona said relieved.

"Of course it's good news. This will give me something positive to think about and put this damn money issue behind us."

"I am so sorry about involving you. It was such a stupid thing to do," Winona admitted.

Back at the dinner table Raylan knew that Nate had realizing they were holding out on him and he hoped this would solve his quest for information.

"Well, you're going to be a big brother," Winona announced.

"How far along are you?" Nate instantly asked.

"Not too far."

"Well what else have you been hiding? This goes back further," Nate stated acting as if he hadn't heard his sibling status.

"Son, didn't you hear her? We're going to have a baby; you're going to have a baby brother or sister." Raylan explained.

"Yeah I got that."

"You're not excited?" Winona asked cautiously.

"Well, no offense, but this probably only complicates matters. Look, sure I'm happy for you both, but…"

"But you don't think we'll stay together," Raylan interrupted.

"Not my place to say," Nate said scooping up some mashed potatoes.

"Well that answer had a lot of tact," Winona said unsure what to think of the entire exchange.

Nate walked into the office looking for his father. He could see him in Art's office and the exchange looked awkward. He walked over to Tim's desk and continued to watch the conversation unfold.

"Are they fighting?" he asked Tim.

"No more than usual," Tim replied. "Why?"

"Just wondering."

"No offense, but your father has the knack of bringing out the worst in every situation."

"None taken, try living with him."

"How did you get here? Does he know you're coming?"

"Hmm, maybe, I texted him a few minutes ago. My friends mother dropped me off."

The tête-à-tête broke up and Raylan pulled his phone out of his pocket and then looked over at his son. "A little more warning next time," he said.

"Sorry but I was with Tommy and his mom and she was going to sort her yarn when we got back and I couldn't think of any other polite way to get out of it other than saying you texted requesting my presence."

"I see."

"Everything okay with you and Art?"

"Fine, why do you ask?"

"Just looked a bit uncomfortable in there."

"He's my boss; sometimes it can be uncomfortable between a boss and his employee."

"So it's okay?"

"Yeah, fine, absolutely nothing to worry about," Raylan assured.

Nate knew that something had happened most likely at work and must involve Winona in some manner, but nobody was going to include him in the current trial so he would have to hope that it ran its course without any lasting consequences.

One evening as his father and Winona were staring at the sonogram photo in the living room Nate's phone rang. He noticed it was Loretta so he casually removed himself from the room for more privacy.

"Hey," Nate said quietly as he closed his bedroom door.

"I need a favor," she asked equally quiet.

"What is it?"

"Can you get a gun?"

"What, why, why do you need a gun?"

"Never mind, forget I asked. The last thing I want to do is get you involved."

"Well, just by calling me and asking me for a gun, you have involved me."

"You wouldn't understand."

"Try me," Nate challenged.

"You're not from here."

"But I am, I've just been removed for a while. But the method to the madness is as deep in my blood as it in yours."

Loretta inhaled and told Nate her intentions.

Raylan looked in his rearview mirror to see his son standing at the bus stop, back pack slung over his shoulder, enduring look on his face. He wasn't sure exactly how much Nate knew or suspected about what was happening in Harlan. The whole coal mine fiasco had tensions running high, Helen's death only added to the mistrust and Raylan knew the anarchy would only continue to escalate. He also knew his presence would be required down south he just had no idea under what premise.

Not much later that morning the premise became clear. A call taking him to the foster home where Loretta resided began the journey he seemed destined to take. "How long has she been gone?" Raylan asked Loretta's foster parents.

"We're not sure an hour maybe longer, but there's something else," the man whispered. "I didn't tell the cops, well because I'm not supposed to have a gun."

"Let me guess, the gun is missing?" Raylan asked.

The man nodded. "Thank you for being honest," Raylan said quietly already heading back to his car.

"What are you doing?" Winona asked him, already alarmed.

"I have to go get her," he explained.

"You don't even know where she is going."

"Yes I do, she's going to Harlan to avenge her father's death."

"How do you know that?"

"Because that's what I would do. Look I'll take you to work and I'll be back in time to pick you up."

"You can drop me off, but I'm not promising you that I'll be here when you get back," Winona answered.

The answer was like a slap to the face, but Raylan felt he had no choice in the matter. They went their separate ways but as Winona sat at her desk the more desperate her mood became. She was extremely uneasy about Raylan going to Harlan and feared for his life. Her concerns finally drove her to the marshal's office to talk to Art. As she waited for the elevator her phone rang.

In Harlan things had gone from bad to worse, gun battles reigned with shots being fired and explosions taking more than the structures that they engulfed. It wasn't long before Dickie found another victim in the form of Ava. This feud was far from over.

Back at the Federal Building Winona found Art and quickly asked for an audience that was immediately granted. "Now Winona it's always a pleasure to see you but please don't ask about Glynco."

"No that's not what this is about. Look Art, I'm really worried about Raylan being down in Harlan. You know how they feel about him. I'm afraid they'll go after him."

"Then maybe that is what has to happen. This office cannot chase him around the state and interfere with his self-destructive ways."

"There is one more thing. The school just called me; Nate didn't show up today. They couldn't get through to Raylan so they tried me. He was at the bus stop this morning. Art I'm afraid he is on his way to Harlan with Loretta. He'll be right in the middle of this mess and Raylan has no idea."

Art exhaled and closed his eyes in silent condemnation. He knew exactly what the boy was doing and they both knew it left Art no choice.

Nate sat in the backseat watching the driver closely. Loretta had known him well enough to entrust him with their transportation to Harlan, but he had bucked when he saw the gun in Loretta's bag.

"Whoa now, you can't go up there with a gun," he stated.

"I can and I will; now if you want to get paid then you keep on driving. If not then let us off here and we'll hitchhike the rest of the way," Loretta replied.

"Look, just get us within a few miles of Harlan and then you can pretend this never happened," Nate added not too keen on the idea of hitchhiking.

Wade Messer was very uncomfortable but decided that his need for money outweighed his concern for the two kids he was going to drop off in a potential war zone. He continued to follow the road south pretending everything was normal.

They had managed to convince Wade to drop them off near the Bennett's store. The wagons had circled and there were quite a few of Harlan's prominent citizens taking up space in front of the Bennett's homestead. Nate noticed that feathers weren't ruffled enough for his father to be in the area and from his spot hidden in the nearby trees he wondered where Raylan was.

Things hadn't gone quite as planned for Raylan who had found himself hanging upside down from a tree. Suddenly he heard Boyd Crowder's voice and for once in his life felt relief at the man's arrival. He hadn't been exactly sure how far Dickie would have taken this little caper but the rough and tough marshal was beginning to become concerned as he had been wacked more than once with the wooden baseball bat. He thought of Winona begging him not to go, he thought of Nadine and the possibility he may very soon see her again, but most of all he thought of Nate and who would be forced to tell him his father had been beaten like a piñata at birthday party. His ribs ached his head throbbed but as he crashed to the ground it took all he had to keep the cool marshal exterior he was known for. He had never given in to hysteria, he didn't see the point in panicking, as it only served to waste time and energy. If fate had its fingers on you then running around shrieking and begging wasn't going to change a damn thing. It was apparently something that ran in the family as Nate was rarely, if ever ruffled.

After dusting himself off Raylan righted his ship and looked to Boyd for assistance. "Now I need Dickie to get near the Bennett's. If I can't get there then I can't help Loretta," he explained.

"But this man shot Ava and is responsible for her pain and suffering and I know you aren't good with that. Dickie has to die; I think we can agree on that can't we?"

"I have no problem with your vigilante justice in theory, but I need him to save a fourteen year old girl. What happens after that…well I don't have time to be concerned about the future right now." Raylan explained to a frustrated Boyd.

Boyd unhappily conceded and allowed Raylan to leave with Dickie vowing that this wasn't over. Dickie thrilled at his last minute reprieve didn't allow himself to get too excited as a gun was now held to his head by a man he had just beaten the crap out of. Raylan never had an issue with pulling the trigger and his amnesty might be very short lived.

Nate knew there was no holding Loretta back. "I can't go, Doyle knows me and I'm sure won't let any Givens past him. I'll do what I can from here," he explained. "It looks like a damn hillbilly convention," he said as he slid a bullet into the chamber.

"That's who we are," Loretta said quietly.

"No, this is who we are," Nate said holding up his gun, "that is who we don't want to become," he said nodding his head at the vengeful crowd just waiting for an excuse to start shooting.

"Aren't they the same thing?" she asked.

"It's up to us to distinguish the difference."

Loretta unsure of what Nate as trying to tell her readied her gun. "Wish me luck."

"Luck isn't what I was thinking. Are you sure you want to do this? I mean let justice take its course. At worst you could be killed at best you will have to carry the death of someone else on your shoulders."

"She has to carry my daddy's death on hers."

"Then let her do that, let it drag her down her remaining years. Don't take her burden from her."

"Nate, I can't pretend it never happened. I can't move on without dragging this with me everywhere I go. Let me put it to rest."

"It's not up to me, this is your choice."

Nate watched her backtrack so it appeared she just came up from the road. Though she was initially viewed with suspicious eyes, Doyle gave the all clear and allowed her to go up and talk to Mags.

Nate sighed and watched the gathering grow restless and soon followed suit. He wasn't even sure why he came, but then he remembered; he only hoped that Art followed the trail that he had laid down. He swatted a swarm of gnats that had begun to bug him when a car pulled up with Dickie Bennett driving at Raylan's not so gentle insistence. He automatically stepped back, deeper into the trees at the sight of his father. He could barely hear what Raylan was saying but there was no doubt what he had come for. He knew Loretta was about to do something she may regret for the rest of her life and he was prepared to do whatever it took to protect her from herself and the entire crowd that continued to mill around, guns at the ready.

Suddenly there was a gunshot and the bullets began to volley like a game of deadly dodgeball. Nate doing the opposite of what any normal child would do stepped forward and realized that this place was deeply embedded in his blood despite his mother's best efforts. Destiny is simply that; a path that seemingly can't be changed. Raylan had fought it, Nadine had fought it on behalf of her son, but in the end they both found themselves holding tightly to the only thing that made sense in their world.

Nate, now on the edge of the tree line saw his father on his back on the ground with Doyle hovering over him, his menacing look translating to his trigger finger. Nate, still undetected brought his gun up and put his site on Doyle as he told Raylan that this should have happened twenty years ago. Nate licked his lips and realized his next action would irrevocably change his life forever. Nothing would be the same regardless of his choice. If he didn't have the courage to pull the trigger, would he have the courage to step out into the open and die right beside his father? Suddenly the decision was no longer his as a dark dot appeared on Doyle's forehead and he was dead before his body caught up to that realization. He eventually slumped over as a cluster of marshal's led by Tim Gutterson, who continued to hold his weapon up and ready, charged forward taking over what little resistance that was left.

Nate saw his father get up, red seeping through his shirt. He ran over, his eyes big and full of concern. He instantly knew this wasn't over as Raylan looked down at this son and smiled. If his son's presence had shocked him, he didn't show it. "Flesh wound, it will be okay. I take it Loretta is inside?"

Nate nodded. "Yes sir."

"You stay here and do what you're told, I'll be back shortly," he assured taking the gun from Nate's hand and tucking it in his waistband grimacing with the effort.

Art grabbed Nate's arm and pulled him close as Raylan marched up towards the door. "I didn't think anybody could dethrone your father at the top of my 'pain in the ass' list, but son, I think you might have just succeeded."

"I'm sorry, but I was afraid you wouldn't come unless I gave you a reason. I thought this was the best thing I could do."

"You think too much son," Art said softening his face a bit.

"I know, it's a big problem." Nate admitted.

Inside Raylan, who had been followed by Rachel and Tim immediately, saw the cause for the eruption of gunfire outside as Mags limped over to a chair, her pant leg soaked in blood. Upset and running on pure adrenaline Loretta swung the gone towards the newcomers.

Raylan put his hand up. "It's okay now; I'm here to help you. Nate is outside waiting for you, why don't you go out and let him know you're okay."

"Loretta," Mags began clearing her throat, "Marshal and me, we made our choices. Now we're paying for 'em, but you, both you and Nate still have a chance in this world. Don't commit to something you're not sure you can handle. Please do what the marshal asked of you."

"I can't believe I trusted you, you killed him," Loretta answered referring to her father. She then looked up over Raylan and saw his blood soaked shirt.

"Got caught in some return fire, just through and through, I'll be fine. But Nate is worried about you, why don't you go on out and calm him down a bit," he urged again.

Loretta had hard time thinking Nate was all that frantic, but she seized the offering of escape with dignity that Raylan offered her. By the time it was all said and done, the feud was ended, Mags was dead and the ride to the hospital seemed to take forever.


	21. Aftermath part I

**Aftermath part I of II**

Winona made her way down the hall to find the conglomerate of marshal's clogging up the passageway. Art stepped forward and brought her up to speed explaining his fallen comrades' wound.

"Where's Nate," she asked.

"In with Raylan, Tim's with him."

"You went because of Nate didn't you? The only reason you went was because you knew Nate was there." She said beginning to ramble.

"Let's say he made my decision that much easier."

Winona followed Art's directions and slowly found her way into Raylan's room. She found him lying on the bed, eyes closed, and face serene. She looked to her right where Nate was draped across Tim who was in the recliner; they both had their eyes closed. She walked closer to the bed, her clattering heels waking Tim who tried to sit up before he realized he was covered by an eleven year old. "I must make a good pillow," he said quietly.

Winona mustered a smile as she wrapped her arms around herself.

Nate's eyes flew open and he quickly sat up and looked around. He realized his position and apologized to Tim as he got up.

"No problem dude, you needed some rest and you know I always have your back," he said with a wink.

Nate realized that Tim had no idea of how true that statement was. He made his way over to the bed and looked down at his father's prone position, the monitor beeping in the background. "He'll be was okay; it didn't hit any vital organs."

"What happened?" she asked.

Tim and Nate looked at each other neither sure what to say. Tim cleared his throat feeling as the adult he should take responsibility of the situation. "Well, a shot went off somewhere and then there were more shots fired, and Raylan got hit in the crossfire," he stated awkwardly.

"And where were you?" Winona asked Nate who suddenly looked uncomfortable.

"Off to the side, in the trees." Nate was wrestling with the decision on whether or not to tell Tim how close he had been to shooting Doyle before he had been rescued by the marshal.

"Good God, I don't get this whole vengeful retribution thing that you all carry around," she said with disgust.

"I can't explain because I don't understand it either," Nate replied. "But it is what it is, it can't be changed."

"I think I can believe that Nate," she said exhaling.

"Um, I'm staying with Tim until Dad gets out of here," Nate said changing the subject fearing he had said too much.

"Oh."

"I didn't know when you would come, and how involved you would want to be. Tim is kind of a back-up for my dad anyway."

"That's fine, Nate, you don't need to explain anything."

"I really don't want to be at home without him," Nate said indicating his father, "so I'll stay at Tim's place."

"It's okay; I need to start packing up my house anyway."

"Winona," Nate said stepping towards her.

"Nate, it's fine, you don't owe me any explanation, you've known Tim longer than you've known me, and I don't know that I am any shape to do anything of much use."

"He'll be okay," Nate assured looking back at Raylan.

"This time," Winona said as she bent down and gave Nate a kiss on the cheek. "I'll check with you later, behave for Tim."

"Yes ma'am," he said watching her leave.

Raylan had been back to work, still nursing his wound. He found he had much more respect for his son's ability to cope with constant pain and discomfort but had yet to admit that to the boy. Nate had been quiet, almost reclusive since Raylan's discharge from the hospital. Tim had said he had done well with him at his place and most likely Nate was just dealing with it all in his own way; after all his father's mortality had flashed right before his eyes.

Winona had come back to the house and fallen in line with the awkwardness of the situation. Nate hadn't been around much, it was as if he sensed something that even she wasn't aware of. Raylan had gone back to work and took much of the evening to recover from his day. In an effort for some normalcy Nate had asked if his friend could spend the night. Both she and Raylan had agreed it would be a great first step to pretending everything was getting back to normal.

Raylan came home tired from a long and busy week, ending with Boyd Crowder pushing him through a wall of glass at the office. It did very little in helping him back to a full recovery. He did understand the man's motive but it needed to be understood that Raylan was more marshal than he was Givens and couldn't just drop his badge when it wasn't convenient. He had downed a couple of pain pills and was going to crash on the couch and seek advice from Nate on how to deal with the pain, but as so often happens, things don't work out as planned. He opened the front door to find Winona reading a magazine and the house far too quiet for everything to be going well. "It's too quiet," he said immediately.

"It's fine, the boys were watching TV and decided to go to Nate's room," Winona said yawning.

"And when was that?"

"About an hour ago I guess. You know it has been awfully quiet now that you mention it," she said getting off the couch.

Raylan was already down the hall and had found exactly what he expected.

"Tell me again why we're doing this?" Tommy asked.

"Because Dylan dared us and dude I cannot get into another fight with him to defend our honor."

"I guess you're right," Tommy said looking around.

Two days earlier their nemesis Dylan, had dared them to meet him at the cemetery, so they arranged for Tommy to spend the night. So when the time was right which basically ended up being before Raylan was home and when Winona had hit the wall and was too tired to notice the sudden serenity, they slipped quietly out of Nate's bedroom window. The cemetery was several blocks north and the cool moist air kept them moving.

"When is your dad going to be home?" Tommy asked.

"When he gets home; look we just have to meet up with numb nuts and then we can get back to my place."

"I don't really want to do this," Tommy said as the graveyard came into view.

"It's no big deal, everybody is dead they won't bother you."

"But I think I can feel them breathing on me," Tommy said as they climbed over the four foot iron fence.

"Tommy the very definition of a ghost is the spirit or soul of the deceased which means the person is dead ergo they can't be breathing on you."

"Who's ergo?"

"Never mind, we need to find the mausoleum. I think it's over here," Nate said pulling Tommy behind him.

The boys made their way over to the building where they waited for Dylan to show up. "The wind is cold," Tommy said stuffing his hands in his pockets. Nate agreed and pulled his hood into place. Despite it being late summer the rain clouds had brought a misty chill to the air that day and the even cooler temperatures had followed after sunset.

"Do you know I had never seen snow," Nate said looking into the darkness.

"How come?"

"Because it doesn't snow in Miami, it's too far south. Here he comes," Nate said as Dylan and his little flunky friends came around the corner. "We're here."

"I can see that Givens; didn't think you had the guts." Dylan spat out.

"At least we didn't have to bring bodyguards," Nate said. "I don't get what's so scary about this place anyway."

"Back in the days of prohibition when moonshine was king," Dylan began.

"I thought it still was king around these parts," Nate interrupted.

"Whatever dude, anyway there were two families that really hated each other and they met here to battle it out."

"Why?" Nate asked.

"I don't know, so they wouldn't have to go far to bury the bodies. So it was a bloodbath and they say the souls of those killed still roam this cemetery. In fact some of them are buried right around here. Well, have a great night guys, I'm going home this wind is giving me an earache."

Nate shook his head as Dylan and his crew took off. "He took off fast; do you hear that?" Tommy asked.

"Yes I do." Nate answered as he looked around the darkness.

"It's the ghost; I knew they were breathing on me."

"Tommy, it is not a ghost, Dylan probably had somebody else stand over there and make some noise or better yet it's just the damn wind that everybody keeps complaining about. Come on we need to get back to my house before we are missed."

The boys began to retrace their steps but they discovered the noise was getting louder to the west of them. Nate pulled Tommy behind an obelisk and pushed him down peering around the pillar to see two shadowy forms up ahead overturning fresh soil. They were talking to each other but neither Tommy nor Nate could understand much of what they were saying. The dirt was flying around them and they seemed to be arguing.

"What are they doing out here? It's awfully late to bury somebody," Tommy said quietly.

"I think they are burying a body on top of the body that was already interred there earlier."

"That's not very honest."

Nate's eyebrows shot up to his hairline. "Tom I don't think dishonesty plagues them since murder doesn't seem to be an issue."

"They killed somebody?"

"I would think so; I doubt they are trying to find a free ride for grandma."

"Do you have your gun?"

"No, why would I bring my gun here? And what would I do with it? Besides my dad keeps it."

"You said everybody here was dead and they aren't."

"No but if you don't lower your voice, we will be." Tommy reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone, but Nate knocked it out of his hands before he could do anything with it. "What are you doing? You can't use it; the light from the screen will give us away."

Tommy sighed and crawled around feeling the ground until he found his phone. "How come every time I'm with you something bad happens?"

"Not every time," Nate countered.

"I guess, but you aren't very lucky."

"It took you this long to figure that out."

"Well, what are we supposed to do?"

"We can go back the other way, but when we get home I have to tell my dad about this."

"It took my mom two months to let me come back to your house after your dad shot those two guys, she'll never let me come back after this."

"Not a problem," Nate began. "We get out of here and when we get back to our street you go home; tell your mom that I wasn't feeling well and so you came home. I'll tell my dad about the dare and you were the smart one and didn't want to go, so you went home instead."

"Wow, I get to be the smart one?"

"Yes," Nate sighed, "that way you're at home and I'll take the heat."

"I'm sorry; I shouldn't let you do that alone."

"Do you ever want to come over again?" Tommy nodded. "Well then, this has to be the plan."

"Okay." Tommy said looking sympathetic.

The boys looked back over at the grave site just in time to see the larger of the two men reach down and help other guy out of the hole. They then rolled over what looked like a large burrito towards the newly dug pit and with all the grace of a drunken elephant they dumped it into the hole. There was a resounding thud that seemed to echo far into the night, reverberating off every headstone. Nate could hear pieces of conversation, and what he heard caused his heart to race to an unhealthy rate. He looked over at his panicked friend who was too keyed up to understand much and quickly clapped his hand over Tommy's mouth. "Shhh, it's okay, we're going to go now. You need to very quiet and in just a few minutes you will be back at home. Okay? Nod if you can be quiet?"

Tommy slowly nodded and Nate pulled his hand away. "Can we go, please let's go." Tommy whispered in a rush.

It took longer to get home than Nate had anticipated since they had to keep stopping due to Tommy's hyperventilating. At one point it took several minutes for him to regain his breath and as he was bent over under the halo of streetlight, a car slowly headed their way. Nate looked up as it cruised by and locked eyes with the passenger, his heart hammered in his chest and he felt like he might need to join Tommy in his panic attack, but he took several deep breaths until the emotion passed, and the car turned at the corner and continued on its way. When they finally got to the end of their block, it took Nate several more minutes to get his friend composed enough to lie to his mother. Finally the two parted ways and Nate marched home.

The door looked imposing, he had no idea what mood his father would be in; angry dad, scared dad or clueless that he had left dad. Nate knew he was home since the Lincoln was sitting behind Winona's car. He took a deep breath and turned the knob; for a moment he was afraid the door might be locked and he would have try to get back in through his window. He had nearly headed that way originally when it occurred to him that if he was going to be honest about what he saw, then hiding his departure seemed a moot point.

The knob turned freely in his hand giving him a moment of relief but it was short lived as he looked to see Raylan sitting on the couch looking tired with shades of anger, distress and pain filling out his face. It didn't seem that he had gotten to a full-fledged parental meltdown yet, and for that Nate was grateful. He looked down at the floor after he had closed the door behind him and wondered how long ago his ruse had been discovered.

"Well, the prodigal son returns," Raylan said his voice lowered an octave for effect. "Look at me son." He said as Nate had immediately looked down at the floor.

Nate realized he had no idea what he was going to say; how he exactly was going to describe the last hour of his life. Suddenly it all seemed like a ridiculous lie, perhaps if he was lucky enough to get his father to believe it, it might make up for his lapse in judgment to leave the house and traipse through a cemetery. He heard his father clear his throat and Winona's footsteps coming his way and realized he was still staring at the floor. He lifted up his head and saw his father's dark eyes searching him for some clue as to what might be explained in the next several minutes. "Well you want to tell us what was so damn important that you had to bail out of your window? And where is Tommy? Please tell me he isn't stuck somewhere or lost."

"He's fine, he's at home," Nate stated as he began his story, mixing lies with the truth, or mixing the truth with lies, he wasn't actually sure which was which. Raylan sat quietly listening to it all in his typical solemnity, while Winona's eyes grew wider with each sentence.

"So Tommy wasn't with you during this whole body dumping deal?" Raylan asked.

"No sir, apparently cemetery's freak him out."

"Smart boy," Winona said breaking her silence.

"Well let's go then," Raylan said dry washing his face.

"Go where?" Winona asked.

"He has to show me where he was, if they did dump a body it's a crime."

"Can't you just call the police?" she asked her face animated.

"Not until I confirm this little adventure. He may have only seen two cemetery workers looking for a lost cat or dumping some illegal substance. I'll call you when I know more," he said leaning over to kiss her. "Let's go," he said ushering Nate out the door.

The climbed in the car and Nate embraced the silence for two blocks until Raylan cleared his throat and looked across the car at him. "So you're sure Tommy wasn't in on this?"

"Yes sir," Nate answered confidently.

There was nothing in his son's answer to tip off that it was anything but the truth, but there was a feeling in the pit of his stomach, a flutter that only a parent could feel, that indicated otherwise. But he knew Tommy must be okay because Nate would never lie if safety was an issue. "Okay if you say so then."

"I think it was the mob," Nate said as they parked and headed towards the grounds.

"What makes you say that?" Raylan asked stifling a laugh.

Nate shrugged, "I don't know, just a feeling."

"Yeah I get those feelings too."

"I mean the mob is everywhere right? You don't have to be in Jersey or New York City."

"No son, crime is present everywhere."

"Over here, I remember that obelisk; it's where I hid to watch." Nate said horrified that he had almost included Tommy in the hiding.

Raylan noticed the hitch in his sons voice, but decided to let it go for now. The darkness had taken on an inky shade with some areas appearing darker than others. They tread cautiously around tombstones of all sizes before they came upon the area that was piled high with fresh dirt waiting to settle. The fresh footprints were unmistakable; they were made by two men with different sized feet. "Stay back," he told Nate. "I don't need more feet over here." He squatted down and grabbed a handful of dirt and dropped again. He pulled out his phone and made the call.

To be continued…


	22. Aftermath part II

**Aftermath part II**

"Tell me again how you found out about what happened here?" The detective asked after arriving twenty minutes after Raylan called.

"My son was out here on a dare and saw it happen."

The detective nodded. "Damn kids; I have a fifteen and seventeen year old, still not sure who will end up surviving, but I have a feeling it's not going to be me. How old is yours?"

"Eleven."

"Damn, you're never gonna make it." He said sympathetically.

Raylan forced a smile and looked over at Nate who was pointing off into the distance for another detective. He could only imagine that conversation.

"Well Marshal, no ID on the victim; looks to be a male in his mid-twenties most likely local from the looks of his clothing. We'll know more after the autopsy. I'm sure once we get his face out there somebody will know him. We'll be in touch if need anything further."

Raylan made his way over to his son who was wrapping it up with the other detective. "No, from what I could tell they had no specific accents, maybe upper Midwest, but definitely not local."

"Not New York City?"

"No, not at all, there was a certain inflection but it was not the Bronx."

The detective looked over at Raylan. "He's been a great help."

"He has great powers of observation."

"Okay, well like my partner probably told you we'll be in touch if we need anything."

Father and son returned to the car; Raylan turned the key and hoped it would warm up quickly as the night definitely had a bite to it and the windows were foggy from the moisture in the air. He looked over at Nate who was busy staring out the window. He checked for traffic and pulled away from the curb.

"So you want to tell me what really happened without lying through your ass?" Raylan asked.

"I already told you everything just as it happened," Nate protested.

Raylan looked in his rearview mirror at the empty street behind him and slammed on the brakes causing him to wince in pain. He put the car in park and slowly twisted his body to look at his son. "What is the one thing I will not tolerate?" Nate scrunched up his eyebrows and stared at the glove box. "Answer me Nate."

"Lying," the boy whispered.

"I'm sorry I didn't hear that?"

"Lying," Nate said a bit louder.

"And what else will I not accept?"

"Disrespect," Nate said clearing his throat.

"And by lying to me you are disrespecting me, and son I will not have it. Now, Tommy was there wasn't he?"

"No he wasn't," Nate replied, but his façade was crumbling and the boy knew it.

"So you want me to swing by Tommy's house and interrogate him, because I don't think he would hold up all that well. Is that what you want son?" Nate gently shook his head no. "Then why did you lie to me, lie to the police?"

"Because he didn't see anything differently than I did, and I have better recall. Plus we were afraid if his parents found out he wouldn't be able to come over or hang out with me anymore."

"Nate, I can't just pretend he didn't see any of it, you don't know what he might have seen. You both didn't use your best judgment in going to the cemetery tonight, but I admit nobody would expect to see what you did."

"That's what I'm saying," Nate said happy that his father was finally on the same page as him.

"Oh, but that doesn't excuse you for sneaking out. We'll deal with that one later." Raylan sighed and looked once again behind the car to check for traffic. "Look you call or text Tommy and get him back to the house so I can talk to him. If he doesn't offer anything useful we'll let it go, but I need to check out his story."

"Okay," Nate said quietly.

The remainder of the short drive was quiet, with each Givens brooding in their own corner of the car. Raylan glanced over realizing just how fast his son was growing up. Their relationship had been fractured for so many years. Even when Raylan had moved to Florida he had still been a part time father, and it had only been through tragedy that he had taken sole possession of the reins. In fact Raylan had nearly missed the birth of his son having been in New Mexico tracking a fugitive. If Nadine hadn't called early in her labor he would have never made it. And now as Nate began to gravitate towards the independence that comes with age and maturity, Raylan feared he had missed far too much that he could never retrieve. Suddenly there were days when the boy seemed like a stranger and he feared the tether that bound them was stretching impossibly thin. He leaned forward and turned on the radio in time to hear Cats in the Cradle by Harry Chapin, a song about a father who had worked through his son's childhood only to have the favor returned when his son grew up just like him; unwilling to participate of any type of relationship. The song hit him right in the heart.

Back at the house and spending almost an hour with Tommy, Raylan hadn't gleaned any more information than Nate had told him, and his son wasn't far with the 'I told you so'. He let the boy go back home and they all agreed this would be kept between them. Nate was heading back to his room after watching his friend leave when Raylan stopped him. "We still have some things to talk about son."

Nate's face reflected pain and exhaustion causing Raylan to soften. He knew his son well enough to know this wasn't a ploy. "Look, sneaking out wasn't a very smart thing to do and you owe Winona a big apology but we can deal with it tomorrow."

"Thanks, I'm going to go to bed and Winona I am sorry for sneaking out."

"You just get some rest and I'll see you tomorrow." She said with a gentle smile.

Once they were alone they both collapsed onto the couch. "Wow Raylan, I don't know if I'm ready for the parenting thing."

"Well I think it's too late to for any second guessing now. Don't worry you get to grow with them; it gives you a chance to improve your skills before they notice your incompetence. They're so needy when their newborns, all that crying and care they need but they're so damn cute you don't think twice about all those nighttime hours you log. Then when they're toddlers, they begin to idolize you to a point where you can't help but be totally in love with them, but that only lasts so long then you have a rude awakening where they dare to begin to think for themselves and come to realize you are not only mortals but total idiots. But by then you're pretty attached to them, so you find a way to roll with the punches."

"You are such a romantic," Winona smiled snuggling into Raylan's shoulder. "You do have to admire the fact that he wanted to protect his friend."

"Yeah I suppose, but he knows how I feel about lying. It is a dangerous habit to get into and one I will not tolerate."

"Are you the big stern daddy?" Winona asked.

Raylan smiled; "not hardly, but there are rules I won't allow him to bend or break and that is one of them."

"What are the others? I mean if we're going to raise another child then I should know what you've already implemented into your little parental system."

"Well let's see, no lying, no disrespect, no defiance- you know it's a long list do we have to talk about it now?"

"No, I suppose the baby won't be up to those things for a while, but I do need some tips to help me with Nate. He's a great kid, but he's heading towards puberty and I know how that changes the entire landscape."

"You're telling me." Raylan agreed.

That night Raylan tossed and turned as he tried to get through the night. He kept having visions of Nate in the cemetery. It had been so cold and damp along with darkness; an unpleasant atmosphere to say the least. He finally drifted off only to have a dream that he had been calling out to Nate who was off in the distance and he just kept ignoring Raylan and walking further away. Then he heard the song he had been on the radio earlier. The words and melody were crystal clear. He could also hear Boyd and Mags recalling their baby sitting duties. He had been so busy it required Nadine to turn to people she had never fully trusted to watch their son. Raylan had jumped into the marshal service with two feet taking every case he could in order to get him and his family far from Kentucky, but despite his efforts Nadine beat him to the punch and left long before him. By the time he realized what he had lost, it was too late. The lyrics, words he had only been vaguely familiar with assaulted him until it forced him from his bed and to Nate's room, humming the tune as he went.

My child arrived just the other day

He came to the world in the usual way

But there were planes to catch and bills to pay

He learned to walk while I was away

And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew

He'd say "I'm gonna be like you dad

You know I'm gonna be like you"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon

Little boy blue and the man on the moon

When you comin' home dad?

I don't know when, but we'll get together then son

You know we'll have a good time then

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me

He'd grown up just like me

My boy was just like me

The middle was fuzzy but he distinctly remembered the beginning and ending in which the son ended up just like his father and that was the very last thing Raylan had ever wanted. Nate's words that he wanted to be just like him, despite being flattering was not what his desire was for the boy. He wanted Nate far away from the life that he was leading. He had had a plan but it all went to hell when he wasn't paying attention. He had loved Nadine, they both felt the relationship was doomed from the start due to things beyond their control, but when she became pregnant, they vowed to try to make it work. But Raylan let it slip away and then once it did he recovered by moving on and marrying Winona only to realize that had never been the answer in the first place; now his son was much too involved in the part of Raylan's life that he had no desire to share because it was the only part of his life that he had. No father son camping trips or school functions, no if Nate spent time with his father it was giving statements and taking part in a shooting gallery.

The boy who looked at life far differently than any average child, he could see beyond the normal plain. Through his trials and pain, he knew life wasn't fair and he certainly didn't feel the world shine down on him. It was this forced maturity that allowed the boy to survive in the whirlwind that was their life. But just a few weeks ago Raylan had been shot and it made him wonder what had he done for his son, what kind of father was he?

He reached Nate's room with the line "I'm gonna be like you dad," ringing in his ears. The thought of Nate taking up the reins scared the hell out of him but he feared that very thing had a possibility of happening. Nate had already slid so easily into the Harlan way of life; so much so neither one of them had truly realized it.

He sat down on the edge of his son's bed and just looked at the sleeping form. He brushed the boy's bangs across his forehead.

"What's wrong Dad?" Nate mumbled his voice thick with sleep.

"Nothing pal, just checking on you."

"How come?"

"Just wanted to see you I guess."

"I'm sorry I went to the cemetery and lied to you," Nate said.

"I know, it's okay, I can understand peer pressure. I just want you to be safe. Did I ever tell you about the time your mom and I walked through a cemetery?"

"No," Nate replied his eyes opening wider.

"She was pregnant with you and she had a thing for old tombstones, she loved history. So we went to this graveyard near Frankfort so she could do some etchings of the oldest stones." Raylan went on to explain how he nearly fell into a freshly dug grave still waiting for its occupant and how Nadine had told him the baby had kicked furiously when she laughed. He told of the picnic lunch they had and chasing the paper plates down and spilling the potato salad and the rain storm that had blown in faster than they could run. It had been an impromptu day of fun and one they would never forget. It was the kind of day that they hadn't had enough of and it was the kind of day he hadn't shared with his son in quite some time. He thought of the day when he took off slipping away from Tim and Nate to search for who was trying to kill him and suddenly became jealous of Tim and the fact that he had the day with Nate that should have been shared between father and son.

Nate was nearly asleep again as Raylan bent over and kissed his forehead and pulled up the covers to his neck. He stood up and took a moment before returning to his bed.

The next morning Raylan's side was throbbing as he popped a couple more pain pills with his morning coffee. "Take it easy there pal. Don't want to become addicted." Nate stated grabbing a bowl for his cereal.

"It hurts," Raylan said attempting to sound pathetic.

"Your pain will end, I will never be that lucky. To know that my pain will end….what a dream that would be."

"It's true you are stronger than I am. Maybe you should get back on the steroids, they did help you."

"That they did, but they also made me very short tempered and I blew up like a balloon in the Macy's Day parade."

"You go back next month, we'll see what else that you can try. Meanwhile, I'm ready to admit you are a much stronger man than I am."

"Was there ever any doubt?" Nate asked, playfully sticking his tongue out.


	23. Nix That

**Nix That**

Raylan had managed to find out more than he wanted about the unlucky soul that ended up in the used gravesite. He discovered that Eldon Everett was twenty-six years old, and loser from Harlan County who strayed a little too far west and got burned by believing he was much stronger than he was. There was no concrete evidence of anything, but he was placed in an area all too familiar to Raylan; it was a region that he cared never to be involved in again. What puzzled him was Nate claiming that the men digging the hole sounded as if they were from the Midwest. It's not that it was impossible, but highly unlikely. Now whether his son was mistaken or purposely lied was the mystery that he somehow needed to solve. But he had placed that on the back burner as he drove home with Winona and Nate after eating dinner out.

"So I'm thinking I get to pick the baby name," Winona announced.

"And why is that?" Raylan questioned.

"Because if I'm going to carry him or her around and go through agony to get it out then I would say it is my right. Your mom picked your name, right Nate?"

"I couldn't tell you, I wasn't really in on the conversation, something about a uterine wall dividing me from the outside world."

"So you think you can just pick out any old name and I'll just go along with it?" Raylan asked.

"Yep, in fact if I want to name the baby Jiffy Pop then that's what I'll do. What do you think about that name Nate?"

"Very modern and eclectic, and I bet he or she will already have two kids already named that in their kindergarten class."

"You know, you're probably right," she agreed as they pulled into the driveway.

The three trooped up to the door where Raylan unlocked it and walked right into his son who had stopped dead in his tracks. "Dude, what…" But no more needed to be said as Fletcher Nix sat at the table and stared a hole right into the three of them.

"Come on in folks," he invited the stunned crowd. "Have a seat right over here," he told Raylan pointing to the chair opposite himself with his gun. "We're gonna play a little game here," he began to explain. "I'm going to put the gun in the middle of the table, and then we'll count down from ten and when we get to one, we both reach for it and whoever is faster wins. You see it's really very simple. Now first you put your gun on the floor Marshal."

Raylan swallowed in an effort to remain calm. He looked back at Winona who looked as if she could projectile vomit at any time. Nate had stepped forward placing himself much closer to the action than Raylan cared for. And as he did so often, he had begun studying the situation, most especially, the stranger that was sitting in his chair.

Raylan complied with the request, putting his gun on the floor as he sat down. "Now are we all clear on the rules?" Nix asked. Raylan silently nodded. "Okay now ma'am would you do the honors of counting down from ten for us?"

The invitation was met with silence. Nix turned his head and looked at Winona who seemed frozen unable to compute anything. "I'll do it," Nate volunteered.

"Well my boy, then you go right ahead," Fletcher encouraged.

While he offered his counting skills Nate had shifted so that he was just barely facing Raylan. He was able to make subtle eye contact. As he began to count down in a steady rhythmic pattern he managed to move his eyes giving Raylan all the information he needed. It was now clear that Nix held something up his sleeve and Raylan knew exactly how to counteract it. So when Nate hit two, Raylan pulled the tablecloth towards him, thwarting his opponent's effort at stabbing him with an ice pick. He then easily shot the man and ended the standoff.

"Sorry about your tablecloth," he told Winona as he stood up.

Nate peered over at the fallen adversary and was relieved that no blood had spilled on his chair. As Raylan dialed the ever familiar number to bring in the necessary folks to help clean up this disaster, Winona wobbled over to the couch and collapsed.

There was no doubt that the nearly invisible indication from Nate, had given Raylan the information he needed to win this confrontation hands down. He had had an idea of what this man was capable of, but having it confirmed was invaluable. Once again his son had been beyond cool under pressure and it continued to scare the hell out of him. Genetics can play a critical factor in behavior but he was beginning to fear there was more than his DNA at play here. His fact finding mission earlier that day was beginning to scream in his head. Was Nate covering something up, and what was his son capable of?

That next day Raylan picked Nate up from school and took the long way home. "If you need to talk to somebody about what happened last night or anything else that has happened, I can arrange that." He offered.

Nate scrunched down his eyebrows and looked confused. "I'm fine, why do you think I'm not?"

"It's not that I don't think you are okay, its just – well it's a lot for anybody to deal with, but especially a child."

"I'm fine, Dad, really."

"Well maybe you shouldn't be."

"You are," Nate pointed out.

"I'm adult, who has training and experience with these types of situations."

"But I'm just a kid who should be freaking out and you're worried because I'm not freaking out."

"Yeah something like that," Raylan admitted.

Nate just shook his head and pulled a book from his backpack and immersed himself in its pages. Raylan gave sideways glances towards his son, and found himself deeply concerned. His sons' illness marched to the beat of its own drummer, often affording him some good days followed by a treacherous downfall; his symptoms coming at him like restless marauders bent on destroying whatever was nearby. Raylan could generally see it in his sons eyes; the sparkling intense orbs would fade to listless mud. He hated God on those days, cursing the affliction that denied his son the basic joys of life and childhood. Nate would often put on a good front; at least for a while but the pain would wear him down and there was nothing in a fathers repertoire that could restore what they had all thought was his God given right to health, wealth and the pursuit of happiness. Raylan knew this insidious disease clouded his son's love of life and there were days that greatly concerned him. He didn't believe that Nate was suicidal, but he was beginning to wonder if he wasn't all that eager to continue living.


	24. Dear Raylan

**Dear Raylan**

Despite Nate's seemingly unflappability, Winona hadn't fared so well. They had moved into her nearly empty house as she couldn't manage to stay in home where her safety had been so compromised. Nate could see her distancing herself and wondered if his father had picked up on it as well. It was becoming all too clear that this second attempt at a working relationship was failing miserably. The love was there, but other details that surround daily life screamed out in incompatibility. Winona had learned long ago she could not change the lawman and had come to realize she couldn't survive the lifestyle he insisted on being a part of. Seeing Nate involved in this world and his reaction to the violence and disaster around him, only served to reinforce the fact that she would not allow her child to be drawn into this relentless evil. And with that in mind she kissed Nate's head gently as he slept, waved a silent goodbye, locked the door behind her and never looked back.

Raylan struggled with the lock and then promptly knocked some large item crashing to the ground. He flinched as the noise resonated across the room. He looked towards the stairs half expecting Winona to come creeping down and give him what-for about his late nights. But no such thing happened so he continued on to the kitchen. The glow from the light over the sink cast its rays over the counter pointing out a piece of paper that had been torn from one of Nate's notebooks. Raylan hoped that Nate had left him a note declaring he needed a permission slip signed or some money, but in his heart he knew what that paper held. He picked it up, willing his hands to stay steady and read Winona's crisp script. After he read it, he set it back down and swallowed. It turned out Nate had been right all along; it hadn't worked out the first time so why did they think it would work out this time. Suddenly Raylan sprinted for the stairs. Of course Nate was still here, she wouldn't have taken him, she had no rights to him, but still –

He opened the door quickly and was relieved to see the mound that made up his son in the middle of the bed. He walked over and looked down at the sleeping form and felt like a failure. The only reason his son didn't leave him was because he was simply too young and had no means to do so. He went to bed wondering what else he could screw up.

As he lay alone in the bed that he had so very recently shared with Winona, he realized that none of this was really a surprise. Despite moving into this oversized house and searching for a new place they could call their own; Raylan hadn't given up the rental house. Somewhere in the recesses of his mind he couldn't let go of that safety net, fearing it would all fall part at some point. After the shooting, Winona had stated that there was no way she could stay in the house where she had watched a man murdered, his blood staining the carpet leaving a constant reminder of the violence that not only seemed to follow Raylan but head him off at the pass as well. It didn't help that Nate was not only unfazed, but was quick to let Winona know that Fletcher Nix was actually the fourth to be shot at the house and the third to die. It was mere minutes later that her bag was packed and she was sitting in the car waiting for them to follow. With sleep still far out on the fringes, Raylan wondered how the hell he had gotten to this place in his life and why he had felt the need to drag his son with him.

Trooper Tom's slip of the tongue about finding Winona near Louisville must have been fate as it was the exact map that Raylan had needed to find her. He should have figured it out; she was gone but not all that well hidden.

"Can I speak with Winona please," Raylan asked as soon as the door opened.

Gail, Winona's sister looked less than pleased at the man who showed up on her doorstep. "What makes you think she's here?"

"It's official business."

"You always take your kid on official business?" she asked looking at Nate.

"The drive gave us time to bond, a single parent has to eke out every moment they can," Raylan said smiling. "Besides he's my personal GPS."

Before Gail could protest again Winona declared it was fine that they come inside. Gail unhappily stepped aside allowing the Givens entry. "Nate, why don't we see if I have anything in the kitchen that might interest you," Gail said.

Nate looked at Raylan, his brows furrowed, unsure of what he should do. "Go on son, I'll find you in a few minutes." Nate wordlessly trailed Gail into the kitchen.

"What are you doing here?" Winona asked. "I left you a letter." She asked after leading Raylan into the living room.

"Yeah, two very terse sentences, neither one giving me much satisfaction."

"Raylan I love you and I will always love you, but it is never going to work. I can't live with you and I can't change you."

"May I remind you, that you are pregnant," Raylan said crossing the room.

"I'm well aware of that, and that is what motivated me. Don't get me wrong Raylan we'll make it work it somehow. I don't want to take this child from you, but I can't bring a baby into this mess. Look, Nadine took Nate and left."

"It does seem to be a theme," Raylan stated.

"You have several men in your house, Nate even witnessed it. He has even shot a man for Gods' sake, which is not normal! When that man was in the house that night I was so scared that when he asked me to count down I couldn't think clearly enough to recall my numbers. But Nate didn't hesitate, he showed as much anxiety as a typical child would watching TV. And Raylan that scared the hell out of me; that he is so resigned to this life that he doesn't even know how to be scared anymore."

"He does have my genes; I tend to remain calm in difficult situations. Look if I could box him up, put him in one of those safes behind a painting on the wall and leave him there until the world was safe I would, but then I would never see him again." Raylan paused debating about his next sentence. He sighed and looked back over at Winona. "Listen, Nate is afraid that you left because of him, he is blaming himself."

"It is not his fault and I will be happy to tell him that, but he is one of the reasons I left. He provided a look into the future that I don't want for my child."

Raylan stood quietly chewing on his lips unsure of what to say. "Did you take that money from the evidence locker?" He figured his opening line to Gail wouldn't be a total lie if he brought up the subject of the missing money from the lock-up.

"What? No of course I didn't."

"Don't lie to me," Raylan warned.

"I'm not lying; I haven't even looked at it since we put it back in there. I'm telling you the truth. Look I'm not talking about it anymore let me go talk to Nate for a minute please."

"Sure, just send him out to the car when you're done," Raylan said as he headed to the front door realizing there wasn't much more to say.

Nate was in the kitchen pushing an oatmeal cookie around a plate and nursing a glass of milk. Gail was busy sudsing up dishes that were already clean. Winona tossed her head to indicate that she wanted to be alone with Nate; her sister dried her hands on a dish towel and quietly left the room.

"Hey kiddo how are you?"

"How am I supposed to be; your leaving has made him impossible to live with," Nate explained.

"That bad?"

"He's been thinking about you a lot, even wanted to take a few days off."

"Really, I'm touched, I guess. What's he been doing?"

"Drawn into Harlan crap, usually he can't wait to get knee deep down there but not this time. All he wanted to do was find you. He really does love you; this is all my fault."

"Oh no, Nate none of this is your fault or anybody's fault. Sometimes relationships get so complicated that they have to end. I love your father; I truly do, but…"

"But you don't love his lifestyle."

"Right, why do you think my leaving is your fault?"

"Because through me you see the future."

"Wow kid, you never fail to blow me away with your insight."

"I know our lives aren't easy and I guess sometimes my dad can bring out the worst in people."

"Yes but he can also bring out the best as well."

"I always blamed myself for you leaving him the first time," Nate said staring down at his half eaten cookie.

"Now, why on earth would you do that?" she asked.

"I figured he spent a lot of his weekends and days off with me and didn't leave you much time."

"We had time together; his hours were much more regular in Georgia. I did miss him when he was gone, but I loved the fact that he was spending time with you."

"Plus it was because of me that he left the safety of Glynco and went back into the trenches. And moved near my mother," Nate said looking at Winona for a reaction. Her face was a bit strained but still mostly impassive. "But I suppose it took the pressure off of you having kids," Nate said with a sigh.

"Yeah, well I suppose it did. Things went wrong in our marriage and it wasn't anybody's fault but our own. And that goes for this time as well."

When did you decide it was over? It was a few weeks ago wasn't it?"

"You are perceptive."

"You became distant, you seemed resigned to everything, stopped fighting for him to change or go to Glynco. I could hear it in your voice and I could see it on your face."

"Well you are right, and please don't take this the wrong way," she began questioning the wisdom of what she was going to tell him. "That night that Fletcher Nix was in the house; that was the night I realized it would never work."

"Why?"

"I was so scared, you remember I couldn't even count, that you had to do it?"

"Yeah, no big deal."

"That's just it Nate, it is a big deal when there is a man in your house with a gun. But it wasn't for you or for Raylan and that in itself is a problem. But there was something else that night."

"What?" Nate asked looking Winona in the eyes.

"You looked at the scene in front of you, took in all the details just as Raylan knew you would, then he looked at you and though it was nearly imperceptible you gave him a heads-up that something was off with the little game of grab of the gun. It was nearly undetectable but I saw the slightest tip-off, invisible to anyone who didn't know you well. But it was more than enough for Raylan to know something was off. It probably saved his life and for that I'm grateful, but Nate somehow you have been indoctrinated into this insanely dangerous lifestyle and I just can't bring a baby into that…to turn into that."

"I act the way I do because I have his genes in me, and no matter where you live or where you go; your child will have those genes as well. You can't run from this Winona, not totally."

"Well I can control some things. You weren't facing armed intruders before you came back to Kentucky."

"True, but my mother was still shot to death which had nothing to do with my father. Life happens and it isn't always good, but we can do the best we can for ourselves and those we love. I better go. It was nice seeing you," Nate said sliding off the chair and walking to the front door.

Winona heard the door open and close. "Smart kid," Gail said as she reentered the room.

"Yes he is," Winona concurred.


	25. Nighttime Stroll

_**Warning, Nate has a tantrum and Raylan responds.**_

**Nighttime Stroll**

Nate opened his eyes and tried to rub the fatigue out of them. He had fallen asleep on the couch while he watched TV. He looked over at the coffee table where is open math book was. He had gotten half of it done then decided to take a break, but he fell asleep and his break had begun over two hours ago. It was nearly seven and his dad still hadn't come home yet. He knew the man was devastated by Winona leaving and it had reflected in his mood, despite the fact that he and Art seemed to be getting along better. Some case or problem had apparently been resolved. Nate had overheard something about serial numbers popping up near Mexico, but that relief was short-lived and Raylan returned to being impatient and it seemed to Nate that nothing he could do was right. Raylan would come home late and then often leave again coming home well after Nate had gone to bed. Nate had tried to talk to him about everything but his attempts were often rebuffed. He had been calling his uncle Cade frequently and that helped. But he just wished his dad would ease up.

Cade had been wanting to come up for a visit but his unit had been involved in a lot of training exercises that had mandatory attendance for all personnel, so his trip had been put off again and again. The two desperately wanted to get meet again, but the phone calls had been a blessing for both, reuniting them and helping to ease anxieties for each side. Nate had e-mailed some pictures of himself earlier that night and Cade had called to say he had seen them and that led to a heart to heart about Raylan's changed behavior.

"I know it's hard, but you have to give him some space. He's hurting, and has such a stressful job that he can't let much out there, so unfortunately it falls on you. We do that do those we love the most because we know we can." Cade explained that night.

"I know, but he comes home, gets mad at me and then goes back out," Nate replied.

"Where does he go?"

"I don't know but he comes home really late and I'm sure he has been drinking."

"It's Kentucky Nate, everybody drinks all day long."

"I know but he's drinking for the wrong reasons."

"Is there ever a good reason?"

"I don't know, I just wish I could help him."

"Just be there for him, behave and don't give him any problems. He'll get through this and eventually apologize for being such an ass."

"I can only hope I make it," Nate said with exasperation.

"Oh you are too tough not to."

After the conversation Nate worked on his homework until he had closed his eyes and fallen asleep. Now he looked bleary-eyed at his math book and realized he hadn't done any of his chores. Both were supposed to be done before his father got home. He stood up and stretched just as the front door opened and Raylan walked in.

"Hey Dad," Nate said wondering what kind of mood the man was in.

"Hey, still working on homework?" Raylan asked, distracted.

"Yeah, fell asleep," Nate admitted.

"How much do you have left?" he asked as he moved into the kitchen.

"Not much," Nate lied, still having to finish his math as well as complete an essay on Kentucky's role in the Civil War.

Raylan reached up into the cabinet causing Nate to grimace at the realization that he hadn't unloaded the dishwasher yet. "Where's my coffee cup?"

"Still in the dishwasher," Nate admitted.

Nadine had always assigned the boy chores as an effort to teach hard work and responsibility as well as help that any single parent needs. Raylan had continued her efforts, trying to keep Nate on track with some of things his mother had instilled.

Raylan sighed opened up the appliance and pulled out his favorite coffee mug. "So your homework isn't done and you haven't done any of your chores," he said noticing the floor still needed to be swept. "What time did you get home?"

"Usual time."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I just played on the computer for a while…"

"And watched TV and fell asleep before doing what you are supposed to get done first."

"I guess." Nate admitted smelling the alcohol on his father's breath.

"You guess, no guessing about it son. The rules are pretty clear, you get your work done and you get your chores done first. I have no problems with breaks and exceptions but I'm not happy Nate." Raylan said looking down at the counter trying to regain some composure and control of the situation.

"You're never happy anymore," Nate said under his breath.

"What did you say?" he asked his attempt now lost.

"Nothing."

"No, tell me," Raylan said crossing his arms and staring at his son.

"I said you're never happy anymore and I can't do anything right. Dude she left and I'm sorry, but it's not my fault."

Raylan's eyebrows rose at his son's comment. "First of all, you do not now, or ever, call me dude and second of all this has nothing to do with Winona."

Nate shook his head and tried to leave the kitchen before he said something that would get him in big trouble.

"Where are you going?" Raylan asked.

"To finish my homework," Nate said trying to skirt around his father.

"Get your chores done first," he ordered.

"What does it matter, you're leaving anyway, maybe I won't do any of it," Nate snapped realizing that was not his best move.

Raylan just stood there chewing on his cheek. His first instinct was to do just what Arlo would have which would have been to slap his son across his face, but he was not Arlo and Raylan did his very best every day to remind himself of that, and not give in to his past. "First of all you do not talk to me like that," Raylan began, grabbing Nate's arm. "Second of all it's not optional, and will be done whether I stay or go which by the way is none of your business. And if you don't shape up you will not be liking the consequences," he finished dropping Nate's arm. "Get started, because I'll be checking when I get home."

"You're leaving again? You just got home," Nate said, his voice nearly pleading as he realized his earlier statement about Raylan leaving was now fact.

"I have things to do, I'm a busy man," he finished walking towards the front door. "Nate," he said pausing at the door, "get everything done."

Raylan looked at his son with a no nonsense look as his phone rang. He looked down and quickly answered as Nate stomped off into the garage, slamming the door behind him. He just needed a few minutes to get his bearings before going back into the house. He could hear his father's voice through the door and decided to get a little closer to eavesdrop.

"I'm sorry, but it's my job and it's a big part of who I am. Sure I can help with the co-payments, if you need another sonogram, I'll go with you." Nate leaned into the door, his ear pressed against the steel. "I did commit to you and this relationship; I gave up the opportunity to return to Miami to stay here, how could you think I wasn't serious."

Nate felt light headed, did he hear his father right? Did he pass up an opportunity to go back to his last job? He had told Nate he would make every attempt to get back to Florida, even if it was to a different region, and now he was saying he declined an offer to the very same office he was so upset at being banished by. His mind was spinning and suddenly before he even knew it, his body burst through the door and into the kitchen where Raylan was standing.

"How could you?" Nate screamed charging his father. "How could you do that to me? You're my father, you're supposed to love me, you're supposed to want to help me, do things for me. You promised!" He yelled shoving Raylan in the chest.

Raylan suddenly realized Nate had overheard the conversation. He had never told him about the offer to return to Miami knowing Nate wouldn't take the news well. "I have to go," Raylan announced into the phone, hanging up before Winona could respond. "Look son, things are complicated. I wanted to go back, I really did, but things here are a mess and it's only right that I stay and help out."

"Bullshit, they did fine before you got here, they would survive without you. You just wanted to stay because you were with Winona again; you cared more about her than me."

"That's not fair Nate, its more complex than that."

"No it's not, it's just that simple. You said you never wanted to come back here, that you would do everything you could to get back to Florida," Nate said continuing to shout. The bourbon that Raylan had imbibed earlier was sloshing around in his brain screaming out different commands to his system. He couldn't seem to think straight as his son continued his barrage.

"You stayed, because Winona was with you, but guess what Dad, she left, she left you just like Mom left and like Winona left you before. You threw it away for nothing. Nobody stays with you!" Nate cried hitting Raylan with his fists using more force than Raylan thought possible.

"Stop it son, let's talk about this."

"No, you had your chance. I'm tired of hearing your lies. I'm leaving too…screw you!" Nate said slugging Raylan again.

Whether it was the stress of the day, the stress of the evening, Nate threatening to leave, the bourbon or perhaps all of it rolled up together; as if acting on its own accord Raylan's palm shot out and caught his son flush on the cheek, the sound of flesh hitting flesh resonated around the room. What he had contained earlier had been loosed and Raylan instantly regretted it. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that, but you can't talk to me like that," he said his voice suddenly thick with emotion and alcohol. Nate just shook his head, his cheek already fiery red.

"Whatever Dad, do and say what you want, you always do," Nate said walking towards the door.

"Don't you go anywhere, we need to talk," Raylan said as his phone rang again. He looked down and saw he needed to answer it. As he pushed the button to answer he heard the front door close. He ran in Nate's footsteps and by the time he opened the door Nate was halfway down the block pedaling his bike as fast as his legs could go.

He ended his call abruptly, and tried Nate's number hoping he could talk the boy down a bit. But was frustrated when he heard music coming from the coffee table where Nate had left his phone. He not only wouldn't be able to talk to him, he also couldn't track the phone when Nate ignored him. He grabbed his keys and jogged to the car looking down the street for his wayward son, but Nate was nowhere to be seen.

Nate had taken the first turn and turned down an alley and doubled back to Tommy's backyard where he waited, knowing Tommy and his mom weren't at home. He climbed up into the treehouse that they had spent many a day in and tried to gather his thoughts. He was so angry at his father he could hardly think. He just couldn't believe he had been disregarded so easily. It was as simple as he had said; Raylan had chosen a possible relationship with Winona over him, and had done so easily. He had kept it a secret knowing he had no good motive in which to win an argument if the truth had been found out. Nate felt so betrayed, he felt as if he didn't have a friend in the world.

Raylan drove around for over an hour looking for Nate. He had debated about calling Tim but wasn't in the mood to explain everything. He went back to the house hoping the boy had gone back home, but discovered he hadn't. As he stood contemplating what he should do when Lindsey called him proclaiming impending chaos was brewing and she needed him immediately. He sighed and headed to the bar; figuring Nate would be home at some point soon. He wrote a note apologizing and asking Nate to call him so they could talk and then he left.

Nate saw the Lincoln creep back down the street and decided to go back home for a while. He could get his phone and decide what to do from there. He stepped into the house and walked over to the table, seeing the note tucked under his phone.

Nate-

I surely hope you are home safe. I went out looking for you, but had no luck. I will be home later and we can talk. I am sorry for what happened, please let me explain.

Love,

Dad

Nate read the note and felt some satisfaction but was still seething and figured he might as well direct his energy towards something, so he finished his math and then did his chores and finished his evening by doing his history paper. By ten o'clock he was usually exhausted but his nap had given him enough rest to keep wide awake at bedtime. Raylan still wasn't home and Nate had his suspicions as to where he was. He found his coat and put his house key in his pocket as he locked the door behind him, as he began an evening stroll.

Nate had walked several blocks to a neighborhood bar that seemed to have a regular clientele that kept the place hopping. It was a pretty good size and had constant traffic going in and out. The parking lot was overflowing and it was there that he spotted the Lincoln. He figured his father wasn't far but for whatever reason felt the need to relieve his stress by drinking and being away from his son. Perhaps it was the only way he could deal with the blows that had been dealt him. Nate just wished he would hurry up and manage these demons before they consumed the both of them.

Raylan had been in the middle of a game of pool when an argument escalated to the point where he had to break it up. He separated the men and escorted the aggressor to the front door. He tossed the man towards the parking lot and told him not to come back that night. But as he turned to walk back inside he swore he had seen a kid duck behind a car. He stepped outside and walked through the lot but didn't see anybody out of place. He chalked it up to too much bourbon along with an emotional evening.

Nate had watched his father's feet go by from his spot under the car. Apparently he hadn't ducked quite fast enough. He could only imagine what his father would do to him if he caught him out here. He had no regrets about his outburst, but he had probably crossed a line and didn't need to give Raylan any ammunition in which to lessen his side of the argument. He waited a few more minutes then walked back home.

He picked up the note and read it once again. Part of him had wanted to stay out, to get back at his father, but he really had nowhere to go. He had thought of going to Tim's but even if he was home he would just call Raylan, so he decided despite his best efforts he should just go back home. The note made him feel a little better but he feared what retribution might be in store. After all he did say some pretty hurtful things and had used a few unacceptable words not to mention the physicality of the whole ordeal. He turned the TV on and yawned as it flickered to life. He then kicked off his shoes and stretched out on the couch.

Nate had been unsure what to expect, but it certainly wasn't this. Raylan, intoxicated just short of staggering had the belt, folded in half and hanging from his right hand. His words were no longer crisp and his eyes held nothing but anger. Nate felt his body being lifted up and turned over on his stomach, a position that was never comfortable for him; suddenly the belt made contact sending a sharp pain through his body. There had only been one other time he had felt the sting of leather and it was becoming apparent that his father had been holding quite a bit back. Each time the belt came down he heard his name; Nate…Nate…Nate.

"Nate, Nate, wake up son," Raylan said shaking his son's shoulder. Nate opened his eyes and blinked several times. "You were dreaming son. Look, I know it's late, but I really want to talk to you tonight."

"What time is it?" Nate asked rubbing his eyes.

"Midnight," Raylan answered looking at his son.

Nate had been on his side, nearly over on his stomach and he could practically feel the sting from his dream. It had seemed so real, felt so real, the belt cutting through the air, biting into him as it landed, but as he sat up and looked over at his father who was crouching down next to the couch he realized it had never happened. His father hadn't done that to him, he had just gotten home and merely wanted to talk, his belt securely in its loops.

"Look, I'm sorry that I slapped you and that you found out about Miami the way you did." Raylan began, getting up and sitting on the coffee table across from Nate, his long legs cramped in the small space.

"Well I was yelling and hitting you," Nate admitted. "But I'm still pissed that you did that. You said we would go back to Miami but you lied."

"Well it wasn't exactly a lie. I really had wanted to go back, but like I said it's complicated."

"It's all because you killed that guy isn't it? Why did you have to do that?"

"He was a bad guy, who had done bad things. I just wanted him to leave town, but he didn't," Raylan said recalling the scene.

"Did he kill Mom?" Nate asked earnestly. He knew she had been killed in a crossfire incident but the rest had been rumors and innuendos and no one had been arrested or charged for her death.

Raylan should have known his son was astute enough to put it all together. "Yes, I believe he was."

"Why do you believe it, why didn't he get arrested?"

"He was part of the cartel and they can be very tough to prosecute and keep behind bars. Witnesses are scarce or nonexistent while high priced lawyers and bribes are abundant. I needed him gone, but he just wouldn't go. I had more to lose and wasn't going to take the risk."

"Me?" Nate whispered.

"Yes," Raylan answered looking Nate in the eye.

"You did it for me and out of revenge didn't you?"

"I suppose vengeance did have something to do with it. Those who feel life is so cheap don't deserve a place in this world. But the cartel has a long reach and even though I didn't want to leave, Miami was no longer safe," he explained. He left out the part where the cartel came looking for him, but he was sure Nate would put it together some day, but hopefully not anytime soon.

"But didn't they come here looking for you? Isn't that why you went back to Miami that day? "

Raylan's head dropped, realizing that once again, he hadn't given Nate enough credit. "Yes, there was a few that came here looking for their own reprisal. But it is much easier to see them coming from here."

"Did you get the job offer when you went back?"

"Yeah, yes I did. To tell you the truth I was kind of surprised I turned it down. But it just doesn't feel right anymore. I didn't keep it from you to hurt you; there was just no good way to tell you."

Nate just sat trying to absorb it all. He began to chew on his lip as his eyes began to well with tears. "It's just that I miss her so much," he said the tears now falling. "I feel so far away from her here."

Raylan leaned forward and cupped Nate's chin in his hand. "She is always with you, no matter where you are; after all, this is the place where it all began, where we began, where you began."

"I guess so," Nate admitted.

"I am sorry about how you found out, but we need to deal with things a little better than we did. I am sorry I hit you, but you need to understand that I can't allow you to talk to me like that. Like it or not I am your father, and the head of this family and will make decisions you don't like or understand but you will have to accept them. Is that clear?"

Nate nodded silently. Raylan tilted his head looking for more. "Yeah I guess so," Nate said looking up at his dad.

"You guess so, is that the best you can do?"

"Yes sir, it's clear," Nate finally said.

"I'm not perfect, I admit that, but I am trying, and I love you son. I will screw up and I just ask you to bear with me when I do. Can you do that?"

"I'll try, but you have to the same for me."

"Done," Raylan said sticking his hand out for Nate to shake. Nate responded and yawned again. "Now get your butt to bed."

"Okay." Nate said getting up heading to his room.

"Hey," Raylan called out, "what were you dreaming about?"

"All I remember is that it wasn't good." Nate said, happy that his dream had been simply that.

Raylan remained sitting on the coffee table after his son departed. If he wasn't mistaken, he had had very similar dreams to the one that Nate had just had, leaving him jerking and crying out in his sleep in anticipation for the wrath that was to come. But unlike Nate who would suffer no such penalty, Raylan always did.


	26. Missing In Action

**Missing in Action**

Things hadn't gotten any easier as trouble at work ratcheted up and Raylan was still desperately missing Winona. He knew he had slipped from grace in the eyes of his son, but he just couldn't rein in his emotions and he felt it best to be away as much as possible. He just wasn't dealing well with any of the issues that had befallen him and he knew he was taking it out on his son, so he saw his late night foray's to the bar the best for both of them. He just needed some time to figure it all out then he could deal with life again. He had hoped his late night talk with Nate would jolt him out of his funk, but he found that it hadn't; he was still being a lousy father. Perhaps he feared if he stayed close to home he would suddenly turn into his worst fear; his father. So in his own rationalization he felt it best to just step back as it would do less harm.

While Raylan was busy dealing, Nate had become beyond frustrated with his father. It seemed that he couldn't do anything right by him and though he was disappointed when his father left him every evening he was also relieved. Raylan seemed to be making avoidance a new sport, so when Nate got home from a shortened school day, he was surprised to see a voice mail from his father. He pushed the appropriate buttons and his eyes grew wider as the message played out.

Despite orders to stay with him, Tim surprised Raylan by letting him go without a fight despite the awkward elevator ride. Part of him had a feeling it was only because of Tim's relationship with Nate, but he would take what he could get. These accusations of were creating more than a monster headache. He power walked to the parking lot and his face fell as the cops were already knee deep in his trunk. This whole drama was the last thing he needed. Gary dead with him taking the blame and now the FBI was sure he was dirty. He had continued to be an ass to his son and wasn't the least bit surprised when Nate hadn't showed up to help him. Besides the police were already a step ahead and were elbow deep in searching the Lincoln.

"Sorry I didn't get here in time," Nate panted coming up behind him.

"It was a shot in the dark anyway," Raylan said, unable to hold back the smile, caused by the fact that Nate had come. "How did you get here?"

"I was going to ride my bike, but it had a flat so I had to wait on the bus. It took forever, there's a thousand stops between our house and here."

"I appreciate the effort nonetheless." He said beginning to walk towards the car bringing his coffee up to his lips.

"Is Gary really dead? And who's trying to frame you?" Nate asked walking beside his father.

"Yes he is and I don't know for sure, just suspicions which I will keep to myself. I've already told you too much," he said as his phone rang. Nate strained as he watched Lexington's finest paw through the car's trunk. "Winona found the gun at the house."

"Who's house?"

"Hers and Gary's. She's going to meet us. Did you bring the extra key?"

"Yeah right here," Nate said pulling the spare key to the Lincoln out of his pocket.

They waited a few minutes and once it was all clear the two ran to the car and took off. "So is this why you've been so cranky lately?"

"What? I've been cranky?"

"Yeah, drunk and cranky."

"I beg your pardon, I have not been drunk," Raylan said looking across the car at his son.

"Well you've been leaving work late and coming home really late and I know you've gone to that bar down the street."

"And how do you know that?"

"I took a walk one night and saw the car there," Nate said hesitantly. Raylan looked over in disbelief. "You used to never want me to be alone now you're never around, it doesn't make any sense."

"Well you do have an argument there and I apologize, but going back to your late night walk."

"Look, I know you miss Winona and I'm sorry she left, I really am, but I still need you."

"You're right, it's just that I've needed to keep my mind off things and…" Raylan drifted off thinking it wasn't the best idea to tell his eleven year old son that he got his drinks for free since he was the best bouncer with a badge around. "Well sometimes I need adult company."

"You get that at work, what you need is to drink to forget."

"Whoa kiddo, slow down there with your psychology. Let's go back to your midnight walk. You know you aren't allowed to be out at that time of night."

"You either."

"I'm a grown man and you should be pleased I've loosened your leash a bit. It was but a few months ago that I recall a tantrum being thrown because I made you go to camp."

"Yeah you saddled me with camp and now you abandon me, it makes no sense."

"Not much in life does son."

"Am I in trouble?"

"Not this time, but no more late night strolls. Understand?"

"Yeah. Here she comes," Nate said seeing Winona pulling in.

"Wait here," Raylan said.

Nate watched his father get out and walk over to Winona's car. He quietly got out of the car and slunk up behind his dad. "What are you going to do with it? Throw it off a bridge?" She was asking.

"I'm not sure yet," Raylan replied sensing his son behind him.

She was still wearing the look from earlier when she had discovered that it had been Gary who put the hit out on them. She was so angry, she wasn't exactly sure who to direct her fury towards and with Gary dead, Raylan was an easy target. She looked over at Nate, his soft brown eyes uncertain, his body hesitant. She felt badly that the boy had to go through so much; in a sense he had the misfortune of being the Guinea Pig that she had the fortune of learning from. He was everything she didn't want for her child.

"Hello Nate, it's good to see you."

"Hey," Nate said barely above a whisper.

"Don't try and find me this time," she said directing her attention back to Raylan before driving off.

Raylan looked as if he had been slapped. "I'm sorry Dad," Nate said putting his hand on his father's arm.

After the meeting with Winona going south Raylan went from bad to worse. When he was home he was distracted and quiet, Nate unable to get any reaction out of him whatsoever, which he discovered was even worse than when Raylan was cranky. But one night he broke out of his silent shell.

Earlier that day Nate had gotten into a bit of trouble at school being sent to the office for insubordination. It wouldn't have merited much attention but since he had already been suspended for fighting and he had had two detentions for being late, the vice principal decided this latest dissent needed to be brought to the attention of a parent.

"Please don't call my dad Mr. Teller. I'm sorry for what I said, I'll accept detention, just don't call him." Nate begged.

"Are there problems at home Nate?" he asked, voicing concern.

"No sir, it's just he's been super busy at work and this is the last thing he needs."

"Well then you should have thought of that before you opened your mouth and landed here."

What Nate couldn't say was that the frustration that caused him to act out had stemmed from his father. Mr. Teller dialed the number listed in the file and waited for an answer, while Nate prayed it went to voice mail. As the seconds passed Nate realized his wish had come true. Mr. Teller was forced to leave a message, and Nate left his office feeling as if he had dodged a bullet. With his father's mood lately chances were he wouldn't even check his messages.

Raylan had been tracking down leads, talking to those who might be able to give him the straight story on who was spreading rumors that he was dirty. Despite the fact that he was supposedly on Boyd's payroll he had a hard time believing that his old friend had been the source of these rumors. Raylan had planned on heading straight to the bar to unwind but needed a phone number from a file he had at home. He parked in the driveway and could see the light from the TV flickering through the mini blinds. He pulled his key out, but before he placed it in the lock he tried the knob and found it turned easily in his hand. He threw the door forward and angrily stomped into the house.

Nate jumped as the door flew open. "Dad, your home," he said realizing his grievous error.

"Yes I am, what is rule number one when you are home alone?" He asked, his eyes reflecting how irritated he was.

"Lock the door," Nate admitted sheepishly.

"So what was wrong with this picture?"

"I left the door unlocked."

"Dammit Nate, you are old enough to know better and be more responsible," Raylan fumed.

"I'm sorry, I just forgot."

"You forgot, bad things can happen when important things are forgotten."

"Well maybe if you were home more bad things wouldn't be an issue," Nate spat back.

"My job isn't nine to five and you know that."

"It's not your job I'm speaking of," Nate said his eyes matching his fathers in intensity.

"Well I'm here now and I think the best place for you is your bedroom," Raylan ordered.

"It's better than being here with you," Nate argued stomping down the hall to his room.

After his son had departed Raylan sat down on the couch hand held his head in his hands wondering how it had all spiraled out of control. He just couldn't balance all the disasters that he had been forced to juggle. A big part of him wanted to go apologize to his son, but instead he got up and left, heading down the street to find his favorite release.

Nate had been texting back and forth with Taylor, a girl in his class who was having a slumber party to celebrate her thirteenth birthday. She lived two blocks away and was practically begging him to ratchet up the excitement value by crashing the gathering. He had helped her one day after Dylan had knocked her books out of her hands. Nate had been the only one to stop and help her pick up the scattered tools of learning. Since then she had looked at him differently; earlier in the week she joined him at his lunch table. He wasn't sure what to make of any it and Raylan wasn't quite in the mood for advice so he just sort of remained quiet about it all. But now since his father had left once again, he decided that he would just take her up on her invitation. He got up and put his coat on and trudged the two blocks north.

He saw the bi-level home in the middle of the block, the lower rooms lit up. Taylor had told him that the family room would be party central and to either call her or knock on the window when he got there. He pulled his phone out and saw that it was eleven-thirty. The upper windows appeared dark, but he knew he should tread lightly. He walked up to the window and laid down on his stomach which was far from a comfortable position for him. He dialed the phone as he tapped on the window, wondering which would gain him entrance first.

The immediate shrieks from within indicated that he had been spotted. Taylor looked up and walked over and used the couch to give her the height needed to unlock the window. Nate looked down at the descent in front of him and blew out a mouthful of air. He wiggled his body through the opening and fell to the couch, his discomfort reminding him he was not a healthy boy.

"You okay?" Taylor asked.

"Not the best thing for my ailing body."

"Oh sorry, I forgot about that." She apologized. She had asked him while sharing the lunch table why he brown bagged it. Nate reluctantly shared his tale of misery with her, but found her very sympathetic to his plight.

Nate brushed himself off and unzipped his coat as he looked around. "Damn, do you think you left any junk food for the rest of the city?" Marshmallows, chips, cupcakes, cookies as well as soda bottles littered the room.

"It's a party," Lauren exclaimed from her spot next the stereo.

"Where are your parents?" Nate asked.

"Upstairs, I'm sure they have ear plugs in and the noise machine on. I didn't think you were coming."

"Well I had to wait for an opportunity, it's not like I can just waltz out ya know?" Nate answered, even though circumstances had said he could.

"I heard you ended up in Teller's office, figured you were grounded," Madison chimed in.

Nate just shrugged wondering the same thing. "So what do you guys do at these things?" Nate asked looking around.

Taylor merely smiled and began the festivities. Nate found himself in a place few males had ever been and sudden clarity came over him. He realized that he had become the object of Taylor's affection. How could have not understood the writing on the wall. For a smart kid he suddenly felt so dumb.

He enjoyed a rousing game of Twister, Jenga, musical chairs and an impromptu game of dodge ball using throw pillows. There was talk of playing spin the bottle which Nate was more than interested in, but discovered it wouldn't really work since he was the only guy. The girls all knew Taylor had her eye on him and they weren't about to impede on her efforts at snagging the boy so it was suggested that they play the ever favorite slumber party game; truth or dare.

Truths and dares were traded amongst a few when the game finally found Taylor. "Truth or dare?" Missy asked her.

"Truth," she replied hesitantly.

"You want to jump Nate's bones?"

Taylor just sat with her mouth open. "Good grief Missy," she said beginning to laugh.

"Rephrase the question," Amy suggested.

"You want to be his girlfriend," Missy stated.

Taylor's cheeks flushed red. She hadn't looked at Nate since the questioning began and was silently cursing Missy. She should have known this was going to happen. She cleared her throat as she was interrupted by Amy, "remember you have to tell the truth."

"I will, just give me a second. If I had the chance, I think it would be fun to be Nate's girlfriend. There I said it," she yelled to all her friends who were oohing and aahing. She hated to look at Nate to see what he thought of this whole line of questioning.

"Okay Nate, it's your turn," Madison said. "I'll ask since Taylor is all out of sorts. Nate, truth or dare?"

Nate was still trying to come to grips with the fact that Taylor wanted to be his girlfriend. "Um, dare," he finally choked out.

Several evil smiles emerged. "Okay then, you have to kiss Taylor." Amy suggested.

"In front of us," Missy added.

"I can do that," Nate said confidently, ready to take up the challenge. Unbeknownst to anybody in the room, he had yet to turn twelve and hadn't yet kissed a girl. But he had to admit he was looking at them very differently. He looked over at Taylor who looked like she either wanted to run away or throw-up. He made his move crawling over to where she sat on the floor. He got up on his knees and pulled her up so they were looking at each other. He leaned in and gently their lips touched. They would have held it for longer but all the squealing the erupted from around them ruined the moment. Soon pillows were flying leading to an evening ending pillow fight that soon escalated to a war. That war unfortunately was terminated when Taylor's father heard the din over his ear plugs and crashing waves from his noise machine. He saw that it was after one in the morning and was going to put a stop to the noise; what he didn't expect was to find a child of the male persuasion laughing it up with his daughter and her friends.

"At risk of sounding like a skit from Sesame Street, there is something here that doesn't belong," Mr. Baldwin said. "Who are you young man?"

Nate dropped the pillow that he was holding and cleared his throat. "I'm Nate."

"Nate what?"

"Nate Givens."

"And you are here why?"

"Because I invited him Dad." Taylor said inserting herself between Nate and her father.

Wayne Baldwin gave his daughter a harsh glare. "And why did you do that? Never mind don't answer that. How did you get here Nate?"

"I walked; I live just a couple blocks away."

"And your parents have no problem with you being out at 1:30 in the morning?"

"I can't really answer that," Nate said.

"Do they know you are here?"

"No sir," Nate admitted.

"Well then why don't we give them a call then."

"Dad you're such a jerk!" Taylor shrieked.

"Do you want me to call everybody's parents and have the come get their daughters? I don't think they would be too pleased to know that you all have been down here unsupervised with a boy."

"I can give you my dad's number," Nate interjected hoping that would take his focus off the girls.

Wayne returned his glare to Nate. He walked across the room and picked up the cordless phone and returned stopping in front of Nate. "I'll dial it for you," Nate offered taking the phone. After punching the appropriate numbers he handed the phone back to the unhappy man.

Raylan had just escorted a grumpy drunk to the parking lot when is phone rang. He didn't recognize the number but figured it had to be worth answering considering the late hour. He pushed the applicable prompt and answered, "Givens."

Wayne had been concerned that he would be speaking to a sleepy, mumbling man but it appeared that Mr. Givens was every bit as wide awake as he was. "Mr. Givens do you have a son named Nate?"

"Yes, is he okay?" Raylan quickly asked his voice laced with concern.

"Oh yes, he's just fine," Wayne answered and went on to explain what was going on. The two men fired sporadic chatter back and forth until Wayne said goodbye and hung up. "He's on his way to get you. He should be here in a few minutes. Nate you come with me to the living room to wait while you girls," he said looking at the audience grouped around him, "settle down and go to sleep."

"I hate you," Taylor seethed.

"Good to know darling, remember you said that the next time you want something."

"Sorry Taylor, I ruined your birthday," Nate said.

"No you made my birthday, my dad ruined it," she said in a huff throwing herself down on the couch, landing with a dramatic flair.

Nate decided to wait in the entryway, peering out the narrow vertical windows next to the front door. He had no idea what shape his father might be in and he didn't want to be embarrassed if Raylan wasn't sober. Finally a set of headlights flooded the street in front of him. "He's here," Nate announced opening the front door hoping he could just slip out alone.

The girls had all silently tiptoed up the back staircase and had piled in front of the window of Taylor's bedroom which faced the street. They saw the dark car pull up and a tall, imposing man with a cowboy hat make his way towards the house. He had strong and steady pace causing the girls to collectively gasp.

"He's a cowboy," Missy said.

"Wonder what he'll do to Nate?" Madison asked.

"I bet he gets grounded," Missy responded.

"Nuh uh, I bet he gets a whippin'," Amy announced. "He looks like a daddy that would do that," she said assuredly.

"How can you tell?" asked Madison, "all I see is a hat."

Taylor stayed silent, feeling responsible for Nate's predicament. She watched the boy emerge from the house with her father trailing behind him.

Nate headed down the sidewalk dismayed that Mr. Baldwin had followed him out of the house. Raylan had climbed from the car and made his way towards his son. Nate was relieved that his gait was steady though less than thrilled that he was still looking very much like a marshal with his gun and badge clipped to his belt.

"Mr. Givens I presume?" Wayne Baldwin asked sticking his hand out as Raylan neared.

"Yes, thank you for calling me. I'm sorry that you had to," he said looking down at Nate.

"I'm glad I didn't wake you out of a dead sleep. What does the badge signify?"

"Hmm? Oh I'm a Deputy US Marshal."

"Are you still working at this late hour?"

"Fact finding comes at all hours of the day and night," Raylan said smiling as he adjusted his hat. "Nate apologize to Mr. Baldwin for crashing his daughters party."

"I'm sorry for being here without your knowledge."

"Well you were invited, just not by me. I just didn't want you or your wife to worry; I can't imagine what it would be like to realize your child wasn't at home at this time of night."

"Terrifying I'm sure." Raylan said disregarding the comment about his nonexistent wife. "I would have been in that very place shortly as I was about to head home. I wouldn't have handled the discovery well. I appreciate you getting in touch with me. I am sorry about all this and Nate and I will be having a long talk about it."

"Not a problem Marshal."

The girls continued to peer down from above. "He's got a star on him, does that mean he's a deputy of some kind," Lauren asked.

"Nate's gonna get a beatin' fer sure," Amy stated.

Taylor furrowed her brows in a mixture of frustration and sympathy for her part in Nate's situation. Now he would never want to be with her.

The Givens walked down the sidewalk towards the car. Nate a few steps ahead of his father climbing in the car quietly. Nothing was said as Raylan started the Lincoln and pulled away into the darkness. The two block drive took no time and it was only a few moments before they were at home.

Nate hung up his jacket and continued his silence. Raylan audibly sighed behind him causing the boy to turn around.

"What? You expect an apology; want me to throw myself on the mercy of the marshal? Not gonna happen." Nate stated.

"Well," Raylan said looking a bit surprised at his son's outburst. "Actually I'm not sure what I'm looking for."

"I wasn't going to go, because it wasn't worth sneaking out, but you made it so that all I had to do was walk out, I could have announced it if I wanted to. In fact you've made my life very easy because now, I don't answer to anyone."

"Is that how you see it?"

"No that's how it is. If I see you more than ten minutes a day; it's cause for celebration. Now I know Winona left you, and that she was pregnant with your child, and I'm sure it hurts like hell, but you know what? You have another child, who waited his turn to be a part of your life and you have totally shut me out. I'm sorry for your problems and I know there are quite a few, but instead of treating me like just another thing to deal with, treat me like your son and someone who might be able to help you. If you keep drinking your night away then trust me when I say you will be miserable and alone." Nate turned around walked to his bedroom and slammed the door.

Raylan followed him, but stopped when he got to the door. He rested his head on the doorframe and stood there quietly absorbing his sons words. Nate had a lot of things right and it was hard for Raylan to accept that. He finally knocked and opened the door. Nate was laying on his bed, fully clothed, tear tracks on the side of his face.

"You're right, I screwed up and drove Winona away and now I'm screwing up and driving you away. I'm sorry Nate. It's just that I feel like I'm toxic to everything around me and I didn't want you to get caught in that."

"Bullshit Dad," Nate replied. "Armed gunmen have invaded our home and you didn't go off and drink all hours of the night. I don't think it gets more toxic that that. Please don't play the 'I'm protecting you from me' card. It's kinda cliché and I'm not buying it. Did you ever think that perhaps I could provide a distraction? You did call when you needed help with the gun, but then you just as easily dismissed me and that totally sucks."

"You're right son it does suck, this whole thing sucks. Come with me," Raylan said reaching out his hand to Nate who was still perched on his bed.

"No thanks."

Raylan sighed as he pulled his hand back. "Don't make me ask again Nate."

"Why should I do what you say when you won't even acknowledge me?"

"Well I'm acknowledging you now," Raylan said reaching out and grabbing his son and tugging him his direction. He pulled Nate down the hall and out the front door.

"What are we doing?" Nate asked pulling his arm away once they had gotten outside.

"Do you remember when you were in Florida and I was still at Glynco and I would tell you to go outside and look at the stars and moon when we were on the phone?"

"Yeah."

"Did you actually go outside?"

Nate paused, "yeah I did go outside. You always said we didn't seem so far away from each other if we were looking at the same stars."

"That's right, and I was out there looking at those same stars as well. Some days it would be so hard to wait until it was time to call you so we could look at the constellations together."

"And yet you so easily chose the bourbon over the boy," Nate responded.

"Yes, yes I have, and I'm sorry for that. When I found out your mother was pregnant with you at first I was excited, thrilled, but then as time progressed I got scared. Do you know why?"

"No, why?" Nate asked, taking the bait.

"Because fatherhood is a privilege that I wasn't sure I deserved. I had no idea how I would react, if I would be any good at it. Let's face it; I didn't have much of a mentor in that department. My biggest fear was that I would turn out like Arlo."

"But you didn't; even now in your current condition, you're still better than him."

"I'm glad you feel that way, despite my recent behavior. But some of what I said is true; my mood has been piss poor and I figure lashing out at strangers is better than laying it on you. Bouncing drunks out on their ass can be very therapeutic."

"Well therapy is over. I'm not saying you can't go out and play once in a while but I need you too. Maybe between the two you can figure out what you need to do to fix your piss poor attitude."

"Right now I need to figure out what to do with you and your piss poor attitude." Raylan replied.

"About what?"

"I had a lovely voicemail from Mr. Teller. He said you had a bout of insubordination today; which you topped off with your little escapade tonight."

"Well then, I figure we're even, actually I figure you still owe me."

"Well I may have acted like an ass, but you are a child, a child who is getting a little uppity and who was out past his personal curfew, and the city of Lexington's curfew and that has to be dealt with."

"I disagree."

"Doesn't matter, being a father has a few perks and being able to say, ' because I'm the dad and I said so' is one of them. I say you owe me a week." Nate's eyes narrowed as he balked at Raylan's decision. "Well we could revisit the side of the road." Raylan continued.

Confusion took hold on Nate's face as he struggled to understand what his father was talking about. He looked over at Raylan who cocked an eyebrow and suddenly it came back to him. The day back in Harlan County right after Coover had been killed. Nate had been full of attitude and wouldn't yield until Raylan pulled the car off to the side of a very quiet road and did his best Arlo impression. The ride home had been somewhat uncomfortable for the boy but the action had cleared the air.

"I hated that," Nate said quietly.

"I know you did, that's why I did it. I figured I could hold it over your head until you were eighteen. I'll tell you what – how about we're both grounded for the week. Me being an ass saved yours."

"Sounds good to me," Nate agreed staring up into the night sky. "But until I'm eighteen? Come on Dad."

"Remember where you are," Raylan reminded.

"Yeah yeah, I have a feeling you won't ever let me forget." Nate said gazing back up at the night sky.

The moon, just short of being full, looked slightly distorted. The shape was somewhat lopsided and unbalanced. Raylan stared up at it feeling similar to the sphere and wondering if he would ever truly fill out as father. The moon could not help but follow its path, but Raylan was alone in his efforts that were subject to many mistakes and errors in judgment. His path wasn't quite as clear or illuminated. He blinked several times and looked down at his son who was also gazing at the imperfect image shining down on them.

"Dad," Nate said quietly.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you," Nate said walking over and wrapping his arms around Raylan's waist.

Surprised, Raylan reciprocated, holding his son close. He looked down and asked, "for what?"

"For not being Arlo, for being better than that, for breaking the cycle and for being my dad."

Raylan swallowed hard as a tidal wave of emotions bubbled up into his chest and throat. He enjoyed the moment and finally the embrace broke. "So how was it, being the lone male in the midst of that sea estrogen?" Raylan said changing the subject.

"It was awesome Dad," Nate said smiling.


	27. Complicated Situation

**Complicated Situation**

The week had progressed with father and son metaphorically circling each other waiting for the other to blink. Raylan waited for Nate's attitude to sour, while Nate waited for Raylan to slip off to the bar. But they both remained on course and for the most part had enjoyed their time to get reacquainted. So it pained Nate when he saw Raylan gear up and head towards the door one night.

"I see, your week is over so you're out of here. Thanks for forcing yourself to spend time with me." Nate snapped.

"Now why would I want to take you with an attitude like that?" Raylan asked.

"Like you're going to take me with you," Nate scoffed.

"Not if you're going to act like that. Look I need to work on a statement and you're great with words, but I need to get the hell out of here, so you up for it or what?"

"Sure. A statement about what?" Nate asked slipping into his jacket.

"I'll explain it to you on the way," he said.

"A bar, you're bringing me to a bar?" Nate asked incredulously as they arrived. The jukebox was blasting out a bluesy tune that he recognized as one of his mother's favorites, one she used to help wake her up every morning.

"I think better here."

Nate wondered how anybody could think in this atmosphere, but he was willing to try. He looked around at the young clientele who in turn stared back at the marshal's pint sized side kick. The bartender smiled as they headed her way. "Well hey there marshal, brought your partner with you tonight I see."

"Yes I did, this is my son Nate. Nate this is Lindsay."

"Hi," Nate said smiling nervously.

"He's here to help me with a statement I have to write."

"Oh, what about?" she asked as she poured a bourbon for Raylan.

"To keep a man named Dickie Bennett in jail for crimes he is currently incarcerated for."

"Well, I see then. And you're going to help put the words to paper?" she asked Nate as she brought over a glass filled with a dark substance.

"Thanks but I can't have it," Nate said pushing the glass back towards her. "It's not my dad," he explained as she glanced over at Raylan, "I have to be on a special diet."

"Well I'm sorry to hear that. How about some water?"

Nate nodded continuing to look around. "What do you have so far?" he asked.

"Not much at all," Raylan answered showing him the notebook.

"Well at least you know your name," Nate answered tapping the pen on the notebook. "Well let's see what I can do. We need to keep the bastard in jail for Helen."

"Go for it kiddo," Raylan said sipping his bitter brew.

Nate began to furiously write as his father marveled at the boys abilities. He sipped and conversed with Lindsay. Smiles were shared across the bar as Nate continued his activity oblivious to the growing chemistry around him.

Suddenly the air pressure seemed to change as Robert Quarles and Wynn Duffy entered the bar. Raylan got up and met the two trying to understand the logic of this move. "I tried to tell him this wasn't a great idea," Wynn explained.

Raylan waited for Quarles to speak but the man was preoccupied as he gazed at Nate who had spun around on his barstool and was watching the impromptu meeting. He was transfixed on the boy who fearlessly stared back.

"Hey, you came here to talk so talk," Raylan ordered.

"Is that your boy?" Quarles asked with a dreamlike voice.

"Your business is with me," Raylan said trying to get him to refocus.

Duffy sat looking very uncomfortable as Quarles continued to gawk at the younger Givens.

Once Quarles got on point, the conversation was brief and then turned threatening. Raylan, not one to stand idly by after being threatened, ordered everybody out of the bar. He had shot a hole in the ceiling to let the man know he was serious and ready to discuss this little warning that had been extended. Quarles had laid down a threat that Raylan just couldn't allow. If the man wanted to have it out, then he was more than happy to oblige.

"Okay then, so how does this work, we count it down, I draw first?" Quarles asked.

"It doesn't matter how we play this as it will end with you dead on the ground." Raylan answered.

"You really want to do that in front of your boy?" he asked thrusting his head in the younger Givens direction.

"It's not like I haven't seen it before," Nate called back from his spot at the bar.

"Nate, you were supposed to leave with the group." Raylan yelled not taking his eyes off of his opponent.

"What and miss all the fun?"

Suddenly they all heard a shotgun being cocked. "I'll tell everybody something," Lindsay said, "don't think that I can't or won't paint that wall behind you courtesy of this weapon that I am more than comfortable using."

Quarles nodded his head smiling. "Another day then. Nate, it was nice to meet you." The men departed, leaving an eerie quiet in their wake.

The remaining trio made the short trip back to the Given's homestead where Nate continued to work on his father's statement while Lindsay and Raylan grew a little closer.

"You sure this is okay? I mean your boy isn't stupid or far," Lindsay said as they were disrobing.

"No he is far from stupid, but believe me he won't mind," he assured.

And Raylan was right, Nate could have cared less. He was just happy his father was home and entertained. He put the finishing touches on the statement and put it on the dining room table. He had already asked his father if he could go to court but was told no. He had debated about throwing a tantrum but decided his father had been somewhat serious with his 'side of the road' threat the week before, so he let it be.

The next morning Raylan yawned as he sauntered out into the living room. Nate swallowed a pill and finished his juice. "Have a good night?" The boy asked as he looked up at his father with a big smile.

"Yes, thank you," Raylan replied.

"The statement is on the table, just read it verbatim and it should be fine. Are you sure I can't come?"

"Yes I am. I don't want you anywhere near Dickie Bennett. Your place is at school, so be there learning so you can write the next statement."

"You have no problem taking me to a bar, but yet are uncomfortable taking me into a court of law. You make no sense."

"Hmm, believe it or not, you are not the first to say that."

"I believe it," Nate said as he dashed out the door.

"So, are you ready?" Art asked as they met up before heading into the courtroom.

"I'm good and ready. Nate wrote out a statement."

"What's it say?" Art asked.

"I don't know, I never read it," Raylan admitted.

"Give it to me," Art said grabbing it from the deputy.

Dickie Bennett is a miscreant of the highest regard. He has earned the right to be where he is and has spent much of his life. His family offers no support as they are either dead or in prison themselves. This offender is just that; an offender and has proven he can be no more than that very title. His life has revolved around corruption and injustice as he simply knows no other way of life and it is clear that he is beyond rehabilitation. There is no doubt that he killed someone very dear to me and irrevocably changed the course of my life as he ended hers.

And if that wasn't enough, this man before you was also responsible for kidnapping and attempting to murder me, a US Deputy Marshall. If not interrupted there would have been one more death on this man's hands. And that is what exactly will happen if he is set free.

Art nodded his head as he read the words. "Stick with this and Judge Reardon will keep Bennett in jail forever and your paths will never cross again."

Raylan forced a smile as Art handed him the paper back. They followed David Vasquez into the courtroom where Dickie was waiting. The judge came in moments later and Raylan stepped to the front of the room. "I'd rather just stand here, if that's okay?"

"Sure, let's just get on with it," the judge said.

Raylan cleared his throat and looked at the paper. He had skimmed it quickly while they were waiting for his honor. He couldn't deny that his son hit a homerun, but as he cleared his throat and introduced himself he found something nagging at him.

After his introduction he began to read, but as he looked up at Dickie and then back at his cheat sheet the last line stood out to him. He hesitated, knowing his son would be upset, but he couldn't help himself.

"You know what, let him out. He won't be able to keep his nose clean. He'll screw up again and if he doesn't end up dead, he'll put himself right back in jail."

All eyes were on Raylan who shrugged them off as he took his seat. Art's eyes grew large, "did that go how you rehearsed it?"

"No, not really."

"Nate's going to be pissed."

"Yep, guess I'll have to owe him."

.

"What do you mean you didn't read it?" Nate demanded to know.

"Well I adlibbed and it didn't work out so well," Raylan admitted.

"He deserved to stay in jail, he deserves to die…wait," Nate paused the light going on in his eyes; "I see what you're doing."

"You do?"

"Yeah, I get your plan."

"What plan son?"

Nate nodded and smiled. "I have no idea what I'm talking about Dad." Nate went back to his room and realized that with Dickie back out in the world he was much more susceptible to taking a stray or not so stray bullet.

The hours that unfolded for Robert Quarles since his eyes had danced over Nate Givens, had been long and filled with his image. The boy's face was that of an angel, his thick hair falling perfectly, his dark eyes intense yet amused, his father's features tempered by what must have been his mother's offerings. His body lean, tense but not tentative. This was the child he had dreamed of for so very long.

As he disrobed his thoughts returned again and again, to the prize that he would have one day. Images of what he would do with the boy danced in his head as he walked into the bathroom to where the bound prostitute awaited. This was not the prize he was seeking, but it would do…for now.


	28. Family Ties

**Family Ties**

With all the turmoil flying around, Raylan was ecstatic when Cade called him and said he was on his way up for a few days. He had managed to score some leave and wanted to meet his nephew. The two men kept it a secret so when there was a knock at the door one evening Raylan sent Nate to open it, grateful for the upcoming distraction.

Cade stood quietly wondering what he should say or do. It had been so long ago that he had seen Nate, who would in no way remember him. He and Nadine had been so close when they were growing up, they often spoke in hushed tones about their escape from Harlan county. After boot camp and his advanced individual training he had spoken to Nadine about coming to Arizona where he was stationed, but their mother was sick at the time and she refused to leave her. By the time the opportunity came up again she had fallen head over heels with a US deputy marshal.

Suddenly the door opened revealing shortened version of Raylan with dabs of Nadine. His pictures hadn't done the boy justice. His eyes held a life all their own, of stories past and present, of a life full of hardship and mystery. This boy in the slight body with thick brown hair and the festive eyes took one second to realize who the man was standing awkwardly at the front door.

"You came," Nate squealed with delight. "I knew you would."

"I have tried and tried, but sometimes Uncle Sam doesn't care."

Nate stepped forward and wrapped his arms around the soldier. Cade smiled and reciprocated, thrilled that the boy had so readily accepted him. They eventually parted and Cade looked up to see Raylan extending his hand with a broad smile on his face. "Great to see you," he said welcoming him inside.

"Nice place," he said setting down his bag and looking around.

"No palace but it will do," Raylan said. "Can I get you something to drink?"

"Soda is fine or whatever you have." Nate raced off and came back with a coke all while smiling at his uncle.

They spent the remainder of the evening talking about school, the Army, patrols, IED's and how long it had been since they had seen each other. Cade recalled waving goodbye to the toddler, but to Nate it was naturally all a blank. It was after ten when Raylan had to order the tired boy to bed. It was more the fatigue that persuaded him to bed rather than his father, but he finally complied after Cade assured him that he would be on the couch in the morning.

"I see a lot of Nadine in there," Cade said now nursing a beer.

"Oh yeah, yet I get the blame for it all," Raylan said causing Cade to laugh.

"I'm sure you do. She was fiercely independent and that is what scared our father so much. What he feared eventually came true."

"The two of you leaving?

"Yeah, he was able to let me go, but Nadie was a different story." He said using his sister's nickname. "He wanted to keep her close," he said looking into the distance. "She always had a crush on you, from that first baseball game she saw you at. She was so excited to work the concession stand that day. She had just turned fourteen and she looked up to see you standing there in all your baseball glory."

Raylan smiled. "She was cute, but I was a bit too old for her and that Campbell name was well known, and nothing I wanted to deal with. She was persistent though."

"You became her hero when you took Dickie Bennett's knee out. He had bothered her all year long, not wanting to take no for an answer, so when you sent him reeling that day, he forgot all about her. It wasn't long after that I found her notebook with your name scribbled all over it."

Raylan's eyebrows danced for a moment. "I did think of her often as well."

"Then one day, long after I'm gone I get this call that she has fallen in love, but not to worry because he's a marshal and will take her far away from holler life. It took two more phone calls before I could wedge your name out of her."

"And I'm sure you were disappointed," Raylan answered.

"Not in you, I always liked you. We had things in common, like shitty childhoods and criminal parents, but I just wanted more for her. I wanted somebody with no ties and no roots to the hills to sweep her off her feet and far away."

"I tried Cade, I really did. I took every assignment I could to get the promotions I needed to get away from here and in the end that seemed to be the problem."

"She missed you so much when you were gone. She knew what you were doing and why, but she was never patient. Once she got pregnant the timeline was no longer in her control. You were so often on the perimeter and Nate was vulnerable."

"What happened, tell me what happened the day she left?" Raylan begged as he sat straight up.

"First let me tell you, she loved you very much and really wanted it all to work out, but…"

"But what? She would never tell me what happened, not even years later. I wanted to believe something precipitated her departure, but eventually I just blamed myself."

"Well you know how she insisted on having a job, her own place in this world right?" Raylan nodded. He had told her they could make it on his salary but Nadine wanted her own income, to make her own way in the world. "She went to pick Nate up from daycare one day and he wasn't there. The one worker said a man had picked him up. She hoped beyond hope that you had gotten back into town and picked him up, but she knew you would have called and told her. Another worker insisted that she had called and given permission for her father to pick Nate up."

"But of course she hadn't."

"Right, he probably threatened her within an inch of her life so she would comply. Anyway she flew down to Harlan and there he was in the living room with Nate on his lap. Raylan, he wouldn't give him up to her, even when Nate began to scream for her. He told her that her place was with her family, he said that it was bad enough that I had left, that it was her duty to make up for my departure. Raylan you have no idea how much that killed me to hear."

"I'm sure it was tough."

"She told him it was fine, she and Nate would move back to Harlan that she would leave you claiming you just weren't around enough." Raylan's body felt a stab of guilt causing his face to contort ever so slightly. "But she said it was only fair for her to give two weeks' notice to her employer, that otherwise it would look fishy. He agreed so she spent the two weeks by herself in your apartment making her getaway plans. She had been forced to leave Nate in Harlan."

"He was the collateral?"

"Yes, he was the insurance that she wouldn't leave. That first weekend back she convinced him to let her take Nate to the store and pick up some items so she could fix an old fashioned weekend meal for everybody. She had him fooled, or his eyes and ears outside the compound let him down."

"And she left," Raylan said sighing.

"That she did, never looked back again. Unfortunately it meant leaving you too, and she hated that fact. She missed you so much when you were on the road."

"I hated being gone, but it was the quickest way to move up in the ranks. I would finish tracking one fugitive down and they would send me out on another. I was afraid if I said no, we would be stuck in Kentucky forever. And look where I am now." He sighed in defeat and the cruelty of it all.

"Yeah, your turn, you killed that guy in Miami out of vengeance didn't you?"

"He drew first, I just wanted him out of town, away from my son and he wouldn't do it."

"Was he the shooter?"

"According to witnesses yes, but those same onlookers all refused to testify so I needed to take matters into my own hand."

"And that's the hand that shot him." Cade stated.

"Yes it was. And now I brought Nate back to the same mess she risked everything to get him away from. Do you think they know we're back?" Raylan asked speaking of Cade's and Nadine's family.

"Oh yeah, they know. But they aren't going to mess with an experienced marshal with an itchy trigger finger. Believe me they don't want you nosing anywhere around them."

"Still in business then?"

"Oh yeah. One thing we both learned after we left…"

"What?" Raylan asked.

"There's no easy way to be free."

The days flew by with Nate missing two days of school in order to bond with his uncle. They got along great and it thrilled Raylan to see them together. Other than Nadine, Cade was the only other one of the family to leave the area. They had shared much more than the same birthday, they had shared the dream of being far from the home in which they had been raised.

Cade's visit had been a great distraction for all involved but unfortunately the world didn't stop revolving and the criminals didn't stop their activities either. Things were heating up in Harlan and it was once again time to focus on the chaos at hand. So as hard as it was to say goodbye, it was time to get back to life.

The last morning of the visit was hectic as Cade finished packing up while Raylan and Nate prepared for their day. They all were in the driveway, Nate trying not to be too sad as his uncle tossed his bag into the backseat of the car.

"I'm so glad you came," Nate said. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too kiddo, maybe next time you can come visit me. I can give you tour of the base."

"That would be awesome…oh I forgot something, don't leave yet," Nate said spinning around jogging back to the house.

"Guess you're stuck for a few more minutes." Raylan said with an awkward smile.

"Not a problem," Cade said looking towards the front door. "Raylan," he began with enough hesitation to get the marshals attention.

"What's up?" Raylan asked.

"She wasn't just protecting Nate by leaving," he blurted out.

"What do you mean?"

"Part of her leaving was to protect you as well. The old man told her that if she didn't break it off…he'd kill you. Said he couldn't take the risk of any kind of link to a federal marshal and that she had better break that tie or he would." Raylan just stood still, staring off into the distance. "I wasn't sure if I should tell you, but you needed to know."

Before Raylan could respond or even digest what he had just heard Nate came charging back outside waving a picture frame around. "Dad printed this out at work," he said handing a framed picture of Cade and Nate at a local horse park they had visited days earlier.

"Awesome dude, I have the perfect spot for it too. I'll e-mail you when I get back. Take care of yourself."

"I will," Nate said smiling. He leaned in and hugged his uncle. "I'll miss you."

"And I you. Raylan thank you for the hospitality."

"Anytime Cade, you are welcome back whenever you can get away."

"I'll remember that," he nodded.

"Thanks for everything," Raylan added.

"Just keep what I said in mind."

"I will," Raylan said stepping away from the car.

The final waves were given and Nate watched the car disappear around the corner. "What are you supposed to keep in mind?" he asked.

"Just grown-up crap, nothing that would interest you. Hurry up and get your stuff, we need to leave in three minutes or you'll be late."

As Nate ambled off to gather his belongings Raylan stared off down the road and rehashed all that he had found out the last few days and none of it settled well. He had always had suspicions but hearing it as fact was still troubling nonetheless.


	29. Bad to Worse part I

**Bad to Worse Part 1 of 3**

The days since Cade's departure had been a whirlwind that ended with mixed reviews. The ongoing shell game of who has Mag's fortune and where is it hidden had finally ended. It would have made for great soap opera fodder but Raylan was frustrated at having to waste a lot of his time in the middle of it. In the end it did seem that all that Ellston Limehouse truly wanted was for him and his holler to be left alone. Mags money ended up where she wanted, and it was in a much better place than in the hands of her greedy and no good son.

The good part of the ordeal was that Raylan had had the opportunity to shoot Dickie Bennett. He knew that would satisfy Nate and help erase his blunder in court the week before. But there were still a lot of loose ends and that scared the hell out of him. Tom had been shot and was in the hospital, and Raylan didn't exactly know how severe his wound was. Boyd was missing as was Quarles, and that didn't bode well at all. And he still at no idea how crackers Arlo was. Things were bound to get worse before they got better, but right now he had to put this day to bed and have a conversation with his son.

Raylan finally got back to the marshal's office. He was exhausted as the day had already been a long one with everyone's plans crisscrossing like an absurd spider web. The second guessing and outwitting of one another had risen to epic proportions. It would have been kind of entertaining if Raylan hadn't been so entangled. The other thing that had bothered him was the fact that his son had been in the middle of it. Not in person, but with his ability to keep a secret. He had had the Marshal Service pick up both Loretta and Nate for their safety and they both sat waiting in the conference room talking like the old friends they were. After he let Loretta go home with warnings of Lexus' and Van Halen he shut the door and shook his head at his son.

"You knew this whole time that she had the money?" he asked Nate.

"Yes sir I did," he admitted.

"You knew we were all chasing something that was where it was supposed to be. Unbelievable! Did it ever occur to you to let me in on it?"

"Yeah, but I promised Loretta I wouldn't. It was the only way that Mags felt she could at least make a dent in what she did to Loretta by killing her father. That girl deserved a break and I wasn't going to be the one to take it away from her. Besides you can't be too pissed, you got to shoot Dickie and neither he nor Boyd got their mitts on the money."

"Watch your mouth and you're right I'm not disappointed about that outcome, but damn boy." He stood there and looked at his son who looked right back at him with no regrets. "At least I know you can keep a secret." Nate only smiled in return. "Listen to me, there is a very bad guy out there and he is in a very desperate situation."

"Is it that Quarles guy from the bar?" Nate asked already on the scent as usual.

"Yeah, if you see him or anybody that looks out of place you let me know."

"Should I carry my gun?" he asked hopeful.

"No, just be extra vigilant. I don't think he'll come up to Lexington but one can never count on what a deranged, drugged out killer might do. So stay close to home and be smart." Nate hopped off the table he had been sitting on and nodded. "I'm serious Nate." Raylan emphasized.

"Yes sir, I got it. If I see a deranged, drugged out killer I'll run like hell."

"Nathaniel…" Raylan warned.

"I got it Dad," Nate replied. "I swear."

Raylan could only hope that he did. It hadn't been lost on him as to how Quarles had looked at his son that night in the bar.

A big part of Raylan wanted to go back down to Harlan and help sort out the scene where Tom was shot, but he couldn't take Nate with him and he certainly wasn't comfortable leaving him alone. Besides he was beyond exhausted and desperately needed some sleep.

Unfortunately the much needed slumber evaded Raylan as he tried to put pieces of a most bizarre puzzle together. Nothing was quite matching up, and worse, the picture he was trying to form was a blur. So after tossing, turning and thinking himself right out of bed he got up and watched Nate sleep for a while. The rhythmic breathing coming from his son was satisfying and calming. The modest life -bringing action of exchanging air seemed as miraculous as it was simple. So why was life so damn complicated.

Despite his third cup of coffee that morning the fatigue was still etched on Raylan's face. He had woken up at two that morning sitting in a chair his head lying on Nate's bed. He had gotten up and shuffled back to his bed only to toss and turn deeper into the night. Now he was pouring all of his efforts into the large mug in his hand in hopes that it would get him through the day.

"I have to get going down to Harlan. The bus comes in less than a half hour. Stay inside until it pulls up and then after school see if you can hang out at Tommy's until I get home."

Nate set down his juice glass and looked at his father. "Okay, it shouldn't be a problem. When do you think you'll be home?"

"I have no idea, most likely it will be late."

"Okay," Nate said quietly. "Just be careful."

"You too, remember what I told you last night. This is serious Nate."

"I know, but if he shot a cop, chances are he isn't in Kentucky anymore."

"Well I'm hoping not, but we can't be too careful," Raylan reminded him."

It was a few minutes before the bus was due and Nate had been staring at his backpack mulling over its contents when there was a knock at the back door. He sighed and went to the door. He looked out through the top window of the door to see Tommy staring at the ground. He opened expecting him to complain about Nate not being outside at the bus stop already when Quarles stood up behind Tommy.

"Okay boys inside," he ordered, gun at Tommy's back.

Nate backed up and saw the terror on his friends face. "Quarles, you are here for me, so leave him out of it," Nate said looking Quarles in the eye.

"Fine, I like a man who gets straight to the point." Quarles answered pistol whipping Tommy, who crashed to the floor. Nate had reached out and helped break his friends fall to the kitchen floor.

Quarles pulled down the shade on the back door and stepped over Tommy. "Ready?" he asked grinning.

"I need my back pack," Nate said, his eyes flicking to Tommy on the floor.

"Why?"

"My meds are in there."

"Any pain killers?"

"Some," Nate answered.

"Well then, go get it." He ordered cheerfully.

Nate retrieved his bag as he heard the bus roar off down the street. Once it cleared the corner Nate, with a gun pushed into his kidney made his way out front to a waiting car.

"What is it you want?" Nate calmly asked as they headed south.

"Why it's you?" he said grinning. "I think we both have a lot in common."

"You don't look so good. What happened to you?"

"Just a little burn, nothing that some Oxy can't help me with. What kind of pain killers do you have?"

"Some blue pills, I haven't tried them yet, plus some Tramadol."

"What are your meds for?"

"I have an autoimmune disorder, or at least that's what they tell me. I don't think they really know. But I'm on several medications to help ease the symptoms," Nate explained as he pulled out some of his bottles to prove he was telling the truth.

"Well, other than being a little skinny and weary, you look great to me."

"You said we have a lot in common. What did you mean by that?"

"We both have some serious daddy issues, you and me. You see my dad had some drug issues and your dad has some anger issues that often involve killing people, and that my friend, can have some negative effects on ones psyche."

"What kind of drugs did your dad do?" Nate asked, thinking of his father's drinking.

By the time Quarles had finished explaining his tortuous upbringing they were nearly to Harlan. Nate had noticed they had been going south and found it very odd that he would head back to the scene of the crime that he was trying to flee.

"Wow, I'm sorry that happened to you. I was involved in an FBI sting for a pedophile and my dad pretended to be selling me. I can't imagine what it would have been like if it was real."

"Your daddy might not be selling you for sex, but he hasn't given you a very good life. He is constantly involved with people that want to kill him."

"Like you?"

"Nah, I don't really want to kill him. I just want you."

"Why?" Nate asked having a hard time swallowing.

"Because my life is a disaster right now and I just want to surround myself with beauty and innocence."

Nate found it hard to believe that he could be considered beautiful or innocent, and was beginning to realize just how crazy and irrational Quarles was.

As they rounded a curve there was a man on the side of the road who waved them down by standing in the middle of the road. Quarles picked up the gun that had been lying in his lap and pointed it at Nate.

"If you say anything to tip him off, I will kill him and there will be one less hillbilly redneck in the world, which would be fine with me, but his death would be on you. Am I clear?" Nate nodded that he understood.

The car slowed as Quarles rolled down his window. "Hey there." He said brightly, as if he and his passenger were on the way to a picnic.

"Hey neighbor, I have a flat and my spare is dry rotted. Can you give me a lift down the road?"

"I'd love to, but my boy is sick and the doctor said it's really contagious. But I'll make a call for you so somebody can swing by and get you. How about that?" Quarles said with all the charm in the world.

The man looked over at Nate who looked as if he had been run over by truck and nodded. "I would sure appreciate it."

Quarles nodded and pulled out his phone as he smiled and began their journey once again. As soon as they were down the road a few yards he put his phone back in his lap next to the gun. "Well damn boy, I couldn't have asked for anything better, great job."

"You know you'll never get away with this."

"Oh?"

"My dad will find you, you can't hide, the marshals are federal, he won't ever stop looking."

"Maybe, but I bet I can run for a long time."

"You'll never leave Harlan alive," Nate promised.

"Spoken like a native son. Well then, that will be my challenge," Quarles answered almost giddy with the opportunity.

Finally Quarles took an obscure road that led to a small home surrounded by trees.

**TBC**


	30. Bad to Worse Part II

Part II of III

"Finding any answers?" Art asked as Raylan stepped back from talking to Boyd, already tired of interviewing people who knew exactly what was going on, but had no interest in sharing the truth with anybody outside of Harlan or wearing a five pointed star.

"Nothing worthwhile, other than he didn't see anything." Raylan responded with a sigh as his phone rang. He hit the answer button and his world went into a tail spin. "What, when? Have there been any sightings? Was he hurt? Right, I'll be there."

Art had been listening to the conversation, watching Raylan tense up as his anger and fear became apparent. "What's going on?"

"Some guy forced the neighbor boy to get Nate to let him in the house. He was then knocked out and when he came to, Nate was gone. Lexington PD is going to head this direction with the kid and his mom. I'm going to head north until we meet," Raylan said heading towards the door.

"Take Tim with you," Art yelled. But Raylan acted as if he hadn't heard. Tim who had no idea what was going on, heard his name and saw the rapidly departing marshal and ran after him. He jumped in the car as Raylan gave him a cursory glance and peeled out from the parking lot.

"Guess I'm coming with you," Tim said.

"Suit yourself," Raylan answered as he floored the accelerator.

With the speed of both cars barreling towards each other, it wasn't long before they met the police car, siren wailing and lights flashing. They both swerved into a parking lot. The officer opened the backdoor freeing Tommy and his mother. Tommy ran over to Raylan and hugged him apologizing. "I'm so sorry, he said he was going to kill me then shoot Nate. I didn't know what to do," he sobbed.

Raylan separated himself from Tommy and knelt down in front of the boy. "Listen to me Tommy, this is not your fault, you did what you needed to do. Do you understand that?" Tommy tearfully nodded. "Right now you can be a big help. What did the man look like?"

Tommy tried to swallow a sob as he looked up at Raylan. "I didn't see his face. He came up behind me and told me to knock on the back door. Something was poking me in the back, I don't even know if it really was a gun."

"Listen to me, you did the right thing. What did he say to you?"

"Just told me to knock on the door or…or he would kill me."

Now it was Tommy's mothers turn to sob. She covered her face with her hands.

Raylan stood up and put his hand on her shoulder. "I'm so sorry."

"Your son is missing, mine was threatened and knocked out and this is all your fault," she cried.

Raylan felt as if he had been kicked in the gut. "Your right, you are absolutely right. This is all on me and all I can do about it right now is try and get my son back and I need Tommy to help me."

"But he didn't see anything," she cried.

Raylan ignored her and looked back at Tommy. "Tom I need you to take a deep breath. I need you to remember if Nate said anything when you walked into the house. Think really hard," he encouraged.

Tommy took the deep breath that Raylan had advised and closed his eyes deep in thought. He could see Nate's face as he opened the door and then the look of surprise as he realized what was going on. "He said something, I just can't remember."

"You can do it, Tom. Just let your mind go back."

"He said he can't," Mrs. Morton said.

Tim stepped in front of her and began to talk with her as he steered her away so she wouldn't interfere again.

"You had a great idea by closing your eyes, try again," Raylan said. Tommy did as he was told and let him mind drift. "Did Nate say anything?" Raylan asked again.

"He did say something," Tommy said trying to focus. Suddenly Tommy perked up, "he said, 'Quarles you are here for me, so leave him out of it.'"

"Quarles, he said Quarles?" Raylan asked.

"Yeah, I'm sure of it. It was such a weird thing to say, I didn't know if it was his name or what, but that's what he said."

Raylan took out his phone and made a quick phone call. Tim released Mrs. Morton who ran to her son and embraced him. Raylan hung up and looked at Tommy. "Thank you for your help. I'm going to find Nate I promise you."

"Then please tell me you'll be moving," Mrs. Morton said as she spun her son around and stalked back to the police cruiser.

Raylan sighed and motioned for Tim to get in the car. "Where to now?" Tim asked.

"Back to Johnny's bar. Boyd has got to know more than he's telling me."

"Nice place," Nate said of the cottage in front of him. "Your vacation home?" he asked as he tugged his backpack out of the car.

"I picked it just for you," Quarles said jangling the keys in his hand his arm around a bag of groceries.

"How long have you planned this?"

"Well, I figured I would need an abode out of the way in case things didn't go as planned."

"Whose house is this?"

"I just told you it's mine, let's go," he said waving the gun around to remind Nate of who was in charge.

They walked into the small living room which had a couch two recliners and a large screen TV and a tall bookcase in the corner full of cheap paperbacks. A kitchen was off to the right, a short hallway led to two bedrooms and a bathroom.

"Mmmm cozy. Set your bag down."

"What's the plan?" Nate asked as he set his backpack down.

"Well we get to know each other and then, well then I was thinking we could have a little fun."

"Why do I have a feeling our definition of fun is nowhere near alike."

"Now, you have to give it a chance. You know all those times I was with those vile, disgusting men, I hated it, but then I realized if I just let myself relax and enjoy the raw nature of it all…" he said his face locked in an odd expression. "Well sometime we just have to give in to our animal instincts. Now I have some snacks, here, I got chocolate chip cookies."

"I can't eat it."

"How can anybody not be able to eat a chocolate chip cookie?"

"Somebody who can't eat chocolate."

"Your autoimmune issue?"

"Yeah, it sucks."

"You are a lot like me." Quarles stated.

"Excuse me?" Nate asked unsure of the comparison.

"You look at life differently. I guess those of us that are damaged just do."

"Yeah I do see the world differently, constantly looking through a veil of pain makes one mature quickly…I have no delusions that everything will be alright, that things will work out or that life is fair. Life is harsh and cruel and can kick your ass any time it damn well pleases…and that can skew ones vision. I look around and study people to take my mind off my own issues…to focus on somebody else takes it off of me. Distraction is everything. You know how when people ask you how you are and you always answer fine?"

"But you're not, right?"

"Right, you say that you are, because for one moment, maybe you can trick yourself to thinking you are."

"Well I have found that the second you stop caring, is the second you start living."

"And this is living for you?"

"Damn right it is."

"When you look at your soul, what do you see staring back at you?"

Quarles remained quiet, contemplative, but in the end he just looked back at Nate and grinned.

"You know what you have to do Raylan," Boyd said looking over at Tim. "There are people who can help you."

"The federal marshals are a good start," Tim answered looking back at Boyd.

"The BOLO went out right after you called Raylan, we have a lead," Art said quietly.

"What?" Raylan asked unsure if he wanted to know what was coming.

"A man said he stopped a car earlier today asking for help with his spare tire. The car held a man and a boy Nate's age. The driver claimed his son was contagious so he was unable to give the stranded man a ride. He said the boy looked like he didn't feel good, but other than that all he could remember was he had dark blond or brown hair. He said the driver promised to call for some help but when it never arrived he hiked to the next gas station, where the BOLO had just hit the scanner. He said the driver had ice cold blue eyes."

"He came back to Harlan, why would he come back here?" Tim wondered out loud.

"To throw it in your face Raylan, he took your boy and is in your stomping grounds. He has declared himself the winner of this little contest. You know what kind of help you need," Boyd said directly to Raylan.

"I don't think so."

"Raylan, this is your son. You need somebody who has intimate knowledge of these hills and hollers as well as the people they hold." Boyd got off the barstool and went behind the bar and came back with a small card. "Call him; give him the chance to help Nate. Your boy needs this."

Raylan took the card, his face reflecting his frustration as headed back to the front door. "Raylan, where are you going?" Art yelled out.

"I can't just stand around, I'll be on the road, call me if you hear of anything!" The door slammed behind him as he strode back out to his car. Tim once again ran to catch up and had to step in front of the car to get Raylan to stop and let him in.

Raylan had already dialed the phone and was talking. "Yes it has been a long time. You know I wouldn't ask if I felt there was any other way. Please understand, this is not for me it is for Nate." There was silence then Raylan blew out a mouthful of air and nodded. "Yeah I know where it is, I drive a black Lincoln."

"Do I want to know?" Tim asked.

"No you definitely do not." Raylan assured.

The marshal's service was flying around interviewing people and checking back roads for any signs of Quarles and Nate, while Raylan pulled up to a vacant mill where an older man stood looking as if he would rather kill you than spend a few minutes talking to you. His face wore a harsh expression, an old ball cap sat on top of his head, faded jeans and button down shirt and a pair of cowboy boots completed the ensemble. And Tim suspected he was packing.

"Raylan Givens, it has been a damn long time," the man said as they got out of the car. "Still a marshal I take it?"

"Yes I am."

"Who's this?" he asked of Tim.

"A friend, who is helping me. Look Seth, you know this land and these people better than anybody, and I desperately need your help."

"You need someone who can sidestep the law?"

"I need somebody who will get straight answers from people who might otherwise be less than likely to share it with me."

"Then I'm your man. Do you have a picture of him I could see?" Raylan pulled out the last school picture and showed it to him. "He's a good looking boy." He said taking a good long look at the photo. "Follow me; the Bingo Hall is great source of gossip." He said wasting no time.

Seth jumped into his car and sped down the road at harrowing speeds, followed closely by Raylan and Tim who for the first time in many years was getting motion sickness from the break neck speeds. "We're seriously going to a Bingo Hall?" Tim asked.

"We are going to wherever he thinks he can get answers," Raylan said not taking his eyes off the road.

As they rocketed up and down hills and around curves, Tim realized these roads had no names or signage. An unfamiliar driver didn't have a chance. If Raylan happened to slip into unconsciousness Tim would have been forced to call for a helicopter and stand on the roof waving his arms while firing off flares in an effort to help them be located.

"Have you ever thought about committing suicide?" Quarles asked out of the blue.

"What, in the last couple of hours?" Nate asked.

"No, I mean ever. I used to think about it all the time when I was younger."

Nate was silent and brooding. "When I was first diagnosed I felt like I was knee deep in water, then as the symptoms continued and worsened I felt as if I was waist deep and it made me wonder when I would I take action and allow myself to simply drown."

"Where are you now?"

Nate, lost in thought, inhaled as he looked back at Quarles. "Neck deep."

"That's pretty deep." He said unsure if the depth related to the illness or the boys current predicament.

"Yes it is, but you thought of suicide many times and yet you are still here."

"I am, found a stress relieving habit."

"I see," Nate said looking around. "I take it I have been recruited as part of that effort? You only get one life to live, what are you doing with yours?"

"Trying to get home," Quarles answered clearly upset with Nate's question. He dialed his phone and yelled that he wanted to speak with a man named Theo and then was quiet again. "Theo, I want to come home, what will it take for me to come home? What? Pain and suffering? I can try. Bye." Quarles threw the phone down on the couch. "Do you think you're worth a half a million dollars?"

"The devil's far from home, huh?" Nate asked, shaking his head. "Hardly, as you pointed out earlier, I am a native son and if you haven't noticed a lot of these redneck hillbilly's don't have a ton of money laying around."

"I bet the marshals could secure a loan for one of their own."

"I hate to burst your bubble but I think if you go home they'll eventually catch up to you."

Quarles seemed to chew on that for a moment. He got up and used the key to lock the deadbolt and then put it in his pocket. "The windows are nailed shut and the back door uses the same type of deadbolt."

"Okay," Nate said watching Quarles.

"It's a big country, we have lots of places we can go," Quarles said, his gaze fixed on Nate. "I'll love you if you'll let me, and you could learn to love me."

Nate looked as if a herd of pygmy hippos had just run through the room. "Somehow, I don't think so. Listen, kidnapping and – '' Nate paused and licked his lips as they struggled to form the word he needed. "Kidnapping and rape," he began again, "are both hefty crimes, not punishable by death, but I think you might be the exception. You won't get far." Nate said thinking of some home grown retribution. "You're just repeating your pain, but it's still pain."

Quarles continued to look at Nate, his eyes blue beacons of an emotion that had no category. Finally an odd smile came across his lips and he looked as if he wanted to devour Nate. "You are just too beautiful not to have…so have you I will. I will swallow you up just like a bottle of pills."

"You don't want to do this, just let me go and all will be forgotten."

"How old are you?"

Nate's breathing was beginning to accelerate. "Eleven."

"Hmmm, a bit younger than I like, but I'm sure you will more than meet my needs. Take your shirt off."

"Why?"

"Because I told you to!" Quarles screamed, picking up the gun again.

Nate pulled his t-shirt up over his head as Quarles watched him closely. "You are too skinny."

"Sometimes I don't have much of an appetite. Plus the inflammation cause some distension and that's uncomfortable," Nate said.

Quarles looked at the boy and could see a slight swelling in his abdominal area and a scar that ran down to his waist band. "You are a sick boy. What's the scar from?"

"I've tried to tell you. I had part of my intestine removed due to chronic inflammation and bleeding."

"Hmm," he nodded, "But still so handsome," Quarles said moving closer.

** TBC


	31. Bad to Worse Part III

Part III of III

The trio had trudged from the Bingo Hall to the barbershop with no answers, but one thing Tim noticed was that when this man named Seth walked into a room, the air pressure noticeably dropped. It was as if people couldn't talk fast enough and were desperate to tell him what he wanted to know. Raylan still hadn't said who the mystery man was and Tim thought it best not to ask. Tim's phone rang and his face went from serious to sad. "Tom died," he said quietly. Raylan slammed his hand against the steering wheel but remained silent.

They pulled up to a small building with the large letters VFW over the doorway. Tim vaguely recalled the stone building he had been called to awhile back so Raylan and Art could gain entrance in order to speak with Arlo. This time there was nobody out front and the three marched up to the stairs and Seth flung the door open. There were four old men playing cards at a table not far from the bar.

"Seth," one of them greeted. "What brings you out here?"

"I am desperate for some information," he declared, causing a ripple of tension to make its way across the room.

"Whatever we can do," another man offered.

"Tell me if you have seen this boy?" Seth asked taking Nate's picture. "Or this man?" Raylan asked showing them the picture of Quarles he had on his phone.

"No," they all said shaking their heads.

"Has there been anything different, anybody not where they were supposed to be or acting odd?" Tim asked.

The man that had spoken first rubbed his chin and looked thoughtful. "Well you know Edna and Ellis Everett were supposed to help with the fish fry the other night and neither one showed up."

The man across the table nodded. "Yeah they never miss, they didn't even bother to call."

"They live up at Bluebird Holler right?" Seth asked.

"Yeah down that long lane with all them fir trees," the chin rubber said. "They might have had some work done on their septic, Roy said when he went by the other day they weren't around but it looked like they had been digging in the backyard."

Raylan, Tim and Seth all looked at each other and quickly moved toward the front door. "Do you know where we're going?" Seth called out.

"Further west, but not sure of the details," Raylan yelled back.

"Well then stay close," Seth said climbing in his car and slamming the door.

_**Quarles had swallowed a pain pill**_ and sat down on the couch next to Nate. He leaned over and stroked the boys cheek. "I'm cold, can I put my shirt back on," Nate asked.

"You look fine to me. I want you to leave it off. Look I'll take mine off too." He set his gun down and pulled off his shirt and tossed it aside.

"What time is it?" Nate asked.

Quarles shoulders fell as he sighed. He looked up and pointed up to a clock shaped like a tea kettle and said, "it's noon."

"I need to take my pill," Nate stated.

"And what happens if you don't?"

"I'll get nauseous," Nate lied.

"Fine, where is it?"

"In my bag."

"Get it," Quarles snapped.

Nate got up and walked over to the recliner where he had put his bag earlier. He unzipped it and began to dig around, he took out one bottle and shook his head no and dove back in. "It must have fallen to the bottom."

"Well dump your bag out then," Quarles said impatiently. "In fact I don't like you being in there."

"What am I going to do, hit you with my math book?"

"Aren't you a funny one," he commented.

"What's your first name?" Nate asked trying to change the mood.

"Robert," he answered.

"I had a friend named Robert when I lived in Florida."

"Well good for you." Quarles said getting impatient. "Look kid hurry up or I'll have to motivate you."

_**Seth had slowed down obviously looking for an obscure road**_. Raylan crawled along right on his tail.

"I guess you can't put Edna and Ellis Everett in your GPS and find the place," Tim commented, his eyes searching the tree line for an opening.

"No, this is what you call the local advantage," Raylan said.

"Can I ask who this guy is?"

"No, it's better that you don't," Raylan answered as Seth found the road and turned right.

They bumped along the dirt lane that seemed to alternate from potholes to large lumps in the road. It took nearly a minute to finally roll up on the house. Seth was already out of his car when the Lincoln stopped. Raylan and Tim got out and walked to meet him when they heard a gunshot and a high pitched scream.

_****(five minutes earlier)**_

Nate continued to dig in his bag. "Why don't you just let me go?"

"Why would I do that, it's not like your father would give me a break because I did."

"No, but maybe I would," Nate said pulling his hand out of his bag.

Quarles looked up to see Nate standing there with a gun pointing at him. He looked around but realized his gun was across the room, forgotten on the bookshelf where he had placed it when he took his shirt off. He smiled as he looked back at the boy. "Hey that's not a math book."

"And I'm not going to hit you with it either," Nate replied.

"Now do you really think you could use that? So many think they are capable but find they aren't." Quarles stood up and took a step towards Nate.

"Don't come any closer," Nate warned.

Quarles relaxed his body and took another step forward certain that Nate wouldn't hurt him. Nate shot him in the kneecap.

"Have you heard the story about why Dickie Bennett limps?" Nate asked after Quarles got done screaming. "You see, they were playing baseball, Dickie pitching, my dad batting. He had already gotten two hits off of Dickie so the next time my dad was up; Dickie threw it right at his head. My dad went down and the benches cleared. The melee was all around him while he was still down on the ground, but just as Dickie was going to stomp on him, he saw his opportunity and nailed Dickie in the knee."

"So you guys have a thing for knees?" Quarles asked through his pain.

"No," Nate answered tersely, "we have a thing for assholes."

"You seem very calm for somebody who just shot a man," he yelled.

"I'm not prone to hysterics," Nate answered dryly.

"Yeah I can see that. You are a forty year old in a tiny body…you, you are your father."

"So I've been told."

"So now what?" Quarles asked.

"I guess you pray to the God you have always denied."

"What makes you think I deny God?'

"Because a man such as yourself, with your narcissistic qualities, ill intensions and appalling past you simply cannot be capable of worshipping anything greater than yourself."

"You are a very astute young man, never ceasing to impress me. Are you sure you aren't forty?

"Why did you shoot the cop?" Nate asked changing the subject.

"The cop with the hat? The one who looks so very much like your very own father?"

"Yeah, that one," Nate said realizing how the two did look a lot alike, tall, thin and an iconic hat.

"I didn't shoot him," Quarles said grimacing in pain.

"Then who did?" Nate asked his face showing surprise.

"Arlo did," Quarles said, his eyes twinkling, "yes your very own grandfather. My family was screwed up but yours oh wow, yours would give mine a run for the money."

Nate's mind began to spin, tall, lanky man with a hat shot by his grandfather, a man who could easily be mistaken for Raylan.

_**The three men heard the shot **_and sprinted towards the front door. Raylan slammed his body into the door but it wouldn't yield. He planted his foot under the doorknob but still nothing. Tim went over to the front window but a large plant obscured his vision. He looked around for something to throw through the glass knowing it would be a dangerous move but all he could think of was a scared, wounded and bleeding Nate in desperate need of assistance. Finally a booming voice ordered Raylan out of the way. Once the marshal was clear a short burst of automatic fire froze both Raylan and Tim. Seth then kicked in the bullet riddled front door. The three men burst inside and didn't see at all what they expected.

A shirtless Nate was standing several feet away from Quarles who was also bare chested, but it was the youngster who was in possession of the gun and it was the man who was bleeding profusely from a leg wound. Three sets of eyebrows shot up and the pride began to ooze out from Raylan. Seth smiled and Tim just stood transfixed.

"Back up," Raylan ordered Quarles.

"In case you haven't noticed, I'M A BIT INJURED HERE!" The wounded man yelled.

"I don't give a shit," Raylan responded slowly, waving his gun. "Move your ass back!"

Quarles hopped and skipped backwards but missed the couch and ended up sliding down the floor, his back leaning against the couch. "There, you happy?"

"I am far from happy," Raylan stated.

Seth was nodding and smiling. "Nice job kid."

"Whose gun peppered the door, that thing was awesome," Nate said, his gun still trained on Quarles. "I'm just glad I wasn't on the other side of it."

Tim made his way over to Nate and gently took the gun from him. "We've got it," he said winking. He then tilted his head to Raylan, directing him to come over to his son.

Raylan had been so adrenaline fueled he hadn't stopped to get near his son. He quickly remedied that as his long legs took him to Nate. He knelt down as he had with Tommy earlier and asked him if he was okay. Nate nodded and then asked about the trooper's status. "I'm afraid he didn't make it."

The air rushed out of Nate's lungs while Quarles, despite his agony chuckled. "What's so damn funny?" Seth asked.

"That makes you a murderer, again," Raylan said standing up.

"Oh, au contraire my Stetson clad friend." It was Raylan this time who tilted his head. "I was not the shooter."

"Then who, who killed Tom?" Raylan asked.

"Why it was your illustrious father, Marshal. I guess shooting people runs in the family," he said throwing a look towards Nate.

"Thank God it does," Tim interjected.

Quarles was looking very pale and his breathing was getting shallow and rapid. "Well dammit!" he yelled suddenly. "I was this close," he said holding his thumb and forefinger close together.

"This close to what?" Seth asked stepping closer to Quarles, his Glock in his right hand as he had set his automatic weapon down after splintering the door.

"To having the best piece of ass ever," Quarles said smiling at Nate.

Seth took a step forward closing the gap between him and Quarles and placed the barrel of his gun to the man's head and squeezed the trigger. Bits of Quarles landed on the couch and wall behind him. Once again it was time for Tim and Raylan to stand shocked at what they saw. Nate just stood blinking, his brown eyes huge.

"Well, I had better go. Chances are Edna and Ellis are the cause of the overturned dirt in the backyard that was mentioned earlier." Seth said heading towards the door.

"Wait!" Nate called out. "Who are you?" Nate's eyes studied this man in front of him; they seemed to show a hint of recognition as if recalling a past experience.

Seth stopped and looked back at Raylan. He strode across the room in a few short steps. He stopped in front of Nate, licked his lips and turned to look at Raylan again. The marshal nodded causing Nate to look at him questioningly. He stuck his hand out towards Nate. "I'm Seth Campbell, your grandfather."

"Well damn," Nate said as if all his breath had been pulled from his body.

Seth reached over and grabbed Nate's t-shirt from the chair where it had been tossed and handed it to his grandson. "You okay?" he asked. "Nothing happened?" As if being kidnapped and being forced to shoot his captor wasn't worth mentioning.

"Yes sir, I'm fine. I shot him before he did anything."

"I see your daddy taught you well," he said indicating his kneecap shot. "Unless you weren't aiming for his knee."

"I was," Nate assured as he tugged his shirt over his head.

"Then, fine job."

"How do we explain this?" Tim asked looking over at what was left of Quarles.

Seth cleared his throat. "Nate you tell them everything that happened including shooting the pervert in the knee. Then three men in ski masks blasted their way in looking for a man named Eldon Everett. They see your predicament and let you go; you run out to the road and call your dad. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir," Nate replied.

"Do you two understand?" he asked both Tim and Raylan. They both numbly nodded.


	32. The Buried Truth

_We are beginning to round the final curve…Nate only has a little bit more hell to raise._

**The Buried Truth**

"So that's what you told the Marshal's service?" Winona asked.

"Yep, just like he said. It seemed to be the easiest explanation." Raylan said sighing.

"And who is Eldon Everett?"

"He was a gentleman who was piggy-backed into a gravesite in the Lexington cemetery the night that Nate went wandering. He was a meth head, always into problems. Best guess is he stepped on some toes."

"And Seth is a scary guy in the middle of it all who happens to be your son's grandfather?"

"Yeah, a big reason that Nadine ran. They are a family involved in a lot of bad things. They shoot first and never ask questions and they bury bodies on top of bodies." Raylan said, the light bulb going off in his head. "Holy shit-Nathaniel get in here," he bellowed.

Nate had been watching TV in the other room but upon hearing his full name he quickly scooted to where his father was. "Yes sir?" he asked tentatively fearing he was in trouble for something he could no longer recall.

"Had you seen Seth before that day with Quarles?"

Nate hesitated and that told Raylan everything he needed to know. "When?" he asked brusquely.

"It was just for a second."

"When?" Raylan repeated.

"That night, down the street from the cemetery."

"Was he one of the men burying the body?"

Nate shrugged. "I can't say for sure, I saw him when they passed by in a car."

"Like hell you can't say, you told the police they didn't sound local, but you knew they did."

"I didn't even know who they were," Nate said.

"Look at me and do not lie!" Raylan warned.

Nate looked up at his father, his eyes struggling to maintain contact. "I heard them say something about this was what you got when you messed with a Campbell. But I honestly didn't know for sure we were related."

Raylan stood up and walked around in a circle. "Calm down Raylan," Winona said getting up. "It's over now."

"How can you be mad, if he had been in jail he wouldn't have been able to help you find me?" Nate reasoned.

"Well you said Eldon wasn't a very good guy," Winona added.

"He was a meth making scum whose arrogance most likely got him killed. He spent a lot of time in a western holler named Glasgow. I should have known right then the Campbell's were involved."

"Is that where they live?" Nate asked quietly.

Raylan scowled at his son. "I imagine he double-crossed them or just mouthed off and they killed him. I thought maybe a rival drug clan might have done it, but apparently not."

"So the Campbell's are drug dealers?" Nate asked.

"What? No, they deal in other atrocities. And don't you dare ask me," Raylan snapped.

"And his parents were buried in the backyard?" Winona asked recalling Raylan had yet to explain that.

"Yeah, they were good people. It looks like Quarles found the house, killed the Everett's and planted them in the backyard. Apparently they didn't want to sub-let. It just happened to come together into a plan that Seth could use. Sometimes it can be a small world."

She turned to Nate and softened her face as best she could. "Why did you have your gun with you that day?"

"I had a gut feeling."

"A gut feeling," she repeated.

"I knew Quarles was desperate. The first time I saw him he looked like he wanted to eat me, like I was dessert. That creepy feeling settled in my gut and when I found out he was on the run, I just couldn't shake it. I knew if I was found with a gun at school I would be expelled, but it just seemed like the right thing to do."

"And it was," Raylan whispered. "Thank God you went with your gut."

"While I waited for the bus, I debated about it. I stared at my bag forever, like it was going to tell me what to do. And then suddenly he was in the kitchen."

Winona turned her head as tears welled up. This boy had been in danger but was savvy enough to know how to defend himself from it. He had left a clue with Tommy, calling Quarles by name and had convinced the man he needed his bag with him; all the while not giving him any inclination of what he was up against. She looked at his stoic, defeated face and realized he had given up on life, at least the life of an average eleven year old and she couldn't hold her tears back.

"What's with the tears?" Raylan asked.

"How can you ask that?"

"Nate give us a minute," Raylan said. Nate hesitated, Winona's tears tugging at him as he knew they were for him.

"You are going to lose him Raylan. He can't continue to be a part of this violence and horror and just remain a normal child. My God, he was kidnapped, shot his captor, the second time he has shot a man by the way, watched his grandfather blow the man's brains out and then had to feed a bunch of lies to law enforcement. And that was only one day last week. How many people has he seen get shot and killed?"

Raylan began to count it out on his fingers. "It was rhetorical Raylan. That is the problem you don't think anything of it. Your father killed a man who he thought was you. My husband wanted us all dead, something that Nate knew but you didn't bother to tell me. And now, come to find out his grandfather is involved in some kind of crime syndicate and thinks nothing of blowing a man's brains out. This whole situation is beyond dysfunctional and it's going to either drive Nate away or kill him."

Raylan just stared off at the wall as it was now his turn to try not to cry. There was truth to what she said; Nate seemed to be slipping away from him, from everything; his eyes changing into reflections of the violence that surrounded him. He no longer questioned it, he merely accepted it.

Nate had heard every word from his position around the corner. She was right that nothing in his life was typical or ordinary. But he wasn't sure if he was fit for conventional. It just wasn't in his blood, not on the Givens side or the Campbell side. His parents love doomed him from the start; one can only run so far before they end up back where they started.


	33. Start A War

**Start A War**

Mrs. Morton couldn't get what she wanted by having the Givens move but Tommy had been forbidden from being around Nate in any way, shape or form. It was as if she feared that another knock to the head was imminent just by them being in the same air space. She would step outside of her house and glare down the street as if a herd of guerilla warriors might be trailing Nate from the school bus in an attempt to take over the street and its occupants. She had done her best to head up the pitchfork platoon but found that nobody else in the neighborhood was the least bit interested. Despite the violence that had visited the Givens household, the rest of the neighbors loved having a US marshal around, and all the activity made for good water cooler stories at work. They had simply been an audience to a show that was better than cable.

It was obvious the boys missed one another. They would occasionally catch a glimpse of each other from their respective homes, staring at each other across the DMZ. Mrs. Morton had begun driving Tommy to school, lest Nate's past troubles sneak up and hold the bus hostage. The fact that Nate had been a victim as well seemed to be lost in the turmoil. All Lynn Morton knew was Nate Givens equaled trouble, trouble that she did not want or need for her family.

But perhaps the saddest thing was the fact that Winona had been right in that both Nate and Raylan had already moved on. Not that it didn't still touch them and even change them, but neither one saw the point of rehashing it and letting it define them, even though their reaction defined it all. The facts were that Nate had been kidnapped, that he had shot a man and witnessed his grandfather finish him off. And on top of that, they realized just how demented Arlo was by discovering that his homicidal thoughts had been acted on. The senior Givens disappointed that he had shot the wrong man; but perhaps all that solidified their relationship as they persevered in their little warped world having no idea what else to do. Short of having armed storm troopers follow Nate around, Raylan had to let him live his life. Not that it was easy, far from it. Whenever the boy wasn't in a controlled area or right in front of him, his heart beat a little faster, in fact there were times it downright wobbled in his chest. He loved his son very much and the thought of anything happening to him stopped Raylan in his tracks, but they did seem so far away; far away from all that was normal and decent. They no longer had any idea how of how to respond to the typical customs of the world. They were slipping away, each a victim of their surroundings and if they lost each other, then all would be lost.

It was as if Raylan saw too much of his past in the lost innocence of his son and it had paralyzed him. Nothing had been easy for him as a child and he wanted to do better by his son, but he wasn't sure he had. His life's work had always taken precedence over everything, nothing else being as near and dear. He and Nate had always had a decent relationship, but now that they were being tested on almost every level he wasn't so sure how much longer they could hold on.

He blamed himself; he knew he had failed miserably after Winona left. Feeling sorry for himself and ignoring the one person in his life who he could count on. And despite his recent efforts he feared they hadn't recovered from his total disregard for anything beyond the bourbon in his glass. Nate had felt snubbed and rightly so, even to the point where he had threatened to go off and live with his uncle Cade. But after Nate's little escapade with the slumber party, Raylan tried to snap back to his paternal responsibilities. And things had been much better, until this latest disruption in life.

Raylan hadn't been sleeping well at all since the kidnapping. Even though Quarles was no longer a threat, there were plenty more to choose from. In fact he very well might have invited the biggest one into the fray. But he felt he truly hadn't had a choice. Even with Nate having the upper hand when they arrived didn't mean the boy would have been capable of killing Quarles. But Raylan feared that contacting Seth might have ramifications neither one of them were ready for.

Raylan got up and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. He had the dream again, the same dream he had been suffering with on and off all week. Nate was standing near a scenic overlook, one that for whatever reason had no guardrail. His back was to the cliff and he was taking steps backward as he looked right at Raylan daring him to do something. But Raylan couldn't seem to move and his son took his final step, falling off the cliff. He would wake up with a jerk, heart pounding in his chest and sweat droplets across his forehead. With these dreams fresh in his mind he had been picking Nate up from school quite a bit and let him spend the afternoon making copies and being a gopher at the office.

The following afternoon, Nate looked up to see Raylan in the conference room in a meeting with another agent. Files were stacked up and papers were being moved back and forth. Nate typed in his grandfather's name into the system but found out it had been blocked. He went to the top and found the history label and clicked on that only to find it had been already deleted. Damn, his father was catching on much too quickly. He looked over at Tim's computer and then around the room for the marshal. Not seeing him he slid over into the waiting chair and tried his search one more time only to find the same results.

"Shame on you for even thinking I would aid and abet you in your illegal search," Tim stated looking down at Nate who hadn't heard him come up from behind.

"I have a right to know," Nate tried.

"No you don't. You're a kid, you have no rights."

"Tell me about it," Nate sighed. "You're going to tell him aren't you?" he asked looking over at his father who was shoving a folder towards the man opposite him at the table.

"Most likely," Tim smiled.

"Dammit," Nate whispered, hated having been caught. His father had hardly given him any space and though he appreciated the attention and genuine concern, it was quickly growing old. Lately there just hadn't been any middle ground, just one extreme to another.

It quickly became apparent that Tim did indeed fill Raylan in on Nate's sabotaged search as the man cleared his throat only moments after they got into the car. "So you tried to look your grandfather up?"

"Just like you knew I would," Nate replied watching a fellow commuter try to wedge his way into the traffic flow.

"Look, it's just better that you leave it all alone. Trust your mother's instinct at leaving, respect her efforts and just drop it. I know he helped us but let that be your memory."

"It's the only one I have."

"Exactly, so leave it alone. Understand me?" Nate just sat glowering, unhappy with the request. "Answer me son!" Raylan asked again slowly and sternly.

"Yeah," Nate said quietly.

"What?" Raylan asked looking at his son.

"Yes sir," Nate replied a bit more loudly.

The remainder of the drive was quiet and they were both grateful to see the house come into view. Tommy was in his driveway trying to get the chain back on his bike. He looked up as the Lincoln went by and gave a little wave. Nate waved back and wondered what would happen if he walked down there to help him.

"Don't even think about it," Raylan said as they got out of the car apparently once again reading his sons mind.

Nate looked at his dad a frown appearing on his face. "How do you do that?"

"Because you think too much like me." He said walking to the mailbox.

Nate looked down the street and nodded at his off-limit friend. He looked back towards the house and noticed his father had a small package in his hand. "Is it for me?" he asked grabbing it from his father. "Did Cade send me something?"

Nate looked down and noticed there was no return address and that the handwriting wasn't his uncles, but it was addressed to him. He followed Raylan inside and set down his backpack as he studied the soft brown package.

"Let me have it," Raylan said reaching out for it.

"No, it has my name on it, it's mine." Raylan's face hardened as he stuck his hand out .

Nate sighed and handed over the package. Raylan carefully examined it, noticing a local postmark. He carefully loosened the tape and opened it up to reveal a plastic bag wrapped around something soft.

"See it's fine," Nate said grabbing the bag once again. He opened it up where there was a short note that said, 'we are thinking about you,' along with a black t-shirt that was adorned with a gray rampant lion.

"Shit," Raylan hissed taking both items from his son.

"Hey, what are you doing, those are mine," he yelled.

"No they aren't, it was a mistake."

"No it's not, they're mine, Seth sent them didn't he?"

"What makes you think that?" Raylan asked.

"Because the timing for one thing, no return address and Campbell is a Scottish name and the rampant lion is a symbol of Scotland. And it would make sense that they would use it." Nate said his arms folded.

Raylan just stood there, once again amazed at his son's knowledge and deductive prowess. "Yeah, I'm sure he sent it and that is why you may not have it."

"But it's mine," Nate said again reaching for the shirt, but Raylan easily held it out his son's grasp.

"The relationship is over Nate and I don't want to hear another thing about it. They knew this wouldn't be welcomed and that is why they didn't put a return address on it."

"It's not for you to decide," Nate spat back.

"Oh but it is, I am the father and this isn't going to happen."

"I want to meet them all, I want to go to their house and you can't stop me," Nate said moving to the door as if he was ready to walk all the way to the unknown location in Harlan County.

"Get your ass back here," Raylan ordered.

"You can't stop me," Nate said opening the door.

Raylan closed his eyes and hated where this was heading. He stepped forward and yanked his son away from the door and slammed it shut. "You can't stop me," Nate repeated.

"Sure I can. What are you going to do, walk all the way there to an address that you don't know? Do not start a war with this ridiculous notion of going to your grandparent's house. Now I have made it abundantly clear that this is over and I expect you to abide by my request."

"Well don't get your expectations up!"

Raylan decided he had few choices as stepped forward and grabbed his sons arm. "You will do what you're told whether you agree with it or not." But Nate just stared right back into Raylan's eyes. And suddenly it was thirty years ago and he was staring spitefully into Arlo's eyes. He took a breath and spun Nate around as his hand connected to the boys backside with several stinging blows. He finished and ordered him to sit down.

There was no doubt the act had made an impact in more than one way. He flexed his stinging hand and then sat on the coffee table across from his surly son. "I can do that all day long if I need to. Listen to me boy; you are not to in any way to contact the Campbell's. Like I said before you need to honor your mother's memory by just staying away."

"How can you tell me that? I mean it's your fault we ended up here in hillbilly haven anyway."

"Excuse me?" Raylan asked his eyebrows shooting upwards.

"If you hadn't shot that guy in Miami you wouldn't have been transferred here to the land of the lost. I wish we had never left Florida and I wish that you had said yes when they offered you your job back. But no, we're stuck here, and now that I have seen how colorful your side of the family is, I can't help but be curious about the other side." Nate said flushed with the efforts of his diatribe.

Raylan pointed his finger at Nate shaking it, "you remember all that went on with the Crowder's?"

"Yeah yeah, Ava shot her husband cause he was abusive, Bo nearly killed Boyd cause he was interfering with his meth enterprise, then Boyd wanted to kill Bo out of self-righteous indignation but was beaten to it by those cartel thugs."

"Yes, great family there, but guess what the Campbell's make the Crowder's look like the Cleavers."

"Who?" Nate asked, not familiar with the television family Raylan was referring to.

"Never mind, the bottom line is that you will stay from them and the subject is closed."

"You can't keep me from my family," Nate threatened again.

"I am your family and believe me you do not want to get into a pissing contest over this, you will not win, I can promise you that. Now, I don't want to hear any more about it!"

"Why, what is it that they do that is so horrible? You said they didn't deal drugs, so what is their game, is it moonshine?"

"No."

"Prostitution, human trafficking, spare body parts, what!?" Nate screamed, standing up. "Are they the Dixie Mafia?"

Raylan responded by standing up and forcing his son back down to the couch. "Guns, Nate, they traffic guns, guns that have killed plenty of innocent people. That group you walked up on in the woods that day, most likely just picked up their cache from the Campbell's. They supply groups and gangs from all over; they don't care what happens after they make a sale or who is killed. I'm sure they are deeply involved with the mafia, but whether they buy from them or sell to them I don't know." Nate stayed quiet, processing what he had just been told. "And don't you think for a second that they don't protect themselves and their business fiercely. In fact they're also known for extorting the local pot growers and meth cookers; you don't pay, your crop goes up in flames or your trailer blows up and it doesn't appear to matter if anybody is in it or not.

"I can understand your curiosity about where your mother was raised, but you have to understand that she left it all behind for a reason and she would be deeply saddened and disappointed if you were to walk right back into the place she had never wanted to see again."

Nate still digesting the fact that his extended family was the hillbilly version of the Sons of Anarchy, stood up as he began to notice some discomfort beginning to settle in his lower region. He looked over at his dad who looked beyond exhausted and aggravated. He was rubbing his hand on his pant leg and taking deep breaths.

"Maybe it did hurt you as much as it did me," Nate commented looking at Raylan's hand.

"I highly doubt it, besides I can use tools. Look, that was the last thing I wanted to do, but you have to understand nothing good can come from a relationship with the Campbell's."

"Yeah I'm getting the picture," Nate admitted.

"So we're on the same page then?" Raylan asked his eyes widening.

"Yeah, we're good."

_**In the following weeks**_ the house remained quiet and peaceful though Raylan still kept his son close. He didn't completely believe that Nate had given up his Campbell quest, but so far it hadn't been mentioned again.

Raylan was making hamburgers in the kitchen while Nate was working on his homework at the table. "Good day at school?" Raylan called out.

"Yeah I guess so."

"Do you ever see Tommy?"

"Sometimes, but we don't have any classes together so it's just in the hallways."

"I'm sorry that you've been banished from his life."

"Yeah me too," Nate sighed as there was a knock at the back door. He got up and got to the back door just as Raylan opened it.

"Well Tommy, it's great to see you. Has the exile ended?" Raylan asked.

"What?" Tommy asked looking confused.

"Never mind," Raylan said stepping back to the stove.

"Did your mom say you could come down here?" Nate asked leading Tommy to the living room.

"No, she went to the store and my dad's taking a nap. If they found out I was down here I would be in big trouble, real big trouble," he added his face serious and solemn. "But I just wanted to tell you that I miss being your friend and that I don't hate you. My mom just freaked out, but I mean all that happened to me was getting hit on the head, but you, you got kidnapped."

"Well I can understand why your mom isn't very happy. She is just trying to protect you. My life has been a bit constrained lately as well." Nate answered.

"My grades haven't been very good either and I keep asking her if you can help me."

"What did she say?"

"She said if I asked again she would have Dad beat my butt. I haven't asked since. I better go before he wakes up or else that might happen tonight," Tommy said moving back towards the door.

"Maybe she'll get past it one day, but if not, I'm sorry," Nate said.

"It's okay, just be careful," Tommy warned his face solemn.

Nate promised he would, though he wasn't sure how much stock could be placed in that assurance.


	34. The Past Will Haunt You

_**Okay folks, this is the first part of the final chapter. Once before on another site, when a long story came to a conclusion I made an offer to the readers. If anybody has a situation or circumstance that I didn't cover and you would like to see, let me know. I can't make any promises, but if the juices flow I would be happy to write a one shot using your suggestion. You can PM me or write it in a review. I will respond to you one way or another, I promise. It has been a joy writing Nate into Justified and I will miss the little guy. Who knows maybe I will be moved by the season 4 finale to write Nate into it, time will tell. Thank you all for your support, you're the best! This final chapter will be two parts.**_

**The Past Will Haunt You**

Raylan slowly eased the reins on Nate as life began to take on typical overtones. Tommy had even become brave enough to say hello to him at school. But there was still an itch that Nate felt compelled to scratch.

"Why do you keep asking me about my family?" Cade wanted to know. They spoke every couple of weeks and lately that had been the topic of conversation.

"I just feel like I need to know," Nate stated.

"There is nothing about them that you need to know."

"I don't even know how many aunts, uncles and cousins I have."

"Your mother and I were the youngest; we had two older brothers and an older sister."

"What are their names?" Nate pushed.

"Natalie, Colin and Conner. Conner has two boys, Colin has a boy and a girl and so does Natalie, they are all around your age, a few older, a few younger. Now enough of this, put it out of your mind. You have no idea what they are capable of."

"My dad told me what they do."

"Then why won't you drop it?"

"I just want to see them, meet them. If it's so bad then why didn't they leave too?"

"It's not an easy thing to leave everything you know behind and realize that you can never go back. I can't tell you what went on in their minds, but I had seen enough to know I didn't want a part of it and neither did you mother. Promise me you will let this drop," Cade said as he was being waved back to work.

"Okay," Nate said unconvincingly.

Cade closed his phone and wasn't at all satisfied with his nephew's response.

_**Raylan still occasionally**_ had the dream where Nate backed himself off the cliff, but it hadn't been nearly as frequent. He was finally getting a decent night's sleep and Nate seemed to have dropped the entire Campbell issue. His friend Taylor had come down to watch TV a few times and they were working on a History project together; splitting time between the two houses. Raylan had hoped these events signaled that Nate had moved forward and was getting back to normal. He had tossed the t-shirt that had come in the mail into the garbage at work, hoping everything Campbell would go with it.

Seth had quite a storied history as did two of his sons. They had all done varying times in the local big house where it was rumored Seth had nearly beaten another inmate to death. With no witnesses and out of camera range nothing could be proven, and other than another thirty days tacked on to his sentence there were no repercussions. He of course had been responsible for so much more but was often protected out of fear of retribution. Raylan thought that maybe he should have allowed his son to see why he was so adamant about protecting him, but he made a judgment call and he only hoped it was the right one. And so far it had been, until the day it wasn't.

Nate had thought long and hard about his plan. He just couldn't seem to let it go. He felt as if he was being tugged to his outlaw family and no matter how hard he tried and no matter how many times he was told to drop it, he found he just couldn't.

That morning as he waved goodbye to his father he pulled out his phone and left one text and made one phone call.

"_**So how long have you known**_ my dad?" Nate asked.

"Well we dug coal together when we were teenagers, but we had a few times together when we were younger," Boyd answered his big grin encouraging Nate to inquire further.

"Like what?" the boy asked taking the bait.

"Well one time I was coming down the road not far from your daddy's old house and I saw Raylan down by the creek. So I went up to him to see what he was doing."

"What was he doing?"

"He was supposed to have been fishing, he had his pole out and everything, but that's not what he was focusing on."

"Go on," Nate encouraged.

"Well there he was, his eyes all turned towards Wanda Bitterman who was wading downstream a bit. Now she wasn't naked, but let's say she wasn't overdressed either. And your daddy had her in his sights."

"And then you did too," Nate filled in.

"How right you are. So there we were ogling that girl like she was a big ole lollipop ready to be licked, when her daddy came up on us and saw what we were doing. We took off running, thinking we had gotten away with our peepin' ways. But by the time we made it back to the house her daddy was there telling Arlo all about our misdeeds."

"It doesn't seem like such a big deal to me. She was in a public place; she had no right to expect privacy."

"Yeah well, it was a different time and there are gentlemanly rules that are expected to be followed in this part of the hills. And we broke them."

"How old were you?"

"Let's see, probably about your age, maybe a tad older."

"So what happened?"

"Old Arlo gave us what for. He said he could take care of it or let my father know and let him deal with me. I played the odds and went with Arlo, but boy that man could swing a mean switch. I had no idea," Boyd said shaking his head with the memory.

"Arlo wasn't quite the soft and fuzzy dad was he?"

"Not hardly, but there aren't too many around here that are, too much stress and strain worrying 'bout where the next meal is coming from, there's nothing left over to put up with crap from your kids. You ever been smacked with a switch?"

"No, a belt though," Nate offered as if that would earn him some respect.

"Now that carries some sting, I'll give you that, but a switch…ooohhh now that takes a bite right out of ya. There is no other sting like it," he whistled.

"Any other stories?" Nate asked hopefully trying not to think about the painful punishment.

"None that I'm comfortable sharing with you. Raylan was always a bit different, bent on getting out of here like many of us, but you could see the determination in his eyes." Nate looked over and seemed to accept that answer. "I see that same determination in your eyes."

"Maybe, but I have no idea what I'm determined to do."

Nate had become nearly hypnotized by the hills as they passed by. The terrain was so different here than what he had grown used to in Florida. The palm trees and days on the beach, his mother smiling at him from the water, all memories he had shoved far from his consciousness since her death.

"We're nearly there," Boyd announced shaking Nate from his reverie. "You okay?"

"Hmmm, yeah, I'm good." He said blinking back the sadness. His reality was now steeped in these mountains as deeply as the coal. He looked over at Boyd and wondered what the man's true motivation was for bringing him. It wasn't all that long ago that Nate had taken out his gun and refused to open the door for him, and now he was riding shotgun. It did seem to be true that desperation created situations that had no business being. They were both kidding themselves if they truly believed that Raylan wouldn't find out about Boyd and his chauffeuring duties. And Nate found it hard to think he carried enough weight that a few words with his grandfather would make all the difference in Boyd's future business dealings.

"Are you sure you're healthy enough to get up over that hill?" Boyd asked as he pulled off on the side of the road looking up at the vertical expanse ahead.

"I can manage," Nate said. "Thanks for bringing me and not asking too many questions."

"Well a boy ought to know his own kin," Boyd said smiling.

"I'll tell him that you are interested in doing some business."

"Yeah, that'd be great. I thought we had parted on good terms and I really need a few things. You be sure and tell him money is no problem and I'll be a repeat customer."

"I will- and then I'll forget all about our conversation."

"Good boy, now I know Raylan and I know he'll push you now and in the future for answers …"

"I can keep a secret," Nate replied knowing he would do his best. "You gave me the ride, I give you my silence, and the message to Seth," he quickly added. Just don't blow me or my dad up…okay?"

"You have my word," Boyd said as Nate climbed out of the car.

He looked at the hill in front of him and began his journey. Boyd sighed as he saw the young Givens attack the hill. He shook his head hoping the ends justified the means.

_**Raylan was out in the field**_ interviewing witnesses who had reportedly seen a federal fugitive in the area. The cell reception was spotty at best, so it was no surprise that when the school called to report Nate's absence his phone didn't even bother to ring.

_**Nate continued to walk**_ up the hill slowly. The grass, weeds and wildflowers were halfway to his knees in some places, and he could only imagine what was hiding in the brush. He had been leading the way with a stick to tip him off to any trip wires. His daddy hadn't raised a fool and he was sure that the redneck security system was in place all over the property. And sure enough in his leisurely stroll he had found no less than three. He gingerly stepped over two and slid underneath one. He had no idea what might have happened if he hadn't seen them, but he was sure it would have involved the loss of body parts.

Finally he reached the top of the hill, the mile walk taking him well over an hour in his due diligence. But he was alive and had all of his fingers, toes and scalp. He came to an electrified fence where he stopped and debated whether or not he could slip through the gap between the wires. He tossed his stick at it and realized that the power was off at the moment, so losing no time he scurried through, his back skimming the one wire, but gratefully no voltage shot through him.

He was suddenly greeted by three dogs; two Black and Tan Coonhounds and a Blood Hound, all staring at him with mild curiosity. He waited for them to bark and signal the intruder alert but they just stood gazing at him and sniffing the air. "Well aren't you three a cliché if I ever saw one. Please tell me your names aren't Cletus, Roscoe and Guthrie," Nate told they continued to gaze at him. He looked around and saw several outbuildings ahead, so with his companions in tow he began the last leg of his journey.

"You need to work on your perimeter security," Nate said coming up behind his grandfather who was prying open a wooden box just inside a barn painted bright white.

"Jesus H. Christ, how the hell did you get here?" Seth asked gun in his hand as he spun around. "I could have shot you."

"Yeah, I guess you could have."

"What are you doing here? And why didn't y'all bark?" he asked the dogs.

"My DNA must smell similar to yours. I just wanted to see where you live; I felt that we left things a bit unsettled at our last meeting."

"Does your daddy know you're here?" He asked as he told the dogs to 'git' the local term for go away.

"I think you already know the answer to that. Oh before I forget Boyd Crowder is looking to do business with you again. Says money is no object. You might want to get in touch with him." Seth stared unsure what to make of the request he just nodded. "So how much land do you have here?" Nate asked scanning the area. He made note of the flag brandishing the rampant lion flapping in the breeze. It was the trademark of the family just as he had suspected, he was waiting for a bagpipe to whine in the distance.

"Boy if you cause your father to come storming up here after you, I will not be pleased at all."

Nate didn't seem to be paying attention as he continued to gaze at homestead around him. "Is that full of guns?" he asked nodding towards the box.

"Listen to me boy; you need to go right now. Just cause I helped you out once don't mean I want you hanging around here. I got no use for you."

"Why did you help my dad find me?"

Seth stood there unsure of how to respond. "Because you are my kin, and Campbell's take care of their own."

"But I'm not good enough to be here?"

"It ain't about that. Look this is complicated, your mama wanted to leave, so she did and she took you with her. I wanted you to stay, wanted you both here with us, but she didn't have the same plans. Her and Cade always defiant, and now I see you are the same way."

"And here I thought I got that trait from my father," Nate said studying the box at his grandfather's feet. "So does that mean I'm never welcomed again?"

"It means we've moved on and don't need you."

"Who sent me the t-shirt and the note that you were thinking about me?"

Seth looked at his grandson, genuinely confused by the question.

"Not you I take it." Nate surmised.

"Dammit," he said finally stuffing the gun back into the holster on his hip, much like Raylan's. "Woman!" he yelled out as he stepped out of the barn, with Nate trailing him.

An older woman came scurrying out of another outbuilding about twenty yards away. She squinted towards Seth as she walked unsure of who the boy was he was talking to.

"How do I know the marshal service didn't send you in here to scout out the place and report back to them?"

"Cause they don't employ eleven year olds and if they wanted to scout," Nate said using his fingers to indicate quotation marks, "this place out, they would just use Google earth."

"Figures the smartest one, ain't the one that stayed around," Seth said as his wife finally made her way to the gathering.

She looked at Nate and her hand flew to her mouth. "Oh my goodness, is this Nate?"

"Yeah he got your gift," Seth snapped angrily.

"I didn't send no gift, that was one of Nattie's tads. They just wanted to send something to their cousin, she didn't see no harm."

"Well, the harm is standing right in front of you. He ain't got no business here and is connected to the marshal service to boot. I don't need that kind of trouble."

"You equate children to infant frogs? Interesting local flavor," Nate stated.

"Oh he's smart; I knew he would be smart." She said. "Your mama was so smart," she continued beginning to tear up.

"Smart or not, she left and took him with her and that means he don't need to be here now so don't start, we need to get this boy out of here before a bunch of federals show up."

"But I just want to see him," she began, her eyes clouding up again.

"Bonnie, now don't you defy me."

"Good grief, I thought Arlo was in a league all by himself but apparently there are many more teams in that league than I believed." Nate said shaking his head.

There was a cloud of dust down towards the road where the lane made its way to the homestead. A car door opened causing the two Campbell's to gasp. Bonnie shrieked and began to make her way down towards the vehicle. "My baby, my baby is home."

"Christ, what the hell is he doing here?" Seth said glaring at Nate.

Nate shrugged. "I'm just as surprised as you are."

Cade stopped and hugged his mother but his eyes were focused on his nephew and father. "It's a damn reunion," the older man stated.

"Nate what the hell do you think you are doing here?" Cade asked.

"I been asking him that all morning," Seth spat out.

"I needed to come," Nate reasoned.

"Where's your dad?"

"Working," Nate replied.

"Like he has always done," Seth answered. "Leaving my girl on her own and with a baby no less."

"I'm not a baby," Nate announced.

"You were back then," Seth continued. "He had no right being with her."

"Love is a funny thing," Nate said smiling.

"Cept she left him," Seth reminded.

"She had no choice," Cade interjected. "I think I recall your insistence at their parting, in fact I think it was laced with a threat. You want to know about this man," Cade began turning his attention to Nate, "he told your mom he would kill Raylan if she didn't leave him." He then turned and looked back at his father. "So she did, only she left you too. You blamed him for giving her the means to leave when she had the resources herself all along. You were the one that pushed her so far away. Now I'm taking Nate with me, and we're leaving. Ma, I'm sorry that I have been gone for so long but I just couldn't be a part of this world and Nate has no business in it either."

She nodded, her face solemn. She looked over at the partially open box and sighed. "It's for the best. Nathaniel you are a very handsome boy and so smart. I'm glad I got to see you, but Seth is right you need to stay away, there is nothing here for you but trouble."

"And 'sides he's sickly," Seth added. "His body isn't strong or well. I got no use for that," Seth said staring at Nate. Cade, somewhat surprised suddenly understood what his father was doing and pulled his mother back towards him. "I need a strong fighter, someone who can run and hold his own. I need someone who can shoot first."

"I did shoot," Nate reminded.

"Not to kill, shootin' somebody in the knee is worthless."

"It wasn't worthless."

"You're too much of a thinker, ain't no room for that here. You stay up in the city where you're safe and not such a target. I won't be out to save your ass again."

"You did save me last time," Nate said quietly as if Seth needed to be reminded.

"Yes I did, but the only reason I did was just in case I needed a favor one day; having a federal marshal indebted to you is a great thing to have. Besides I can't have it gettin' around that some Yankee came down here and had his way with my grandson.

"So it wasn't even about saving me," Nate said looking hurt.

"Think what you want," Seth answered gruffly.

Cade looked over at the boy with sympathy in his eyes. "You get a shipment in?" he asked changing his view to the box.

"None of your business. Now take him and go," Seth ordered.

**To be continued…**


	35. The Past Will Haunt You part II

**The Past Will Haunt You**…this is the official final installment of The End of Innocence.

_**Thanks to everyone who has read my story, I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Next week I will post a very short missive of Raylan's thoughts as he sat and stared at Arlo's grave last week. If anybody has any prompts for me with Nate and Raylan just PM me **___

_**If inspiration hits me I will add one shots as I have time.**_

Suddenly a second cloud of dust was kicked up as another car screeched to a halt next to Cade's. "Damn, I knew you'd bring trouble boy," Seth said trying to see what was behind the dust.

"Guess your dad got my message," Cade told Nate.

"You called him?" Nate asked incredulously.

"You texted me," Cade reminded.

"Touché," Nate replied.

"I just happened to be at Fort Campbell for a week of training, and then borrowed this motor pool car just to get here before you did anything stupid, but I guess I was too late." He said looking stern.

Raylan was storming up the incline with Tim on his heels. He looked even more pissed than Cade. He tipped his hat at Bonnie and then headed for his son. Cade stepped in-between them. "We were just leaving."

"Shouldn't need to leave because he shouldn't be here," Raylan glared at his son.

"Can I just have a minute Dad, please," he added, as Raylan looked at him shocked.

He thought about it for a moment and eventually nodded in agreement, figuring he might as well let Nate finish this once and for all. He along with the increased population stepped away, Bonnie smiling at the marshal.

Nate turned and looked at his grandfather in the eye. "Can we just drop all the pretense for a moment? You're a bad guy, a man who my mother fled, who my uncle fled. But you saved my life and that won't change. We have somebody in common that we both loved very much and she is gone now. But that relationship will never change. Now you can tell me how worthless I am so that I won't ever want to come back, and I can respect that, but once again it was done out of love. You're lifestyle choices aren't ones I respect or can accept, but that doesn't change who you are to me. You lost her but you are pushing me away for my own protection and I can appreciate it." Nate said, his eyes getting moist. "You knew we were in Lexington, but left us alone and I don't really believe you would have killed my father years ago, because you would have never hurt my mother that deeply. I will leave here and not come back, granting everyone their wish, but I just needed to have this moment. I needed to see this part of her." Nate looked back at his father. "It may cost me dearly, but this was something I just had to do or I would have never been satisfied."

Seth couldn't believe it, but at that moment he wanted more than anything to embrace his grandson. He couldn't recall the last time he had felt this way. Here was this boy, making more sense than anyone he had ever known and he had told him to leave and never come back. But love can make people do some very strange things. His blue eyes threatened to lose the tears that had collected. Nate had instantly seen right through him and he had never felt closer to anyone than he did at that moment as the two mourned what they no longer had; a mother and a daughter. He licked his lips then bit the lower one as the tear finally outgrew its mooring and slid down his cheek. He grabbed his grandson and hugged him fiercely.

Raylan stood there in disbelief; he would have sooner expected a herd of flying pigs or the even the space shuttle to land at his feet than this uncharted grand display of affection. He admired his son's ability to bring out emotions in one of the most severe people he had ever known. Despite seeing a shadow of a soft side, Raylan still had no doubt of what this man was capable of. Nate may not want to believe that Seth could have carried out Raylan's assassination, but the marshal had no doubt of its sincerity.

The two parted and shared one last look. Nate then went over and hugged his grandmother. She unlike her husband made no effort to hide her emotions as she reluctantly let Nate go. With goodbyes said and done, Raylan had Tim take Nate down to the cars. Cade stayed back with Raylan for the moment.

Cade turned to his parents. "He's an amazing kid and I'm sorry you will never know him. Nadie would be so proud of him, she loved him more than anything. I'm doing well and have enjoyed my life and I appreciate you just leaving me be. Ma, I'll call you sometime," he promised.

Bonnie smiled and pulled her son into an embrace, her tears once again flowing. She held her youngest son as long as she dared before releasing him. Cade shook his father's hand and then made his way down to where Nate and Tim were waiting.

Nate had been looking up the hill where a boy had ducked out from behind a tree. He looked to be around Nate's age and was wearing the very same t-shirt that had been sent in the mail. The two cousins locked eyes and gave small waves to one another.

"I wonder why he isn't in school?" Nate asked nobody in particular.

"Don't know," Tim answered absentmindedly as he continued to look around. The home was a good size with a wraparound porch and several outbuildings dotting the surrounding terrain. There were no other homes in sight but he was sure they weren't far. The land was a tricky drive that took longer than expected as Raylan had to stop and retrace his steps a few times. All the roads looked alike and it was only after the landmark you were looking for never materialized that it became apparent you were in the wrong place.

"So how mad is he?" Nate asked not taking his eyes off his cousin.

"Your dad? Oh he is pissed, I would so not want to be you. In fact I'm kind of scared of getting back in the car or what I might witness before he drops me off."

"Thanks for the support," Nate said his heart hammering in his chest. He hadn't seen his dad this upset in his young life but actually he could understand it and certainly couldn't blame the man. But still, he was in no hurry to feel the certain wrath that was to come.

Cade finally arrived and followed Nate's eyes to his cousin. He nodded his head towards his other nephew, who returned the gesture and then turned and jogged off. "Boy this is about the stupidest stunt ever," he yelled turning his attention back to Nate.

Nate nodded slightly feeling the doom close in around him. "Sorry," he whispered.

"Oh you will be, Raylan will make sure of that. In fact I'm ready to haul your ass around back of this car and exact my pound of flesh."

"I won't stop you," Tim said putting his hands up.

Raylan and Seth were having some final words which ended with a handshake. Raylan once again tipped his hat to Bonnie and turned heading back towards the cars. Nate bit his lower lip as he could see the anger not only on his father's face but in his gait.

"Do you want to tell me what in the hell you were thinking," Raylan said, the anger so apparent, his words had to fight their way out. He was towering over Nate, his eyes dark and penetrating.

Tim and Cade just stood there, unsure of their role in this developing family drama. They both believed that Nate had crossed a line and put himself and others in danger with this stunt, but weren't sure if they wanted the drama to develop right here.

"Raylan, I have to get this car back to the base, I'm just glad I was close. I wasn't looking forward to this training but I'm sure glad for it now. Anyway, all I told them was that I had a family emergency and would be back as soon as possible."

"Thank you for coming up and helping out. I'm grateful for your intervention and phone call," Raylan said.

"I wish you could be stationed at Fort Knox or Fort Campbell," Nate said shaking his head at the irony of the one base sharing the family name.

"Me too, maybe next time," he said winking. "Raylan, even though he deserves it, don't kill him, but you have my blessing and encouragement to give him a good old fashioned Kentucky ass whippin'."

"Duly noted," Raylan said shaking Cade's hand.

Nate recalled his conversation with Boyd in the car and gave an involuntary shudder. He looked over at Tim who just shook his head.

Cade walked back to the car where Nate jogged after him. "I'm sorry," he said hugging the man who was the first to step in on his behalf.

"I know you are, but you are too smart to pull something like this. I'm disappointed in you Nate, deeply disappointed and I'm telling you right now that if for whatever bizarre reason your daddy doesn't take care of this I will. Am I clear?"

"Yes sir, I understand, but I have a feeling it will be taken care of," Nate said turning his head towards his father.

"I'm sure it will be too, as it should be. You listen to him and accept whatever he hands out, cause boy you deserve it. Let your acceptance of your punishment define you, not this escapade."

"Kay," Nate said quietly waiting, wanting to say something more.

Cade smiled knowing what the boy wanted to ask. "You want to know what I was talking about before don't you?" Cade asked, knowing his nephew was wondering what the definition of a good old fashioned Kentucky punishment was.

"Kind of."

"Well look up there," Cade said pointing to Raylan who was stripping a branch that he just pulled from a nearby tree. Nate again, recalled the conversation with Boyd earlier and swallowed. "You'll survive it, we all did."

"Is he going to do it here?" Nate asked with panic creeping into his voice.

"I doubt it, just preparing, there are no better trees for discipline than the ones around here, believe me I ought to know. I think I've pulled branches off nearly all of them. I have a strong feeling Raylan is familiar as well, having chosen quite a few in his day. You did wrong Nathaniel and now you have to accept the consequences, do you understand that?"

"I'm beginning to."

"Now get on back up there and I'll call you in a couple of days." Cade said as he climbed in his car.

Nate looked at his uncle and asked, "How come you didn't tell us you would be this close?"

"Because when we have training, it's very intense and we don't have time for visits. There was no point in letting you know."

"Oh, okay. What are you training for?"

"Rappelling, you just never know when you might need to rappel down from a helicopter."

"Oh," Nate repeated. "I guess I'll see ya."

"Yes you will," Cade said with a wink. He then shut his door and started the car.

Tim took a look at the narrow limb that Raylan was pulling the last leaves off of. "Ouch," he winced.

"That's the goal. I've felt my fair share the sting."

"And now you will pass it down to the next generation," Tim said.

"Not a fan?"

"Not saying that at all, you do what needs done. I was a perfect child so I never had to face such fury," he said smiling.

Raylan's eyes got wide as he didn't believe a word his partner said. "Then tell me what the secret is."

"You're holding the secret, you can just ask my old man. I wasn't perfect at first, it took some time and encouragement, but by the time I left for the Army I had just about had it down." Tim said smiling.

Nate shuffled back to Raylan and Tim holding his head down so he didn't have to make eye contact. "Well we're done here, Nate get in the car," Raylan said, some of the bite now gone from his words.

They all took their respective spots in the car where Nate buckled up and then focused on the scenery outside his window. "Anything to say for yourself?" Raylan asked.

"Sorry," Nate mumbled again.

"Sorry for what? Sorry for dragging your uncle away from his job? Sorry for having me leave work and drag Tim into our family spectacle? Sorry for possibly putting everyone in danger? Which one is it Nathaniel?"

Nate hesitated looking at his father who was glaring at him in the rearview. "All of it I guess."

"Here, why don't you hold on tight to this for me. Keep it safe, cause we'll be needing it later," Raylan said passing the switch back to his son.

Nate took the slender green stick and set it down on the seat next to him pushing it to the other side of the car as if it would bite, and he supposed it would in due time. The drive seemed to take forever, even longer than the ride down which had seemed endless at the time. Nate concentrated on looking out his window while Tim played a game on his phone pretending he wasn't enveloped in all the tension that surrounded him, while Raylan concentrated on the road and glaring in the rearview mirror from time to time. He was gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles seemed to become permanently white.

Finally they made it back to Lexington and the federal building where Tim, ever so gratefully, got out of the car. He slammed the door and winked at Nate before the car roared off down the street.

"Are we going home?" Nate asked tired of the silence.

"Got any other place you need to be?" Raylan replied, his eyes flickering up to the mirror.

"No sir, just asking is all."

"You still got my stick?"

"Yeah it's here," Nate said pulling it towards him. It felt so light yet he knew it would pack a mean punch. Unless his dad was just putting on a show and it was simply a prop that wouldn't be used. But somehow he doubted it, besides, who was he kidding, he deserved every lick. He couldn't believe Cade had declared there was a family emergency and had come to help him, but he was grateful he had. Without the intervention he wasn't sure if it might not have gone a totally different way.

Raylan had watched his son as the boy appeared to be in deep thought. He wondered what was going on in Nate's head; he wish he knew as maybe it would help understand what had spurred this reckless field trip. He really had no idea what he was going to say to him, but he was sure he could handle it, the trick would not to look into those brown eyes and cave.

The car followed the well-worn path to the house. Raylan got out and stretched not realizing how tense he had been over the last few hours. He stretched his back and arms as Nate tread his way to the front door. "You forgot something," Raylan reminded.

Nate looked momentarily confused but then realized what his father was speaking of and slowly made his way back to the car. He looked through the window into the backseat, the switch looking so innocent but mocking him all the same. He lifted up the handle and pulled the door towards him moving his body around the black panel and reaching inside to grab what he had been instructed to. He slammed the door and held the slim branch in his hand as he met his father at the open front door.

They went inside where Nate walked through the living room and was heading towards his bedroom, the switch still tucked in his left hand. "Where are you going?" Raylan barked.

"My room," Nate answered a hint of hope in his voice. Hoping if he could get to his room he would be safe.

"I don't think so kiddo, have a seat," he said pointing to the couch.

Nate took a tick longer to move than Raylan wanted causing him to yell out to move it. Nate jerked in response to his father's order and quickly turned and planted himself onto the couch. He had been trying to decide how he wanted to play this, and common sense would say to use lots of yes sirs and no sirs and apologize many times. But he still had so many questions and feared the topic would never be allowed to see the light of day ever again.

"Let's start by you telling me what the hell you were thinking," Raylan said as he took his hat off and set it down on the coffee table that he was currently using as seat. He sat on the sturdy table looking at his son who was trying to sink down into the couch. "Well?" he repeated his eyebrows raised up.

"I don't know, I just needed to know where she came from. It's like her dad came out of nowhere and helped save me. Suddenly there was whole 'nother branch in my family tree and I wanted to be a part of it."

"But you were told to stay away, why didn't you?"

Nate shrugged his shoulders. "I tried, but it was all I could think about. I needed to touch base with them."

"And I told you no and with good reason."

"But you wouldn't tell me that reason."

"I wouldn't tell you?" Raylan questioned. "I explained to you what they were capable of, what the family business was. What about them being in the gun business indicated that you should go running to them?"

"They sent me a t-shirt; I just wanted to be a part of something." Nate shrugged.

"Something your mother worked very hard to get you away from, yet you spit on her memory and defied her and me."

"I didn't spit on her memory," Nate defended.

"Yes you did," Raylan said leaning in towards his son. "This is the last thing she would have wanted, yet you showed her memory no respect, and you showed me no respect. You just went off and did whatever the hell you wanted. As hard as it may be sometimes you just have to do what you're told whether you like it or not. Now I want you to look at me son," he said waiting as Nate continued to look at the floor. "Look at me son."

Nate raised his head, his brain spinning from his father's words. "But you don't always do what you're told."

"I'm an adult and am allowed to make the decisions I feel are best. But I have to deal with consequences just as you have to."

"Like being sent back to Kentucky for killing that guy in Miami," Nate asked.

"All you need to know is that right now in your stage of life there is no democracy, you accept what I tell you and you do it, no questions asked. Well actually you can ask me questions but you still abide by the rules I give you."

"What if they don't make sense, like keeping me away from my family?"

"Nathaniel, I am your family. You and me are a unit. The Campbell's are involved in things that I don't want you to even know about much less be a part of. Don't you trust me? Don't you think I have your best interests at heart?"

"I trust you," Nate admitted.

"Then what the hell is your problem?"

"I hate not knowing things."

"Well then here you go, your cousin Cale wanted to send you a shirt so he did. You two are three months apart in age and I have a feeling he wanted to connect with you to escape what you so enthusiastically jumped in to. Seth, along with your uncles have been locked up more than they have been on the outside, they kill people, extort people and are just plain cruel and dishonest. Is that what you want to be a part of?"

"No, I guess not. Dad," Nate said looking up at Raylan his eyes soft, "did Seth really want to kill you?"

"I believe he would do anything to get what he wants, and if he felt my death would help with that, then yes I do believe it."

"And that's why Mom left, to protect you?"

"Seth generally gets what he wants," Raylan said dryly.

"But why would he save me only to hurt me, why do you think I would have been in danger by going down there?"

"You play by his rules; he doesn't like surprises because he isn't in charge. Nate, he has been known to protect and save people, only so he could kill them himself. It's all about control – you took his control away today. It threw him for a loop and we were concerned about exactly where he would land when he fell from that loop. He is unstable and capable of being very brutal – kind of like a wild animal, you just never know what you're going to get." Raylan shifted his weight and looked at his son who was chewing on the information he had just received. Finally he broke the brief silence and asked, "I need to know who took you down there?"

Nate looked a bit surprised with the question. He had forgotten that his father would be curious about his mode of transportation. "A friend of mine from school, his brother took me," Nate lied.

Raylan was unsuccessful at preventing a smile. "Who is your friend?"

"Jeff, his brother works down there so he really knows the roads."

Raylan shook his head. "For a really smart kid you are being really stupid. Did you forget that you had no idea where the Campbell's lived? If you didn't know then how could you have given directions? Their place is hard to find, I had to backtrack more than once so don't give me this bullshit that a friend took you there, it had to be somebody familiar with not only Harlan County but where the Campbell compound is. Now let's try this again, who took you?"

"I can't say," Nate said.

Raylan stood up, unsure what he was going to do when his phone rang. He looked at the display and pushed the answer button. The conversation was quickly ended as he put off the questions a fellow marshal was asking until tomorrow. But as he clicked the end button his phone gave him a clue. "Now who would you know that would not only be willing to take you down to Harlan but would know where your grandparents live," he said as scanned his address book. "Dammit, Boyd Crowder, of course." He said answering his own question. "What the hell were you thinking, calling Boyd to drive you?"

"I didn't have a lot of choices," Nate admitted.

"I wouldn't consider him a wise choice. It wasn't all that long ago I found you behind a locked door with a gun all because the very same Boyd Crowder was in the front yard. Now what changed?"

"Nothing really, desperation I guess."

"Well Mr. Crowder and I will be having a talk," Raylan said angrily.

"Don't tell I told you, I said I wouldn't."

"I don't think you are in the position to demand anything young man. Do you want to know what bothers me the most about all this?" Raylan asked sitting back down, picking up his hat and fiddling with it in his hands.

"What?" Nate asked quietly.

"Your selfishness, what you did was purely selfish. It was all about you and you gave no consideration to anybody else around you, and that includes the Campbell's."

The declaration caught Nate by surprise as he hadn't thought about it in that way, but his father was right, he had only thought of himself. He made this trek purely because he had wanted to and gave no regard to anybody else. He involved his uncle by texting him because he did have concerns and wanted somebody to know his plans, but by doing so he unfairly dragged the man into something he should have never had to deal with. He also involved his grandmother and cousin, allowing them just a glimpse of their lost kin. As Nate thought about this bombshell of reality, Raylan was also lost in his own thoughts.

"Raylan you need to quit being so damn selfish," Nadine was telling him during one visit when Nate was six. A house in the neighborhood had caught fire and been condemned, but despite the keep out and no trespassing signs the kids in the area couldn't help but invite themselves past the boarded up windows and barriers to hang out. The older kids loosened some boards and the younger ones followed their counterparts inside. Nadine had told Nate over and over not to go near the house but she had caught him once and suspected he had been back since then.

"I punished him but obviously it didn't take as I had hoped. Now I know the last thing you want to do on your visit is discipline him but its part of the job."

"I just don't get to see him that often and I don't want him to be mad at me the whole time I'm here," Raylan argued.

"I understand that, but I'm always the bad guy, telling him to finish his homework, eat his vegetables, go to bed and on and on. You come down and it's one big party. So I am asking you to not be so selfish and be his father not his buddy. You need to remind him that you are a parent, his parent and will correct him when he does wrong." Nadine finished.

And in the end Raylan had stepped up and disciplined his son who stayed away from the house until it was finally knocked down. It did take a bit of joy out of their long weekend together, but the boy quickly got over the drama and Raylan felt much better about his place in his son's life. And now he found himself in that place again only on a much grander scale.

He was shaken from his memory as Nate was attempting to give him the switch. "Can it be time?" he asked his face tentative.

"I think we've covered everything. Look Nate the bottom line is, you are a great kid, it's just sometimes you don't make the best choices and our choices are what can make a man great. Remember that it's what you do when nobody is looking that defines you."

Nate nodded his face solemn. "I understand. You said mom had left to protect me, to free me from her past. And it's just that to be truly free, you need to know what you're free from. Now I know because I've seen it for myself."

"You ought to be giving me advice." Raylan answered steering his son towards the dining room table. His mind flashed back to the many punishments that Arlo had handed out over the years, few, if any, out of love. He settled Nate against the table; he grasped the switch so tightly it was biting into the skin on his hand. He looked at his sons' small, fragile frame as he inhaled deeply. He had been in that position so many times in his youth, sometimes deserving, but often times not. There was no doubt that Nate deserved this but suddenly Raylan was unsure. The boy had seemingly learned a powerful lesson and hadn't been satisfied until he had seen what he needed for himself, not accepting merely the words and warnings given to him; did that make him a bad kid? On the contrary it made just what Raylan had always feared – it made his son just like him. Nate was merely following the genetic path laid out before him. He saw a lot of himself in his son and that scared the hell out of him.

Nate turned to look back, wondering what was taking so long when Raylan pulled him all the way around and pulled him into an embrace. He feared the boy might pull away but he not only stood his ground he reciprocated and suddenly he knew they would be okay. "I'm sorry, but I take things head first, I don't scare easy… it's just that I'm second generation." Nate stammered.

"Second generation what?" Raylan asked.

"Second generation you." Nate stated.

"That you are," Raylan concurred, deciding he didn't have to be a second generation Arlo.

"Can we get this over with," Nate asked his big brown eyes almost pleading.

"What you said, about knowing what you had been freed from –

"Yeah?"

"You put it very poignantly and I guess I had never thought of it that way. You are already the man I hope to be."

"You're a good man, don't think that you aren't."

"I do often wonder."

"Why, because everybody keeps leaving you?"

Again Raylan was surprised by his son's maturity and emotional intelligence. "I suppose that might be it."

"I'm not leaving you, I won't leave you. I promise," Nate said just above a whisper. "We have to stick together; we're the only ones who truly understand each other."

Raylan shook his head in disbelief of Nate's wisdom. "I suppose you're right about that."

"So can we do this?" Nate asked nodding towards the switch still in Raylan's hand.

"Do we need to?"

Nate stood, pondering the question for a moment. He bit his lower lip and then looked up into his father's eyes. His face seemed so intent and he finally spoke. "Somewhere, there's a world where everything makes sense." He sighed.

"It certainly isn't this one." Raylan said looking off to the far corner of the room.

"Or maybe it is." Casting aside his sanity along with his well-being he stepped back towards the table. There were at least a hundred other places Nate would rather be, but this was the one place that he needed to be and that is what made him his father's son.

Raylan bit back a smile and nodded, his son's actions once again affirming just how much the two of them were alike.

**The End**


	36. Deep In Thought

This takes place at the end of the finale as Raylan sits outside trying to make sense of his life.

**Deep In Thought**

Raylan sighed as he returned to his chair outside after watching Nate sand the mud where he had patched the hole in the wall. A simple hole in the wall or more correctly what the wall had hidden behind it was the reason this whole Drew Thompson/Nicky Augustine saga had come about, and with it plenty of death and destruction. It's not like father and son hadn't been down a treacherous road before, but this time, it involved Winona and the child they hadn't even had the decency to meet yet. This life was hard enough, but Raylan couldn't seem to leave it, even when his own family had been at risk.

Nate had been staying at Winona's for a few days. It was spring break, she needed the nursery painted and Raylan needed child care, and despite his son's protests the arrangement had worked out well, until Augustine's henchmen showed up. Walking into that room to see his ex-wife, unborn child and son held at gunpoint nearly ripped his gut out. Winona had looked properly frightened while Nate only looked slightly annoyed. He wasn't sure which expression had been harder to stomach.

When he disarmed and shot the first man, Nate had flown across the room with speed that Raylan thought he was no longer capable of. The boy proved to be a great distraction and made the next kill almost too easy for the marshal. Then in an odd show of force Winona managed to get the loose gun that had landed on the floor and together the couple shot and killed the last man. When the dust had settled Raylan looked over to see Nate pouting. Fearing he had gotten hurt, he went over and squatted down next his son and looked him over. Relief pour over him when he came to realize Nate was merely upset that he didn't get to shoot anybody.

His son's mood only worsened when he too, was shipped off with Winona to a safe place while Raylan went off unbeknownst to Art, to get Nicky forever out of the picture. Raylan wanted this kill all to himself, after all he had let Seth Campbell finish off Quarles, the man that was about to victimize his child in ways that nobody should ever have to deal with. Raylan still hadn't quite reconciled himself with how all that had gone down. He hadn't even fired a shot and then was forced to lie about the whole thing; it just didn't sit well.

He knew he couldn't go off all halfcocked. Losing his job just wasn't an option, because everybody knew it was more than just a job, it was his identity, the very life-force that flowed through his veins. Without it, he couldn't face the future, fatherhood or any other important role in life. He had to come up with a plan. He knew he was capable, Nate hadn't gotten all of his brains from his mother, some of the boys' intellect had been drawn from the paternal side of the equation as well.

He knew it was like a game of chess, he just needed to slip in and say check, leaving Augustine smiling thinking he was going to be the one to say checkmate. It had only taken one phone call, his suspension and absolutely no desire to turn around to accomplish what was needed. One more threat had been terminated; unfortunately the list of those who wanted to harm him had grown, meaning that there would most likely be more to come. These threats were no longer just coming for him; they were coming for those he loved. Quarles wanted not only for Raylan to suffer, but he had wanted Nate all for himself, if they were mutually exclusive all the better for him. And now, now the circle had grown to include Winona and daughter who had been taken hostage even before she was born. Raylan imagined that Nate was jealous of her feat, beating him by years.

He couldn't quit, but how could he continue? He could just see Nate moving around in the house. How could he not love his family more, how could he betray them and their safety for a job? How could he continue on this path, but at the same time how could he not?

Nate stepped out of the house and saw his father nursing a beer as he gazed at Arlo's grave. He had a pretty good idea of what was going through his father's head. He knew Raylan was torn between the two worlds that meant so much to him and with no way to unite them. He had to watch Winona leave once again despite her admission that she loved him.

Nate was aware that his father's life had ever been easy and Raylan probably would have had no idea what to do if it was. He knew he would never be quite be big enough to fill the void that had been left, first by his mother and then by Winona, but he was surely going to try his best. Raylan had proved to him over and over that he wasn't perfect but was truly committed to being the best father he knew how to be and Nate only wanted to return the favor.

"Come see how it looks Dad?" Nate called out.

"I'm sure it's great son." Raylan replied remaining seated.

Nate looked over at his grandfather's fresh grave. He remembered two months ago when his buddy, Jack's grandfather died and how sad his friend had been. That was normal, but here he stood in his father's childhood home, staring at the final resting place of man he barely knew. He just couldn't understand how each of his parents had survived their dismal upbringing to make their own way in the world. But now that Raylan was back in the area, he hadn't been able, even with his shiny five pointed star, to resist the pull of Harlan and all that came with it.

Nate wandered towards his father whose gaze was firmly planted on that fresh grave. "It's okay if you're sad," he said. "I know he was a terrible dad, a crappy grandfather and a lousy person in general, but he was still your father."

Raylan was somewhat taken aback by what is son had just said. It was true his emotions were in turmoil with everything that had just happened, including Arlo's death. He wasn't even sure what he thought about anything at the moment.

"I bet it was hard for you when your mom died. I know I was really sad for me when my mom died and I have you instead of Arlo to take care of me."

Raylan looked up at his son who was standing next to him. He squinted in the sun and with a tight smile and nodded. "It was very hard; she was my one link to normalcy. I hated what she had to put up with and hoped that she was finally at peace. But I was also so angry that she left me."

"Yeah, me too," Nate whispered speaking of his own loss. "She would be proud of you, your mom."

"Oh, I don't know about that," Raylan replied.

"She would be I'm sure of it. Dad—''

"Yeah kiddo?"

"I don't want you to leave me."

"I have no plans to."

"But you have to promise me to be careful."

"I'm always careful."

"Were you scared when you came into the nursery and saw those guys?"

"I was scared that you or Winona would get hurt."

"That's how I feel about you all the time."

"Where is all of this coming from?"

"Because, you're always shooting people, one day they might shoot you. I mean it has happened once, it could happen again, but be worse." Nate explained his face a veil of concern.

"I promise you that I will always be careful, I'm not ready to die, not yet." Raylan assured.

"Are you sure, I mean really, really sure? I don't think Arlo or Mom was ready either but it happened."

"I'm better with a gun and I'm always ready."

"Okay, are you a little bit sad that Arlo died?"

"A little bit I suppose."

"Now you're an orphan."

"I guess I hadn't thought of that, I guess I am," Raylan said drawing a deep breath. "Come here," Raylan said reaching out to his son. Nate stepped closer to his father and Raylan pulled him into his lap and wrapped his arms around him and held him tightly.

"I won't leave you," Nate whispered as Raylan buried his head into Nate's chest hiding the tear that had finally escaped.


End file.
